I was caught cheating on my wife last night....

I was at the park about a week ago and I meet this girl. Really nice looking, great personality, shaped liked a coke bottle. Anyway, yesterday me and a friend was at the carwash washing our vehicles when (let's just call her) Lisa drives up. We strike up a conversation and the next thing I know is that were at the apartment of another friend of mine who I have been watching his place while he is away on business. Well, she get undress and says that she wants to f@@k both of us, so you know were like heck yea'. Were sticking and licking, licking and sticking for about two hours.....I really think this girl is a pro or something. A knock at the door changes the groove. We all freeze! It's the cleaning service and she is bringing some new towels and wants to change the sheets. Me and my friends say busy at the same time while the person on the other side of the door is still trying to get the door unlock. She tries this again and once again we say busy....but this time the door opens. I jump off of Lisa and hide behind the door. My friend rolls on the floor next to the bed (you see, he's married also) and the door comes wide open. The cleaning lady says that she didn't hear us say anything so she used her master key. She sits some towels and sheets on the dresser and starts to walk out but looks up at the mirror. You see, the mirror is on the wall directly in front of the door. So as she look up, she saw me hiding behind the door and what do you know, she knows my wife. She use to keep my son from time to time. She looks at me, smile and turn around to leave and closes the door. Outside the door I can here her saying to her other workers, "you all would not believe who I just saw standing behind the door with no clothes on". I knew she is going to tell my wife. Anyway, we all clean ourselves up, get dressed and get ready to leave one person at a time. Well my phone rings, and I wake up!

:rofl: fooooooooll.......:rofl: Just when I thought there was gonna be some good drama on TWF.......someone needs to start an official drama thread....

I fell for that one.:crazy:

I fell for that one.:crazy: :withstupi me too!

threw me for a loop

no man in his right mind would admit to cheating on his wife out loud...us women have ways of finding out everything. :whistle: i figured you were just puttin' us on....:D

dream or not...still don't tell the wife:lol:

dream or not...still don't tell the wife:lol: Exactly. If it was a dream, then it sounds like someone has a guilty conscience.

Exactly. If it was a dream, then it sounds like someone has a guilty conscience. yep, I always say I was dreaming of her.....now that I think of it...It usually is her I'm thinking of

Exactly. If it was a dream, then it sounds like someone has a guilty conscience. yep, I always say I was dreaming of her.....now that I think of it...It usually is her I'm thinking of Hey Capt' I'm going to quote you: I didn't say anything dirty. Your interpretation of my comment is a reflection of YOUR thoughts, not mine.

Hey Capt' I'm going to quote you: I didn't say anything dirty. Your interpretation of my comment is a reflection of YOUR thoughts, not mine. well played

well played :iagree:

You got me. I hope you copied and pasted that from somewhere. If not, you tried too hard, but it did work so...

I skipped to the end and spoiled it for myself.

I skipped to the end and spoiled it for myself. Yeah, I read about half and did that.

Yeah, I read about half and did that. I knew something was up. I read the title and gave it one of these: http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m95/markgraves138/smilies/eek3.gif

The title caught me, and when i started reading it, I asked "Why the hell would this guy be airing this?", then I zoomed to the bottom.

The title caught me, and when i started reading it, I asked "Why the hell would this guy be airing this?", then I zoomed to the bottom. You threw the giant eek at him too: http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m95/markgraves138/smilies/eek3.gif

You threw the giant eek at him too: http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m95/markgraves138/smilies/eek3.gif :withstupi That thing is gigantic.

:withstupi That thing is gigantic. I'm always looking for an opportunity to use that or the giant willy. They tell ppl I mean business.

I'm always looking for an opportunity to use that or the giant willy. They tell ppl I mean business. Definately works.

:clap: :yup:

You got me. I hope you copied and pasted that from somewhere. If not, you tried too hard, but it did work so... No cut and paste, I actually came up with it on my on.

Dude, I hate that. Back in the day, I was dating this girl. It was like my first long term relationship (over three months) and first real love. I had a dream once that me and her younger sister were messing around. I woke up and was lying next to my girl. That sh#t freaked me out. Good story, though.

