Our Rules

The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon, or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. ...In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sports, cars, or sex. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape--ROUND IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

I've seen it a hundred times and it is always funny

1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon, or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. ...In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sports, cars, or sex. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape--ROUND IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. :iagree: 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. THESE two, on the other hand..... 1.) Nuh uh... sorry, the toilet lid thing is non-negotiable. End of story. I think after the first time your towel/razor/toothbrush falls into the bowl, you'll agree with me here. :dthumb: and 2.) Who ever said we wanted you guys to act like the guys on soap operas anyway? :lol:

:iagree: THESE two, on the other hand..... 1.) Nuh uh... sorry, the toilet lid thing is non-negotiable. End of story. I think after the first time your towel/razor/toothbrush falls into the bowl, you'll agree with me here. :dthumb: Now are you referring to the lid or the seat??? Cause the toilet seat theory is if you go in at night and it's up you fall in right? Well if the lid is down and your in a hurry, you're peein all over yourself!!! I always put the seat and the lid down, however it really makes more common sense for the ladies to put it down then for us to put it up. First of, it's much easier just to knock the the thing down..seriously, not that hard. Secondly, if your just talking the polite issue, why don't YOU ladies lift the seat when you walk away, then you won't have to worry about us lazy guys peeing on it. You should just be happy the seat is up and dry.

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH Both lid AND seat should be closed unless it's in use. Bottom line. Non-negotiable. :dthumb: :lol:

Both lid AND seat should be closed unless it's in use. Bottom line. Non-negotiable. :dthumb: All good with me, I usually pee outback when I'm letting the dog out anyway...the wife loves that one:lol:

I've seen it a hundred times and it is always funny :iagree:

All good with me, I usually pee outback when I'm letting the dog out anyway...the wife loves that one:lol: :idk: As long as the neighbors don't seeya, and you're not killing some really rare orchid back there, who cares? :lol:

I've never seen this before, but it's wicked funny!:lol: Rep served:dthumb: (don't forget to vote Tater/sdog30...we don't care if you leave the seat up like our opposition does...Nee:lol: )

Both lid AND seat should be closed unless it's in use. Bottom line. Non-negotiable. :dthumb: I'd give you rep for the quote (wicked funny!!:lol: ), but I can't, so accept this quote as a rep deserved.:dthumb:

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. God damn right!

I've never seen this before, but it's wicked funny!:lol: Rep served:dthumb: (don't forget to vote Tater/sdog30...we don't care if you leave the seat up like our opposition does...Nee:lol: ) :lol:

I've never seen this before, but it's wicked funny!:lol: Rep served:dthumb: (don't forget to vote Tater/sdog30...we don't care if you leave the seat up like our opposition does...Nee:lol: ) that is a strong selling point:lol:

that is a strong selling point:lol: I have cleavage. They don't. I win.

I have cleavage. They don't. I win. so do I, but I don't anyone is gonna vote for me because of it.:willy:

so do I, but I don't anyone is gonna vote for me because of it.:willy: :yikes: :leaving:

:yikes: :leaving: ok, so maybe not anymore...but the name was given to me for a reason:cry:

ok, so maybe not anymore...but the name was given to me for a reason:cry: :jacked: Sorry to jack your thread, but, it cracks me up that you sign your rep points "fat",...... coupled with some of the comments you leave, it just makes them all the funnier... :lol:

:jacked: Sorry to jack your thread, but, it cracks me up that you sign your rep points "fat",...... coupled with some of the comments you leave, it just makes them all the funnier... :lol: I do what i can:dthumb:

I have cleavage. They don't. I win. Those breasties are a hard one to beat, but we vow to lower taxes, cut spending, insure rider safety with new programs, improve our edumacation system and.......I'll personally rep anyone who reps me and Tater in support of our compaign.:dthumb: :lol:

Those breasties are a hard one to beat... {lookin down shirt} Nope, not hard to beat. Plain ol' unbeatable. :dthumb:

good stuff.

The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! That should be relabeled as "the single guys' rule" sup wit the "1"? no sense of priority? or does that signify being single (minded)? -a|ex I know it's a joke. I never finished my post... had to hit send before a co-worker walked into my cubicle... carry on...

