Friend has cancer.

I know I don't post much on here and am still a newb in the 2 wheel world, but I am absolutely devastated and have to get this out. I'd post this on the automotive forum I frequent more often, but the person affected is on there and I don't want him to see it and feel bad. Anyway, this friend of mine recently had some liver issues and he was being treated for them. I thought he was going to be fine, it was a very treatable illness. He had said something about not being able to get out in the spring to various cruise-ins and I was concerned about that remark. I sent him a message, then had to go to some appointments. I was going to go home and see if there were any replies, but something told me to go directly to the cruise-in location instead, despite the bad weather we had this weekend. Well, he was the only one there. I sat down and he told me the absolute worst news I could ever imagine to hear. It turns out that his liver issues were present due to another problem. He has a tumor on his pancreas. It was very surreal sitting there listening to everything about the disease, possible treatments, what time he may/may not have left, getting affairs in order, his family, etc. He seemed so calm telling me, yet I just couldn't keep it together and hold it in. I cried, and I am crying now typing this. Now I've been through this with grandparents, remote family members, etc, but never with a friend. Nothing could have prepared me for this. I can't imagine how much harder it will be with my own parents some day. This whole thing has gotten me to think so much about life. Hearing him talk about life, regrets on not enjoying life more, letting stress get to him, etc, really has opened my eyes. I've been going through my own health issues and feel like a jack@ss for being upset about them when it is obvious someone else has much worse problems than I. Although I am still distraught over this, I feel somewhat better having gotten this out, to those of you who made it through my post this far, thank you for reading, and go hug the ones you love.

It is always hard to have someone close go through something like that. Love him hard and be there for him, just make sure you have someone to do that for you as well. Off to hug my dog.

sorry to hear about that one.... I went through this with my best friend...My older brother....last year... I was devistated. He was told he had a year to live. It was the worst day in my life to hear those words. So we went about our lives trying to make sure he had the best last year he could...:cry: Hopefully you buddy will fair better..... My brother died leaving his newly wed wife alone...luckily they didn't have any kids...or unluckily however you want to see it.. But it almost killed me... I'll pray for him...and you....:angelhap:

This is heart breaking news. One of my very good friends passed 4 years ago because of cancer in his spine. He was diagnosed and passed about 4 months later. We were out of touch when he heard the news, the next thing I heard about him was that he'd passed and I was asked to come to the funeral. My thoughts and prayers are with you!!

Thanks, guys. It choked me up inside to hear the news. This, compounded with the horrible VA Tech shootings today, just makes life seem awfully bleak right now. :( :nonod:

Off to hug my dog. I wish I had one here to hug. Hug him hard for me. :hug: I dog-sit frequently, but no 'doggie-clients' right now. They really do a good job of licking the tears away. :cry:

I know its hard to cope with a close friend having cancer, I've been there with my best friend's mom. Just be there for him and show him you care as a friend. to him, that will make all the difference in the world. tell him to keep looking at the bright side of life, and enjoy it as much as he can. oh, and there is nothing wrong with crying from time to time, we're human and therefore allowed to show such emotions now and then.

Sorry for the pain you have and will continue to experience. My Mom died 7-15-05 at 41 years old of cancer. It was truly the hardest thing i have ever had to hurdle, it gets better with time but the same time it doesn't. All I can say is hang in there and hopefully it will all pan out. Good Luck

Thanks, guys. Crying a bit less and accepting a bit more today... Feeling kind of anxious/nervous today though. Don't know if it's this new medicine I am on or if it's just being overwhelmed with these feelings. Wish there was a way to make it go away. I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin or something. :eek:

I feel for you and what you're going through... only advise I can offer you is to put your faith in God and pray they he will guide you through these hard times. :hug:

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I just went through the samething with my mother. Be strong, and keep the faith.