O, yea i spoiled it but its stilla good story.

Dude, I hate that. Back in the day, I was dating this girl. It was like my first long term relationship (over three months) and first real love. I had a dream once that me and her younger sister were messing around. I woke up and was lying next to my girl. That sh#t freaked me out. Good story, though. So did you hit it thinking of her sister? I would've...

So did you hit it thinking of her sister? I would've... I couldn't touch her sexually if she was sleeping because it freaked her out, hence ex-girlfriend (among many other issues) Kind of freaking waking up like that. Your almost not sure what's real for like half a minute.

I couldn't touch her sexually if she was sleeping because it freaked her out, hence ex-girlfriend (among many other issues) Kind of freaking waking up like that. Your almost not sure what's real for like half a minute. half a minute is all it takes.......:lol:

OMG that rocks :cheers:

I couldn't touch her sexually if she was sleeping because it freaked her out, hence ex-girlfriend (among many other issues) Kind of freaking waking up like that. Your almost not sure what's real for like half a minute. I would've woke her up and been like, "I had this crazy sexy dream about your... err... you... Get naked... and put your hair up... kinda like your sister does..." half a minute is all it takes.......:lol: Twice.

I would've woke her up and been like, "I had this crazy sexy dream about your... err... you... Get naked... and put your hair up... kinda like your sister does..." Word.

I would've woke her up and been like, "I had this crazy sexy dream about your... err... you... Get naked... and put your hair up... kinda like your sister does..." :rofl: And I could be like "Whadda mean no? Your sister didn't care if I did her in the arse in my dream??":idk: :wink:

I'm at work and do you know how much money I make per hour!!! $50 per hour. I took the time out of my day to read that blog and it took me about 5 min to read. That's $4.16 for 5 min of my time!!! Plus it's taking me 2.5 min to type this which is an additional $2.08 for a total of $6.25. And guess what, it was worth it because it was very entertaining. lol.. You got me man with that story.

no man in his right mind would admit to cheating on his wife out loud...us women have ways of finding out everything. :whistle: i figured you were just puttin' us on....:D :iagree: And if we even THINK you're messin' around, the 'nets the first place we'll look!

:rofl: And I could be like "Whadda mean no? Your sister didn't care if I did her in the arse in my dream??":idk: :wink: And that will be the end of you... I'm at work and do you know how much money I make per hour!!! $50 per hour. I took the time out of my day to read that blog and it took me about 5 min to read. That's $4.16 for 5 min of my time!!! Plus it's taking me 2.5 min to type this which is an additional $2.08 for a total of $6.25. And guess what, it was worth it because it was very entertaining. lol.. You got me man with that story. The only problem with your post is that it didn't cost YOU $6.25... It cost your EMPLOYER $6.25... Basically if you break it down... by reading that and the subsequent posts, then replying... you actually MADE money... Well done...

And that will be the end of you... The only problem with your post is that it didn't cost YOU $6.25... It cost your EMPLOYER $6.25... Basically if you break it down... by reading that and the subsequent posts, then replying... you actually MADE money... Well done... And it is THIS kind of astute understanding of economics that makes you the best candidate for Prez. :dthumb:

Actually it didn't cost my company money. My wasted time answering the blog actually gained my employer money because the company has to justify spending and if I'm wasting my time they get more money at the end of the year to justify man hours... Good post man.. I miss my bike. Plus I get a yearly raise. WOOOOOPPYYYYYY!!!!!!

Where has this thread gone. :idk: :lol:

Where has this thread gone. :idk: :lol: I kinda took it over here.... http://www.twowheelforum.com/showthread.php?t=12617

I kinda took it over here.... http://www.twowheelforum.com/showthread.php?t=12617 already on it! :jacked: by nee :cry:

already on it! :jacked: by nee :cry: Did not!! I started a whole NEW thread, rather than jackin' yours! :hug:

I learned from you my man because you threw me off with that long fake story. But as I said before, I did chuckl,, plus you are making me and the company I work for more money for me to waste my time. I don't know what to do with my GXR 750 06'. I feel the need to get the 1000 when I make it back to the states. That bike you have looks kind of clean, but it would draw too much attention in my hood and therefore someone would try me up. Women who are friends do not tell there friend that there husband is cheating because the wife usually thinks the friend wants the husb anyway and therefore she'd be considered a liar 1st, friend 2nd.