That should be relabeled as "the single guys' rule" sup wit the "1"? no sense of priority? or does that signify being single (minded)? -a|ex Its a joke, its funny. Go ahead and laugh, I know you have it in you. Or has the wife got you that wipped your not allowed to laugh? Its all in good fun whether it is true of not.

Its a joke, its funny. Go ahead and laugh, I know you have it in you. Or has the wife got you that wipped your not allowed to laugh? Its all in good fun whether it is true of not. Oh snap...:zowned: :lol: I'd rep you, but...I can't:cursin:

{lookin down shirt} Nope, not hard to beat. Plain ol' unbeatable. :dthumb: Ohhhhh...Nee......I just thought of something. Women can't serve our "highest position" because you ladies get unstable during that "time of the month":idk: You might hit "the button" if your man happens to piss you off on that day for no apparent reason, soooooo.....looks like you and Sickie will have to secede from the election.:sorry: :lol:

Ohhhhh...Nee......I just thought of something. Women can't serve our "highest position" because you ladies get unstable during that "time of the month":idk: You might hit "the button" if your man happens to piss you off on that day for no apparent reason, soooooo.....looks like you and Sickie will have to secede from the election.:sorry: :lol: :leaving: Run hide...run hide.... you are a braver man than me Sdog

Ohhhhh...Nee......I just thought of something. Women can't serve our "highest position" because you ladies get unstable during that "time of the month":idk: You might hit "the button" if your man happens to piss you off on that day for no apparent reason, soooooo.....looks like you and Sickie will have to secede from the election.:sorry: :lol: :yikes: damn bro. You sure know how rile up a war of words. :lol:

I taking this one for the men....:leaving: :lol:

Those breasties are a hard one to beat, but we vow to lower taxes, cut spending, insure rider safety with new programs, improve our edumacation system and.......I'll personally rep anyone who reps me and Tater in support of our compaign.:dthumb: :lol: :blah: :blah: :blah: :blah: :blah: Psycho/Neebs you get to see boobies! BOO-YA!

Dlit, 06GSXR - Thanks for the support guys. I'm out of reps for the day and it says I have to wait for you Dlit, so I'll hit you up tomorrow or have Tater do it. I don't know where that somebiotch has been all day though.:idk: TATER- rep these guys for supporting the cause.:dthumb:

Ohhhhh...Nee......I just thought of something. Women can't serve our "highest position" because you ladies get unstable during that "time of the month":idk: You might hit "the button" if your man happens to piss you off on that day for no apparent reason, soooooo.....looks like you and Sickie will have to secede from the election.:sorry: :lol: OH CHIT! NO HE DI'IN'T! that's why only I will have the launch codes...

:blah: :blah: :blah: :blah: :blah: Psycho/Neebs you get to see boobies! BOO-YA! :lol: Out of rep, sorry brother. Don't tell anyone, but your slogan is awesome!!:lol: :dthumb:

OH CHIT! NO HE DI'IN'T! that's why only I will have the launch codes... That's how we bring it in '08!!:lol: Your running mate hasn't responded, so she must know it's true.:wink: :lol:

The Guys' Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. ...In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sports, cars, or sex. 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. IMHO, these are the best ones... See the trend...

Ohhhhh...Nee......I just thought of something. Women can't serve our "highest position" because you ladies get unstable during that "time of the month":idk: You might hit "the button" if your man happens to piss you off on that day for no apparent reason, soooooo.....looks like you and Sickie will have to secede from the election.:sorry: :lol: Geee... you're right... In fact... I'm feelin unable RIGHT NOW... Oh! So you'd better be nice to me, lest I launch something right toward ya.... :wink: (BTW... being a sexist pig isn't going to win you many votes..... :wink: )

:blah: :blah: :blah: :blah: :blah: Psycho/Neebs you get to see boobies! BOO-YA! and THAT shall be our campaign slogan!

That's how we bring it in '08!!:lol: Your running mate hasn't responded, so she must know it's true.:wink: :lol: His running mate was at lunch, you mouth-breather! :lol: :bash:

this conversation is amusing me at a very high level

this conversation is amusing me at a very high level *tee hee* Me, too!