I feel for you and what you're going through... only advise I can offer you is to put your faith in God and pray they he will guide you through these hard times. :hug: :iagree:

so sorry to hear this news. you must try to be strong now for your friend's sake. :hug:

Just found out he goes in for surgery on Friday 4/27. :angelhap: for a miracle here.

Don't under estimate miracles or the fact that they actually do happen. I got my miracle last year, when I was diagnosed with cancer also. I had never had a health problem in my life- cancer didn't run in my family and It is still hard to believe to this day. So many people prayed for me- I never knew I had so many friends. After surgery to remove the tumor- I was told the cancer had not spread and was completely isolated. That I was 99.9% cured for life. This was the outcome of positive thinking and complete faith in God. Thats not to say the journey wasn't scary and extremely difficult. Radiation treatment was less then enjoyable... and the fear of not knowing is even worse. Just remember- Miracles are real. Try to stay positive- more people are beating cancer every year. God bless you and your friend- my prayers are with you both.

so sorry to hear this news. you must try to be strong now for your friend's sake. :hug: :iagree: but it will be tough.

My friend went into surgery yesterday...please keep him in your thoughts and prayers :angelhap:

will do. :hug:

Praying for a successful procedure, and hopefully some good news afterward.... :angelhap:

sorry to hear the bad news take care and we all will be praying for you and yours :angelhap:

Thanks guys and gals. :) I am so pizzed at myself though. My friend asked me for my contact info so that I could get updates, which I gave. Stupid me didn't think to suggest that I get his daughter's contact info as well. I haven't heard anything yet but I am sure she is much more occupied being by his side right now. I can't stand not knowing if he came through OK. :willy: Guess I will need to learn some patience... :(

Finally got an update: "All, Dad had his surgery on Friday. He is resting comfortably and will be meeting with the surgeon tomorrow morning. I will provide additional updates once the Dr. has spoken with Dad. Thank you all for your prayers and good wishes. Kind regards, Robin" Wish I knew more, but glad he got through the surgery. :angelhap:

Cancer is never a good time... but glad things are going well thus far... take care and vent as much as ya need... :hug:

Glad every thing went well :luck:

Well, my friend is home from the hospital already :yikes: Dayam, they really like to kick people out fast. Anyway, I got an email from him last night. Apparently they were not able to remove the tumor since it rests on a major vein. His only hope now is chemotherapy which should give him 6-9 months. Without the chemo it would only be 2-3 months. He has chosen to fight and to go ahead with the chemo, thank God. At some point it won't be treatable anymore, so he is getting his affairs in order, savoring time with family and friends in the meantime. I've gone from being devastated to hopeful, to devastated again. I spent all last night crying. I am beside myself with sadness. But I must keep :angelhap: and keep trying to be hopeful... Thanks, guys, for letting me get this off my chest.

that is really unfortunate news. i can't imagine what your friend is feeling right now. i don't think i'd wanna know when my time is going to be up. i know what this feels like though, cancer has touched my family as well. just try to enjoy the time you get with your friend and don't dwell on the sadness...even though that is really tough. :hug:

Well, my friend is home from the hospital already :yikes: Dayam, they really like to kick people out fast. Anyway, I got an email from him last night. Apparently they were not able to remove the tumor since it rests on a major vein. His only hope now is chemotherapy which should give him 6-9 months. Without the chemo it would only be 2-3 months. He has chosen to fight and to go ahead with the chemo, thank God. At some point it won't be treatable anymore, so he is getting his affairs in order, savoring time with family and friends in the meantime. I've gone from being devastated to hopeful, to devastated again. I spent all last night crying. I am beside myself with sadness. But I must keep :angelhap: and keep trying to be hopeful... Thanks, guys, for letting me get this off my chest. My grandma had pancreatic cancer and was given 2-4 weeks WITH Chemo.... she died 3 years 5months and 5 days later... the doctor said he couldn't explain it... other than to say her will to live and her heart were just too strong. I'm not trying to get your hopes up... but crazier things have happened. good luck!:luck:

that is really unfortunate news. i can't imagine what your friend is feeling right now. i don't think i'd wanna know when my time is going to be up. i know what this feels like though, cancer has touched my family as well. just try to enjoy the time you get with your friend and don't dwell on the sadness...even though that is really tough. :hug: I was discussing that with a friend last night...what is worse, knowing when your time is up so you can savor what you have left (but also being upset about "the end" coming)....or being taken quickly so you don't know what hit you (not having to deal with the pain of knowing when your time is up but no chance of saying 'goodbye' to the people in your life)??? :idk: I struggle with the answer to this. My grandma had pancreatic cancer and was given 2-4 weeks WITH Chemo.... she died 3 years 5months and 5 days later... the doctor said he couldn't explain it... other than to say her will to live and her heart were just too strong. I'm not trying to get your hopes up... but crazier things have happened. good luck!:luck: Wow...what a miracle. She sounded like a real fighter. :angelhap: :thx2: everyone for your thoughtful replies.

I am glad you are home and resting well. Your daughter sent an email saying that you had gotten out of surgery and were recovering, but that you had not spoken to the surgeon yet. So this is the first I've heard about the tumor not being resectable. Although this isn't the news I was hoping for, I believe in your spirit. I am here for you whenever you need to vent about the chemo or how you're feeling. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers every day. I know you're still recovering from surgery, but please let me know if/when you can swing down here for the cruise-in, or if you're up for a visit. Take care and talk soon. Love, BC650R ********************************************************* Did I do OK?

Father, God bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full of your peace , prosperity, and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you. Amen

Father, God bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full of your peace , prosperity, and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you. Amen Reps to you for such a lovely prayer. :angelhap: :thx2: :dthumb:

Well, my friend is home from the hospital already :yikes: Dayam, they really like to kick people out fast. Anyway, I got an email from him last night. Apparently they were not able to remove the tumor since it rests on a major vein. His only hope now is chemotherapy which should give him 6-9 months. Without the chemo it would only be 2-3 months. He has chosen to fight and to go ahead with the chemo, thank God. At some point it won't be treatable anymore, so he is getting his affairs in order, savoring time with family and friends in the meantime. I've gone from being devastated to hopeful, to devastated again. I spent all last night crying. I am beside myself with sadness. But I must keep :angelhap: and keep trying to be hopeful... Thanks, guys, for letting me get this off my chest. I'm so sorry for you. I went through this with my brother a few years ago. I will have both of you in my prayers.:angelhap:

I am saddened to report that my friend died on 12/23/07. He really went through a lot with the cancer, but now he is with God. Sorry haven't been around much, but really have had a rough year. I hope 2008 is a better one. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. :angelhap:

I am saddened to report that my friend died on 12/23/07. He really went through a lot with the cancer, but now he is with God. Sorry haven't been around much, but really have had a rough year. I hope 2008 is a better one. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. :angelhap: i'm so sorry. :hug:

So sorry to hear this. I'm sure almost everyone here has been touched by cancer in some form.

I am saddened to report that my friend died on 12/23/07. He really went through a lot with the cancer, but now he is with God. Sorry haven't been around much, but really have had a rough year. I hope 2008 is a better one. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. :angelhap: Sorry to hear that... I hope things will improve for you and his friends and family as time goes on. I know nothing is gonna completely stop the hurt... but time does dull it a bit. RIP:nonod:

Sorry to hear that... I hope things will improve for you and his friends and family as time goes on. I know nothing is gonna completely stop the hurt... but time does dull it a bit. RIP:nonod: Couldn't have said it any better! Sorry!

I am saddened to report that my friend died on 12/23/07. He really went through a lot with the cancer, but now he is with God. Sorry haven't been around much, but really have had a rough year. I hope 2008 is a better one. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. :angelhap: RIP. Keep your chin up, things always get worse before they get better...

I am really sorry to hear that :( Your friend is in a much better place now It is always very difficult when we lose someone we love. They are always in our hearts forever and one day you will meet again :)