I learned from you my man because you threw me off with that long fake story. But as I said before, I did chuckl,, plus you are making me and the company I work for more money for me to waste my time. I don't know what to do with my GXR 750 06'. I feel the need to get the 1000 when I make it back to the states. That bike you have looks kind of clean, but it would draw too much attention in my hood and therefore someone would try me up. Women who are friends do not tell there friend that there husband is cheating because the wife usually thinks the friend wants the husb anyway and therefore she'd be considered a liar 1st, friend 2nd. :scratch:

:scratch: It's almost like three threads in one.

It's almost like three threads in one. But who's the schizophrenic one? Us, the thread or him? :scratch:

But who's the schizophrenic one? Us, the thread or him? :scratch: :idk: :idk: :idk: :idk: :idk: :idk: :idk: :idk: :idk: :idk: :idk: :idk: :idk: :idk: :idk:

What are we suppose to be talking about again?

What are we suppose to be talking about again? 1Bad's dream in which he cheated on his wife. What are we NOT supposed to be talking about again? How much money you make, cus trust me, we don't really care. :idk: (no offense dude, just came across as if you thought you were impressing someone)

this is the girl from my dream......:dthumb: http://www.twowheelforum.com/photopost/direct_data/532/thumbs/Beautiful_Chica_from_www_metacafe_com_3.jpg

this is the girl from my dream......:dthumb: http://www.twowheelforum.com/photopost/direct_data/532/thumbs/Beautiful_Chica_from_www_metacafe_com_3.jpg :drool She's one of those chicks from the Budapest thread, right?

:drool She's one of those chicks from the Budapest thread, right? :iagree: She is a truely hottieeeeeeeeeeee

1Bad's dream in which he cheated on his wife. How much money you make, cus trust me, we don't really care. :idk: (no offense dude, just came across as if you thought you were impressing someone) I think the money thing was a joke based on Sickies math thread of him making money by waisting time at work while reading 1Bad's story. He was commenting on three threads at once. Don't sweat it rlyoung:dthumb: The threads here can get a little off topic sometimes and a lot of us are on computers all day, so we check in often, so:welcome: :twfrox: The best thing to do when you're responding to someone's comments is to click on the "quote" button so they remember what you're reffering to. I know I'm on several threads at once and can forget what I said on another one.

:iagree: She is a truely hottieeeeeeeeeeee :dthumb: :drool:

I think the money thing was a joke based on Sickies math thread of him making money by waisting time at work while reading 1Bad's story. He was commenting on three threads at once. Don't sweat it rlyoung:dthumb: The threads here can get a little off topic sometimes and a lot of us are on computers all day, so we check in often, so:welcome: :twfrox: The best thing to do when you're responding to someone's comments is to click on the "quote" button so they remember what you're reffering to. I know I'm on several threads at once and can forget what I said on another one. :iagree: Just stick around a while and you will see how things go around here......it's crazy man, just plumb freaking cRaZy!!!!!!

I think the money thing was a joke based on Sickies math thread of him making money by waisting time at work while reading 1Bad's story. He was commenting on three threads at once. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ... :lol: Cus I'm thinking "WTF? Dude's 5th post ever, and he's going on and on about how much he makes? Who gives a rat's tail!"

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ... :lol: Cus I'm thinking "WTF? Dude's 5th post ever, and he's going on and on about how much he makes? Who gives a rat's tail!" go easy on him Nee.....he's a noob!

go easy on him Nee.....he's a noob! Noob or no noob, you don't go around doing that! :lol: Seriously, if you're in conversation with a group of people (which is essentially what a forum is), and the 5th sentence out of your mouth is about how much money you make, people are gonna kinda be put off. BUT, I caught it out of context... In context, it's slightly better... .:dthumb:

Noob or no noob, you don't go around doing that! :lol: Seriously, if you're in conversation with a group of people (which is essentially what a forum is), and the 5th sentence out of your mouth is about how much money you make, people are gonna kinda be put off. BUT, I caught it out of context... In context, it's slightly better... .:dthumb: If you realize the begining of this blog was to throw people off. You didn't get what the original context was about. This Forum is for entertainment. I know people don't really care how much anyone makes on this site. You read a little to much into what I was typing. Seriously speaking. He got me with a long story that was made up. Get a grip. And who are you to say what I can or can't say. I just remember thinking that it was so well played that I read the entire thing when I could have been working. It's like stealing from the company. And then he made a comment about it and it went from there. So I wasn't going on and on without encouragement.

