Things stressed-out women say at work....

:lol: Ok, so some of these could just as easily be uttered by men, but since the title says "women" I'll post it in the girl's corner. :dthumb: (#1 quite literally had me choking with laughter.... ) Things Stressed Women Say at Work 1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unf**k you. 2. You say I'm a b*tch like it's a bad thing. 3. Well this day was a total waste of make up 4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine? 5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after. 6. Do I look like a people person? 7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting. 8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left. 9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. 10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control? 11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years. 12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer. 13. Do they ever shut up on your planet? 14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable. 15. Stress is what you have when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet. 16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura. 17. Don't worry, I forgot your name too. 18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor. 19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. 20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 21. Chaos, panic and disorder...my work here is done. 22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no. 23. You look like sh*t. Is that the style now? 24. Earth is full. Go home. 25. Aw, did I step on your poor itty bitty little ego? 26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. 27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth. 28. You are depriving some village of an idiot. 29 If a**holes could fly, this place would be an airport! 30. Look in my eyes...do you see one ounce of gives-a-sh*t? 31. I've had a bad day, DLIT. Take me out for drinks and shag the hell out of me. Then go home, no strings attatched.

:BAHA: These are sooo me!! 6. Do I look like a people person? 11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years. 12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer. 13. Do they ever shut up on your planet? 15. Stress is what you have when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet. ( I HAVE THIS SIGN ON MY DESK!! :lol:) 17. Don't worry, I forgot your name too. 26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. 30. Look in my eyes...do you see one ounce of gives-a-sh*t?

13. Do they ever shut up on your planet? 17. Don't worry, I forgot your name too. 30. Look in my eyes...do you see one ounce of gives-a-sh*t? Those are all very ME too... :lol:

30. Look in my eyes...do you see one ounce of gives-a-sh*t? I will be using that often....:lol:

theres one they forgot... "And this makes it my problem How??"

18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor. This is me.

:omg: :BAHA: :BAHA: :BAHA: :slol: :slol: :lol: Ok, so some of these could just as easily be uttered by men, but since the title says "women" I'll post it in the girl's corner. :dthumb: (#1 quite literally had me choking with laughter.... ) Things Stressed Women Say at Work 1. Okay, okay! I take it back. Unf**k you. 2. You say I'm a b*tch like it's a bad thing. 3. Well this day was a total waste of make up 4. Well, aren't we a damn ray of sunshine? 5. Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after. 6. Do I look like a people person? 7. This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting. 8. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left. 9. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. 10. Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control? 11. I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years. 12. Sarcasm is just one more service I offer. 13. Do they ever shut up on your planet? 14. I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable. 15. Stress is what you have when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet. 16. Back off!! You're standing in my aura. 17. Don't worry, I forgot your name too. 18. I work 45 hours a week to be this poor. 19. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead. 20. Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 21. Chaos, panic and disorder...my work here is done. 22. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no. 23. You look like sh*t. Is that the style now? 24. Earth is full. Go home. 25. Aw, did I step on your poor itty bitty little ego? 26. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. 27. A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth. 28. You are depriving some village of an idiot. 29 If a**holes could fly, this place would be an airport! 30. Look in my eyes...do you see one ounce of gives-a-sh*t?

theres one they forgot... "And this makes it my problem How??" :lol: :clap: Ohhhh soooo true....

why does #11 sound like its from a movie???

3. Well this day was a total waste of make up i totally use this one except mine goes more like "well this day was a total waste of a good outfit". :dthumb:

28. You are depriving some village of an idiot.:cheers: My favorite! Or maybe 24. Earth is full. Go home.:dthumb:

my motto in high school (yes I was an angry teen) was: "why dont you just fall off my planet??" :lol:

The ladies in my workplace send you many thanks for the laughs. :dthumb:

I use several of those often. :lol:

:lol: Where's the one that says..."I've had a bad day, DLIT. Take me out for drinks and shag the hell out of me. Then go home, no strings attatched" God, I love hearing that. So what if I'm dreaming.

:lol: Where's the one that says..."I've had a bad day, DLIT. Take me out for drinks and shag the hell out of me. Then go home, no strings attatched" :sorry: I apologize for the oversight. I've corrected it. :dthumb:

:sorry: I apologize for the oversight. I've corrected it. :dthumb: :lol: I repped you already today though. Only if I could go back in time...

:lol: I repped you already today though. Only if I could go back in time... :dthumb: You can tag me tomorrow.

:dthumb: You can tag me tomorrow. :yikes:

:yikes: :bash: :lol: You know very well that's not what I meant!! :lol:

:bash: :lol: You know very well that's not what I meant!! :lol: You know it's what you meant. (Dice Clay voice) Ohh!

You know it's what you meant. (Dice Clay voice) Ohh! Sssshhhh.... that was supposed to be our lil secret! :wink: :lol:

Did your mother ever have any children that lived?

Did your mother ever have any children that lived? WTF.

I have never heard these, it's also been about a couple months since the last time I saw a woman in my office building here for working purposes. Ah the life of a field engineer, nothing but contractors, electricians, techies, and other skilled laborers.....

WTF. That's what people say when you ask them that question. I got verbally reprimanded once for saying that to someone else's staff member who was annoying the hell out of me over something trivial.

That's what people say when you ask them that question. I got verbally reprimanded once for saying that to someone else's staff member who was annoying the hell out of me over something trivial. Understood.

Didn't mean to offend anyone with my remark. I left management after 20 years because I was becoming "politically incorrect" and didn't give a damn...just told it like I saw it. I can't mollycoddle people who are a total waste of space.

Didn't mean to offend anyone with my remark. I left management after 20 years because I was becoming "politically incorrect" and didn't give a damn...just told it like I saw it. I can't mollycoddle people who are a total waste of space. Duly noted...no apologies required, those are probably the same people who are parasites on this planet.

OMG hahahaa those are hilarious all so true too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!