jeeps84
04-05-2005, 10:29 AM
alittle somenton I stole from the net :whistle: :lol:
The North has coffee houses, The South has
Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services, The South has
family reunions.
The North has double last names, The South has
double first names.
The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits.
The North has green salads, The South has
collard greens.
The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads.
FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH:
In the South: If you run your car into a ditch,
don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive
pickup truck with a tow chain will be along
shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out
of their way. This is what they live for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and
bait in the same store.......do not buy food at
this store.
Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is
plural, and "all y'all's' is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here,
are ya?"
Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be
instructed later on how to use it.
Don't be worried at not understanding what
people are saying. They can't understand you either.
The first Southern statement to creep into a
transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the
adjective "big'ol," truck or "big'ol" boy. Most
Northerners begin their Southern- influenced
dialect this way. All of them are in denial
about it.
The proper pronunciation you learned in school
is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid
defense here.
If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all,
watch this," you should stay out of the way.
These are likely to be the last words he'll ever
say.
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds
own their own shotguns, they are proficient
marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.
In the South, we have found that the best way to
grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it
and call it a driveway.
AND REMEMBER:
If you do settle in the South and bear children,
don't think we will accept them as Southerners.
After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven,
we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when
you can get the milk for free". Here's an update
for you.
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why?
Because women realize it's not worth buying an
entire Pig, just to get a little sausage...