I think the money thing was a joke based on Sickies math thread of him making money by waisting time at work while reading 1Bad's story. He was commenting on three threads at once. Don't sweat it rlyoung:dthumb: The threads here can get a little off topic sometimes and a lot of us are on computers all day, so we check in often, so:welcome: :twfrox: The best thing to do when you're responding to someone's comments is to click on the "quote" button so they remember what you're reffering to. I know I'm on several threads at once and can forget what I said on another one. Thanks for the information about the quote button SDog30. I'm relatively new to this site. I see some people here get offended quick. I wonder if he talks with that same tongue when he is talking with someone in person. If so, I'll just pray for him<< oh oh, I'm off topic again. lol.. Can I mention my bike I have? I really miss it even though I'm getting enough excitement over here in Iraz..<< can I mention that without offending anyone?

I to make mistakes.. saeth the master. 5 more hours of entertainment here.

I to make mistakes.. saeth the master. 5 more hours of entertainment here. Iraq huh, what branch of the military are you in or are you a civilian?

If you realize the begining of this blog was to throw people off. You didn't get what the original context was about. This Forum is for entertainment. I know people don't really care how much anyone makes on this site. You read a little to much into what I was typing. Seriously speaking. He got me with a long story that was made up. Get a grip. And who are you to say what I can or can't say. I just remember thinking that it was so well played that I read the entire thing when I could have been working. It's like stealing from the company. And then he made a comment about it and it went from there. So I wasn't going on and on without encouragement. Also don't take anything on here to heart.....it's all love here :hug:

Also don't take anything on here to heart.....it's all love here :hug: I'm a Civilian contractor. Used to be in the Navy. Here come the Navy jokes. I'm at an Army base currently.

Actually it didn't cost my company money. My wasted time answering the blog actually gained my employer money because the company has to justify spending and if I'm wasting my time they get more money at the end of the year to justify man hours... Good post man.. I miss my bike. Plus I get a yearly raise. WOOOOOPPYYYYYY!!!!!! I learned from you my man because you threw me off with that long fake story. But as I said before, I did chuckl,, plus you are making me and the company I work for more money for me to waste my time. I don't know what to do with my GXR 750 06'. I feel the need to get the 1000 when I make it back to the states. That bike you have looks kind of clean, but it would draw too much attention in my hood and therefore someone would try me up. Women who are friends do not tell there friend that there husband is cheating because the wife usually thinks the friend wants the husb anyway and therefore she'd be considered a liar 1st, friend 2nd. http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b34/enigma2288/towelie.jpg What are we suppose to be talking about again? Got me... Last time I checked I was talking about how to get someone's girlfriend to pretend she was her sister to fulfill a sexual fantasy... Then everything just seemed to go crazy... If you realize the begining of this blog was to throw people off. You didn't get what the original context was about. This Forum is for entertainment. I know people don't really care how much anyone makes on this site. You read a little to much into what I was typing. Seriously speaking. He got me with a long story that was made up. Get a grip. And who are you to say what I can or can't say. I just remember thinking that it was so well played that I read the entire thing when I could have been working. It's like stealing from the company. And then he made a comment about it and it went from there. So I wasn't going on and on without encouragement. Encouragement? I was trying to be funny, but apparently I failed miserably... And to be techincal, wouldn't surfing the net regardless of content be like stealing from the company? Thanks for the information about the quote button SDog30. I'm relatively new to this site. I see some people here get offended quick. I wonder if he talks with that same tongue when he is talking with someone in person. If so, I'll just pray for him<< oh oh, I'm off topic again. lol.. Can I mention my bike I have? I really miss it even though I'm getting enough excitement over here in Iraz..<< can I mention that without offending anyone? I would assume you are still talking about me... and to be honest, I am very much censored on this forum... I am of a rare breed who does not give a flying F' what anyone thinks and will be more than happy to tell someone to their face exactly how I feel... good or bad... A lot of people say that and don't mean it... I happen to... That's probably why most people don't like me when the first meet me... but I grow on you... Like junk fungus... That's not the case here though... understand that it was simply a jocular comment not meaning to get anyone up in arms... Actually from the end of your first response to it I assumed you thought it was mildly amusing if not even funny... Then again, I could be completely misinterpreting again...:idk:

