The official IS/IT guy stories

I was talking to N4S about this the other night. Let's hear some funny stories from you IT guys... :bash: Stuff like my mouse doesn't work and after an hour on the phone you figure out that the a-hole never plugged it in!! :cursin: Ya know stuff like that!!! :dthumb:

these will take some time to write up,as you have to get the entire gist of the call to make it really funny. but one of the classic one liners that makes u realize you are dealing with a genious on the phone is: Me:Tech Support this is matt, how can I help you? Customer:Yes, I cant get onto the net.. Me: Ok, what version of windows do you have? Customer: I have the newest version, windows millenium professional edition 2000.. :confused: :crazy: its all down hill from there..

:wtf: is that *****!!! Well, I'm waiting to be laughed off my PC chair...

OK here we go...tech is me and office is person on line. Tech:"Hello, this is Tech support. How may I help you?" Office:"Hi, I'm having a serious problem with my computer." Tech:"Can you please describe it to me?" Office:"Yes, I need to copy some files to my computer from a CD, but there seems to be no CD drive at the tower box." I immediately thought there was no way for her computer not to have a cdrom drive, as we had recently checked all the pcs for possible hardware errors and mising parts. Tech:"Can you look at the front of the tower? There have to be 3 buttons, one for the power, one for reset and one more smaller button, above the others." Office:"Yes, I can see them." Tech:"Press that small button. Does it do anything?" Office:"Yes" Tech:"So, that's your CD rom drive.." Office:"Oh, really? I thought this was a stand for my coffee cup"...

Hey that's not a true story that's a email funny.... :wtf:

I had a woman blame me because her modem didn't work. I knew she was an IT idiot so I went the extra mile and held her hand through everything... how it worked, why etc. (She was getting ready to travel). She's gone, at her hotel and raises holy hell because her modem doesn't work. Seems I neglected to tell her that she had to PLUG IN THE PHONE LINE to the modem. :skep: Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but if you're using the phone line for ANYTHING... wouldn't common sense tell you it needs to be plugged in? You don't have to know lickety split about computers to realize that. What an idiot.

Hey that's not a true story that's a email funny.... :wtf: It had to happen to someone to become an email funny. :D

True story..happens more often than you think Me..Tech support this is matt... customer...yes, my computer screen is black, i cant type anything, i dont see a mouse or a cursor, and theres no lights on my tower, why wont my interenet work? me..did you turn on your computer? customer...uumm, well no???!!! :screwy: :screwy:

:wtf: :wtf::wtf: :wtf::wtf: :wtf::wtf: :wtf::wtf: :wtf: :lol: :lol::lol: :lol::lol: :lol::lol: :lol::lol: :lol::lol: :lol:

:wtf: no love for my thread!!! Come on N4S, I know there are tons of stupid PA people that keep calling you with stupid questions and problems!!

Well I know Matt has told me already that as soon as he answers, the adult sometimes hands the phone over to children, because they end up knowing more than the parent. :skep: So not only does he have to talk to 8-year-olds, but he has to help them spell and everything! :lol:

Not funny, dumb: I work Ecommerce and I get a large number of emails containing both social security numbers and credit card numbers. Suffice it to say, I have a standard email response that tells them they just sent their private info insecurely.

A reverse angle: Every time I call customer support with a problem I get, "Reboot Windows." Now, being an IT person already, don't you think I already tried that you moron? :rant:

Well I know Matt has told me already that as soon as he answers, the adult sometimes hands the phone over to children, because they end up knowing more than the parent. :skep: So not only does he have to talk to 8-year-olds, but he has to help them spell and everything! :lol: you'd be surprised how many adults cant spell "command" either. i talk to people Every day, i tell them.. click on start, run, type in command, and click OK. they tell me, inevitably, it says windows cannot find "comand", I say, "spell it with 2 m's" .........oooohhh, I got it now, :bash: :screwy: .. Where in the hell does these people graduate from???

I love that one. I talk to ppl all the time on the phone and when asked to reboot there computer, they tell me they just did....to bad they don't know I can see how long ago they last booted and how long there modem has been online. LOL :D

thats the best.. "yes sir, can you reboot your modem for me please" "I just did that while I was on hold" "well sir, it shows here that your modem hasnt been rebooted in 29 days!!!!!" oh, ok, well, I thought I just did it, but i'll do it again just to be safe" , then they proceed to change the subject.. :lol: :lol:

I love those calls. You catch them in a lie and they try to talk about something different. :D

I never reboot my modem....unless I have a problem with the internet...what's that suppose to do??

I never reboot my modem....unless I have a problem with the internet...what's that suppose to do?? the modems sometimes lose the lease on their IP address if they are left online for long periods of time, or the nic can lose its lease on its IP..a simple reboot fixes many things. if u notice ur speeds are alittle sluggish, unplug ur modem for a couple minutes, plug it back in and reboot. of course it doesnt fix everything, but somethings for sure. :)

That's the only time I do reboot it!!

I was talking to N4S about this the other night. Let's hear some funny stories from you IT guys... :bash: Stuff like my mouse doesn't work and after an hour on the phone you figure out that the a-hole never plugged it in!! :cursin: Ya know stuff like that!!! :dthumb: I hate talking to customers. I make my intern do it for me. :dthumb:

I hate talking to customers. I make my intern do it for me. :dthumb: BAWHAHAHAHA!!!! :lol:

I hate talking to customers. I make my intern do it for me. :dthumb: Mine can't, she's usually got her mouth full ;)

I hate talking to customers. I make my intern do it for me. :dthumb: http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/Lobby/5671/apathy.jpg

I hate talking to customers. I make my intern do it for me. :dthumb: Best way to do it. Train him or her good Twisty. :dthumb:

Intern...yeah right!! Who would be so stupid to sign up for that job!!

He does my dirty work...

wait, gas man is your intern ???? :lol: :lol:

I don't think so!!

I don't think so!! oh, my bad....yeah gas, im not sure you take working with the dumbest people on the planet and trying to explain to them what a ping is. u might have a coronary or reach thru the phone and kill them..

I can only imagine the crap you guys deal with. I know a pretty good amount about computers. I've self taught myself and for some reason a lot of people know this. Anyway, I've been asked some really stupid stuff.....dealing with it daily....would kill me!!

oh, my bad....yeah gas, im not sure you take working with the dumbest people on the planet and trying to explain to them what a ping is. u might have a coronary or reach thru the phone and kill them.. Yeah I can safely say that I would end up in jail someplace... :rant: :nono:

Not funny, dumb: I work Ecommerce and I get a large number of emails containing both social security numbers and credit card numbers. Suffice it to say, I have a standard email response that tells them they just sent their private info insecurely. i am not real tech litterate. what is ecommerce, like computer sales and such?

i am not real tech litterate. what is ecommerce, like computer sales and such? ecommerce is business & business' conducted over the internet..in a nutshell.. its alot more expansive than that, but thats the jist of it.

porn on the internet.....that's ecommerce....

ecommerce is business & business' conducted over the internet..in a nutshell.. its alot more expansive than that, but thats the jist of it. ohhhh. thanks, need4speed750. that makes it a little more clear to me now.

i am not real tech litterate. what is ecommerce, like computer sales and such? Specifically its consumer-to-business or business-to-business transactions involving money. Thus the (now) obvious tie to security.

and what a field that has blossomed into.. network security..WOW, talk about an upside!!!