Geee... you're right... In fact... I'm feelin unable RIGHT NOW... Oh! So you'd better be nice to me, lest I launch something right toward ya.... :wink: (BTW... being a sexist pig isn't going to win you many votes..... :wink: ) I'm just playin', baby.:wink: Now I'm going to go into the women's forum and make some pro-women/esteem lifting comments to win that vote. Man, I got this "running a campaign" thing down.:lol:

*tee hee* Me, too! Me three.:cheers: Thanks for starting this whole "fake campaign" shtick. It's so fun and entertaining. I'd rep you, but I blew my load for today.....that's load of reps you dirty girl.:wink: :lol:

I'm just playin', baby.:wink: :lol: I know..... not to worry - no harm, no foul. :wink:

Me three.:cheers: Thanks for starting this whole "fake campaign" shtick. It's so fun and entertaining. I'd rep you, but I blew my load for today.....that's load of reps you dirty girl.:wink: :lol: :lol: Oh it was actually OSS who nominated me for V.P., so you've got him to thank! :wink:

I say take it to the polls http://www.twowheelforum.com/showthread.php?t=12503

LMAO... this ought to be good!

LMAO... this ought to be good! you better get to campaigning... :nopicsbs:

you better get to campaigning... :nopicsbs: I've already posted a pic.... OSS has a GF -- I'm sure she's got goods he can post! :lol:

Hey fatburg you wanna run against them as the only campaigne with some sence?

Hey fatburg you wanna run against them as the only campaigne with some sence? I'm not really sure what i can bring to the table...definatly ain't no sense:lol: and besides, I don't think you can edit the poll options once posted.:idk:

Hey fatburg you wanna run against them as the only campaigne with some sence? You could run on the "Wee cain't speel" ticket. :wink: (and seriously, I'm only teasing... I've had more than my fair share of typos, too) :lol:

You could run on the "Wee cain't speel" ticket. :wink: I wasn't going to say anything..figured I woud just end up spelling something wrong also:readng:

I wasn't going to say anything..figured I woud just end up spelling something wrong also:readng: Were engineers, we cant spell worth a crap. :nonod:

oh yea houlked on foniks worlked for me.... I can spell pretty good really but i just miss type everything.... Whatever is near my fingers gets the push HAHA

I was totally joking with ya.... I get to where I'm typing faster than I'm thinking and then spelling goes *poof* right out the window. :lol:

Were engineers, we cant spell worth a crap. :nonod: ah ha...that was you that rep'd me for the engineers....I thought wo but wasn't for sure and no...we can't spell

I sell boats, I cant spell. haha

ah ha...that was you that rep'd me for the engineers....I thought wo but wasn't for sure and no...we can't spell Hey we have to take 50 math classes but only one english class and a tech writing class, thats it! Im surprised I even know how to spell my name. :lol:

Hey we have to take 50 math classes but only one english class and a tech writing class, thats it! Im surprised I even know how to spell my name. :lol: Sounds like you went to Missouri-Rolla:lol: where did you attend?

Sounds like you went to Missouri-Rolla:lol: where did you attend? UW (Washington)

UW (Washington) good stuff...what discipline?

I've seen it a hundred times and it is always funny can't believe this is the first time that I've seen those before :dthumb:

can't believe this is the first time that I've seen those before :dthumb: no shame....still good

I hadnt seen it either, thats why I posted it.

I've already posted a pic.... OSS has a GF -- I'm sure she's got goods he can post! :lol: I have video on my cell phone... Unfortunately most of what you can see is me... Lost all my pixxx of her... camera reformatted the card... Haven't tried it since then, but maybe I will get it out one of these days to see if it's working... If so, perhaps...

I have video on my cell phone... Unfortunately most of what you can see is me... Lost all my pixxx of her... camera reformatted the card... Haven't tried it since then, but maybe I will get it out one of these days to see if it's working... If so, perhaps... with all the :lhump: around here, it definately could sway public opinion greatly

good stuff...what discipline? Started out EE finished up CS

Started out EE finished up CS should have stayed EE...all the cool kids did:lol:

should have stayed EE...all the cool kids did:lol: Doesent matter, I ended up doing the same job as EE here at work.

Doesent matter, I ended up doing the same job as EE here at work. fair enough...where do you work at?

fair enough...where do you work at? Not for public consumption. sent PM