I'm a Civilian contractor. Used to be in the Navy. Here come the Navy jokes. I'm at an Army base currently. where at, i just left Tallil Air Base?

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b34/enigma2288/towelie.jpg http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b247/neebelung/rabbit_pancake.jpg

:cursin: what happened to this thread :cursin:

http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g189/DLIT_2006/ufo.gif

:cursin: what happened to this thread :cursin: :lol: It's gone on to greener pastures.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b34/enigma2288/towelie.jpg I would assume you are still talking about me... and to be honest, I am very much censored on this forum... I am of a rare breed who does not give a flying F' what anyone thinks and will be more than happy to tell someone to their face exactly how I feel... good or bad... A lot of people say that and don't mean it... I happen to... That's probably why most people don't like me when the first meet me... but I grow on you... Like junk fungus... That's not the case here though... understand that it was simply a jocular comment not meaning to get anyone up in arms... Actually from the end of your first response to it I assumed you thought it was mildly amusing if not even funny... Then again, I could be completely misinterpreting again...:idk: Alright, everyone settle down. rlyoung was actually refering to Nees comments she made to him. Rlyoung, Neebelung is a chick (a hot one at that). I think the confussion has come from rlyoung refferencing several comments in one post without quoting anything and I believe it was done in a humourous way. Now everyone is getting defensive and I think everyone was just trying to be humurous but misunderstood each other. Rlyoung knows how to quote and that problem should be all set now. Rlyoung...you can talk about anything you want on here (as long as it's kept PG-13, there's monitors) and this is a "Off Topic" thread section, so that usually means the topics that get brought up are off the topic of motorcycles and riding. If you were to throw something out that had nothing to do with the thread (like how you feel about your bike in a story thread about cheating on your wife) it's considered hijacking the thread and generally frowned upon, but does happen (like Nee's question about fantasizing) but usually that is spun off of something said in the thread. If you wanted to bring up your own topic, you can start a thread. If the main subject is being in Iraq and mssing your bike, post it here in the "Off Topic" section. If you have a question, post it in the beginer's section. Have a comment about your perticular bike, post it in that manufacturer's post. It's all good and we know your a :noob: to the forum. Try not to take anything personal and just know that we BS a lot on here and break each-others balls but in fun, light-hearted way. We don't care about show-boatin' and everyone is very serious about riding and strong on safety, always, so don't be surprised if you get called out on something. I hoped that helped.:idk: And again:welcome: :twfrox: :luck: p.s.- smilies rock:dthumb:

Alright, everyone settle down. rlyoung was actually refering to Nees comments she made to him. Rlyoung, Neebelung is a chick (a hot one at that). I think the confussion has come from rlyoung refferencing several comments in one post without quoting anything and I believe it was done in a humourous way. Now everyone is getting defensive and I think everyone was just trying to be humurous but misunderstood each other. Rlyoung knows how to quote and that problem should be all set now. Rlyoung...you can talk about anything you want on here (as long as it's kept PG-13, there's monitors) and this is a "Off Topic" thread section, so that usually means the topics that get brought up are off the topic of motorcycles and riding. If you were to throw something out that had nothing to do with the thread (like how you feel about your bike in a story thread about cheating on your wife) it's considered hijacking the thread and generally frowned upon, but does happen (like Nee's question about fantasizing) but usually that is spun off of something said in the thread. If you wanted to bring up your own topic, you can start a thread. If the main subject is being in Iraq and mssing your bike, post it here in the "Off Topic" section. If you have a question, post it in the beginer's section. Have a comment about your perticular bike, post it in that manufacturer's post. It's all good and we know your a :noob: to the forum. Try not to take anything personal and just know that we BS a lot on here and break each-others balls but in fun, light-hearted way. We don't care about show-boatin' and everyone is very serious about riding and strong on safety, always, so don't be surprised if you get called out on something. I hoped that helped.:idk: And again:welcome: :twfrox: :luck: p.s.- smilies rock:dthumb: :yup:

:sorry: It was so long. Just trying to straighten it out on all sides.:dthumb:

:sorry: It was so long. Just trying to straighten it out on all sides.:dthumb: It was spot on... There was a major breakdown in communication...

:sorry: It was so long. Just trying to straighten it out on all sides.:dthumb: :lol: I've learned (having particpated in more than a few women-only forums, where cat-fights are commonplace, and sometimes encouraged) that there IS no pleasing everyone.

:lol: I've learned (having particpated in more than a few women-only forums, where cat-fights are commonplace, and sometimes encouraged) that there IS no pleasing everyone. Well, you just pleased me by looking at your avitar...if you know what I mean.:wink:

Well, you just pleased me by looking at your avitar...if you know what I mean.:wink: :lol: Ah, I figured it was time for the "Daily pic of Neebs boobs." (and thank you.. :wink: )

:lol: Ah, I figured it was time for the "Daily pic of Neebs boobs." (and thank you.. :wink: ) ahhhh :cursin: :cursin: no fair :cry: I wanna see , I wanna, I wanna

ahhhh :cursin: :cursin: no fair :cry: I wanna see , I wanna, I wanna Too late. I already took 'em down, and have cancelled "Neeb's Daily Boob" pic until further notice. (Ask Upshift... he'll tell ya why :wink: )

Too late. I already took 'em down, and have cancelled "Neeb's Daily Boob" pic until further notice. (Ask Upshift... he'll tell ya why :wink: ) He's on my big wennie list right now!

Alright, everyone settle down. rlyoung was actually refering to Nees comments she made to him. Rlyoung, Neebelung is a chick (a hot one at that). I think the confussion has come from rlyoung refferencing several comments in one post without quoting anything and I believe it was done in a humourous way. Now everyone is getting defensive and I think everyone was just trying to be humurous but misunderstood each other. Rlyoung knows how to quote and that problem should be all set now. Rlyoung...you can talk about anything you want on here (as long as it's kept PG-13, there's monitors) and this is a "Off Topic" thread section, so that usually means the topics that get brought up are off the topic of motorcycles and riding. If you were to throw something out that had nothing to do with the thread (like how you feel about your bike in a story thread about cheating on your wife) it's considered hijacking the thread and generally frowned upon, but does happen (like Nee's question about fantasizing) but usually that is spun off of something said in the thread. If you wanted to bring up your own topic, you can start a thread. If the main subject is being in Iraq and mssing your bike, post it here in the "Off Topic" section. If you have a question, post it in the beginer's section. Have a comment about your perticular bike, post it in that manufacturer's post. It's all good and we know your a :noob: to the forum. Try not to take anything personal and just know that we BS a lot on here and break each-others balls but in fun, light-hearted way. We don't care about show-boatin' and everyone is very serious about riding and strong on safety, always, so don't be surprised if you get called out on something. I hoped that helped.:idk: And again:welcome: :twfrox: :luck: p.s.- smilies rock:dthumb: Outstanding. http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g189/DLIT_2006/handclap.gif

He's on my big wennie list right now! And that's one of your favorite lists, right? http://i56.photobucket.com/albums/g189/DLIT_2006/thkelso_burn.gif

DAmn And I was going to ask for lisa's number.....

damn good dream. sounds more like a warning.....

damn good dream. sounds more like a warning..... If you ask Nee, it is........:readng:

If you ask Nee, it is........:readng: :lol:

:lol: I figured you would like that. :dthumb:

I figured you would like that. :dthumb: and I love your avatar!! Look how cute and innocent you were!!

I was like 17yrs old.....that was my senior yearbook photo! My 20yr H.S. renuion is next year. I may have changed just a little bit over the years :idk: