eHarmony = eJoke = eSingle

I know this is the ladies area where we need to discuss ladies motorcycle topics, but I since hair spray, tampons and the such have been discussed, I thought I'd throw this out there and get some opinions. Ok ladies, I know we've all been there. Just out of a relationship (ok so 8 months isn't recent) no dates lined up, and the dates that you do have lined up you know are going to be just as bad as the last few. Now, I'm not big on Internet dating. Hell, I've never done it before period. There are to many weirdos out there. You never know if you're talking to the person in the picture or a 12 yr old boy?!! And well, since I live in an area where there isn't much night life (ok there's NO night life) I went the safe route, or so I thought, and joined this eHarmony thing. First off, it costs an arm and a leg! For a few months membership it'll run you $80+!! You fill out this profile that takes at least an hour and they match you up with the people that you have most in common with. They also ask you certain questions like, "What will you not tolerate in a relationship?" and they give you choices to chose from like, drugs, drinking etc etc.. Well one of them is children. Now I know it sounds strange to other women that this one woman, aka me, will not date someone with kids. I have my reasons for not wanting them nor wanted to date someone with kids. This is what makes me mad. ALL of the people this site has introduced me to HAVE KIDS! WTH?! I made it perfectly clear that I will not date someone with children. Also, I made it clear that I will not give up my bike for anything or any one. Period. The people that I have talked to told me that the first thing I would have to do is get rid of my bike!! UM NO!! lol I'm at a loss! I don't know what to do any more. I think that I'm ready to give myself to someone full time, but this is the crap that I'm running into. The dates I have been on turned out to be a total joke. When I make it perfectly clear that I do not kiss, and I don't mean just on the first date, I mean ever, these guys go out of there way to try anyway! lol Not only that but most of them have lied about their marital status. They say they're single and once I'm out on a date with them, they reveal that they're married!! :yikes: Then they say the typical "Well, it's been over for years." And ask if I have a problem with it?! Well, DUH!! YES!! Of course I would! what a bunch of dopes!! :tt: :bash: UGH! Really, I think I'm going to give up. The people I'm meeting are either married, liars, or trying to get in my pants, which is NOT going to happen. No matter how long it's been I will not put out. :lol: What is it that I'm doing wrong? Am I asking to much or what? Some one that loves bikes, has one of their own and not married and no kids.. lol I really don;t think that's to much to ask for...

Alright Jappy...I'm no lady but I'm gonna throw my :2cents: in... this site sounds whack. The first thing that comes to my mind is someone gets ahold of you...you say I have a bike...they say..."bike must go". :wtf:???? How does anyone think they can tell someone else that they can't ride or whatever? I guess it's different for people who ride? I would love if my girl rode.

don't give up yet, jappy. there is someone out there for everyone, yadda yadda yadda and all the other cliches. but seriously...you may hafta relax your standards a bit, and i don't mean give up the bike. you and i are relatively the same age, and chances are that men in their 30s have already been married at least once and may have children. that will probably be something you encounter more often than not. have you thought about trying match.com? that's the one dr. phil is linked with. i looked on it for my area just out of curiosity (a girl has to have a fall back plan) to see what was out there and saw many attractive fellas in their 30s/40s. i was surprised. just keep being yourself and someone will come along, probably when you are not expecting it. you are a beautiful woman with lots of spirit. it'll happen for ya. my mom was widowed 3 years ago at the age of 50, my dad passed away from a car accident. she placed a personal ad in the local merchandiser and met with 2 fellas before meeting her current husband. they have been happily married for almost 2 years now. let that be inspiration to you. you can find love in the most unlikely places. you just might hafta kiss (theoretically) a few frogs first. hang in there! :hug: :dthumb:

I know about the kid thing and my age group. I have reasons why I don't date guys with kids. One of the main reasons are that I'm the "fly by the seat of your pants" kinna girl, and men that have kids can't be that way. They have to get baby sitters etc etc.. not only that, no matter if they are divorced, if they have children the ex wife/gf will remain in the picture no matter what. I've encountered enough ex wifes/gf/fiancés in my life that I want nothing to do with it any more. Also, I don't like kids. I like um around for a few hours max, then they need to go home.. lol :lol: I tried Match.com and it was almost just as bad. One thing I wont do is lie about who I am and what gets me going, like the bike. But it seems that men think that I'm only riding to prove a point or to show off. They seem to be threatened by it. Why I don't know... I guess for now I'll just be single. It sucks, it's lonely and I really dislike it, but since I refuse to compromise (hell, I settled for 6 yrs) then I guess I'm outta luck for now.. **sigh** AKK this is depressing! I'm taking the girl (aka bike) out! :runaway:

Weird, how old are the guys you are dating, because I think it is hot when a girl rides a bike. The kids thing is a little harsh, but understandable. They can be annoying little snots a lot, especially if you don't have any. Maybe shan needs a dating subforum so you single sportbikers can meet other single sportbikers.

That's just because you haven't met my kids...:lol: Some days...they make me want to run away from home... Just relax and don't worry so much...Of course, you might want to consider leaving "Bowl of Greens" Kentucky...:wink: :lol:

I understand where you're coming from in regards to the kids, and I don't think you should compromise there. That would be a mistake. There are childfree organizations that you could look into. Are there any major metropolitan areas nearby that would enable you to broaden your horizons? The kissing thing is kinda wierd, tho. :2cents:

What do you mean, you don't kiss ever? It's gonna be hard to sustain a relationship if you don't show affection. Kissing is great. You don't need to kiss the guy on the first second or even third date, but to say that you never kiss is crazy. I mean if you say that to a total clown, that's fine. but what if you do meet a nice guy, you're not gonna kiss him?

Kids are great! As long as I can give'em back to their parents. :luck: with your endeavors Jappsy. I think our age group is the hardest to make new relations. Were young enough to have our minds set on how we want to live. Old enough to know better but still make play time and try to live that life. The youngns can and will change while the old foggies just know better and deal with it. Just do the things you enjoy and don't miss an opportunity to meet new peps.

FYI. I like older women.

i don't envy you, jappy. it's tough trying to find love at our age. where do you go to look? we're almost too old to hit the bars trolling for guys, and that leaves absolutely nowhere else to look. if you go looking in singles clubs and such, they are filled with much older people. i wouldn't know where to look for someone my age, thankfully i don't have to. there is definately a shortage of places for the 30 somethings to go meet people. at least your bike is a good conversation starter. just don't get discouraged. once you take the thought that you have failed, you own that thought. then no matter what happens, you have it set in your subconscious that it'll never work out and you'll end up jeopardizing any opportunities you get. chin up, there are guys out there. you'll get your share. how'd you meet the ex?

I totally missed the whole no kissing part. Wow, good luck finding any guy that would agree with those terms, well unless you do other things often to make up for it.

hey girl, dont let it get you down!!:hug: the kids thing I understand, i think i go through phases, sometimes i like them, sometimes they make my skin crawl, no offense to those with kids, i would never harm a kid or anything, i just prefer not to spend alot of time with them... I think alot of men are really threatened by women who know exactly what they want, like you, me, and the other ladies around here, and the ones who are saying that "the bike has to go" are prob so insecure they arent worth speaking to. The good ones are out there, one day he will just pop up and BAM:bonk: ya wont know what hit ya!! As for the kissing thing, that may make it a lil harder, but (i think) like you, I am not a physically affectionate person either and I prefer to never be touched...ever. I love my husband and he understands for the most part, there are the days when he just really needs to hug on me and love on me, i deal with it, (kinda like being mauled by a bear):lol: cuddling = :puke: but once you meet a guy, who loves you for you and how you already are, even if he wants things you dont, he can work around it, look at my hubby!! He is the most affectionate and loving guy ever and he married the "Ice Queen" (and yes, everyone, i am referred to by many people by that term, not just my hubby!!:lol: ) So, not trying to talk about myself, but if I am reading you right, you are not alone!!! And he is out there, he may not be Mr. Perfect, but he will be perfect for you, NEVER settle!! (besides, what man could ever be as perfect as us ladies!!! :lol:)

I totally missed the whole no kissing part. Wow, good luck finding any guy that would agree with those terms, well unless you do other things often to make up for it. :iagree: How do you feel about dry humping?

:iagree: How do you feel about dry humping? You see, that is why this is a ladies forum. (brown noseing for the ladies.....:whistle: ) I'll say this, on looks alone you shouldn't have any problem finding someone to date, but he kissing........I don't know about that one. Ice Queen AKA RaeRR, your a work of art. No touching, ever......:skep:

You see, that is why this is a ladies forum. (brown noseing for the ladies.....:whistle: ) I'll say this, on looks alone you shouldn't have any problem finding someone to date, but he kissing........I don't know about that one. Ice Queen AKA RaeRR, your a work of art. No touching, ever......:skep: hmmm, not sure whether to be offended or not... :tt: read the context, i said i "prefer" to never be touched, you cant be married as long as i have and not be affectionate with your significant other, silly boy!!! I am just not one of those girls that those that run, hug, kissy thing...i am just very aware of my own personal space and prefer to not be cuddled and stuff...not that i dont ever:skep: its all about compromise...my hubby loves me, he gives me space, i love him, he gets cuddle time...both do our thang...get it now?

Do you like doing other things to make up for the no affection Rae? If that is too personal, don't answer it. I am just trying to comprehend this stuff. I couldn't handle a relationship with no affection. That would drive me bonkers, but then again I am an extremely horny person, but that is every guy. We are like the boy scouts, always prepared.

When I make it perfectly clear that I do not kiss, and I don't mean just on the first date, I mean ever, these guys go out of there way to try anyway! The people I'm meeting are either married, liars, or trying to get in my pants, which is NOT going to happen. No matter how long it's been I will not put out. Soooo, if I read this correctly you don't kiss and you never put out? Not being rude, just trying to understand because it seems like you literally meant NEVER EVER, like not even if you got married.... Which I'll tell you upfront is odd and I would totally be uninterested at that point. Which might be your problem, other than the whole liars, kids, married men thing.

It kinda seems like you want a friend more than a boyfriend. Someone who is there for you, but doesn't show you any affection... Of course if you need a good snogging now and then, like most of us, then you probably just a need a f**k buddy.

.. Maybe she just doesn't like kissing :) You guys should be jumpin all over this, cmon now, what guy really likes kissing? It's just something you HAVE to do to get where you want! I know I only really kiss my girlfriend because she likes it every now and then, not me, so really I just do it for her. Oh and good luck Jappy, and whoops I didn't mean to post in the women's forum :)

Here ya gohttp://www.bikerkiss.com/ Fess up..:tt: who in this forum is also in this site:tt:

Here ya gohttp://www.bikerkiss.com/ Fess up..:tt: who in this forum is also in this site:tt: :rofl: thats awesome, maybe it would help our our single friends!!

LOL just when I got ready to start typing I got a pop up for E harmony. LOL kinda ironic. Anyway, Yeah the kissing thing is kinda weird. I hate the whole huggy kissy hanging all over each other thing but no kissing at all would be kinda strange. Not that I couldn't get used to it. I would love to be in a relationship where I didn't feel I had to go out of my way to do things to show my affection. Hopefully after a while it isn't necessary and the other person will just know how I feel. Iam quite surprised by the number of ladies who said they don't really want kids. I don't either but its darn hard to find a girl who is willing to enter a relationship knowing that the guy doesn't want kids. The last few girls I have dated all thought (wrongly) that they were going to change my mind. I think kids are great. as long as at the end of the day they go home. Im also a fly by the seat of my pants kinda person. I like to just take off with no particular destination and see where I end up. Its fun living life that way. Kids put a huge damper on that lifestyle. I guess I would need more insight into what you mean by never kissing and never putting out. I mean otherwise its just a friend right? And NO ONE and I mean NO ONE has the right to tell you that you can't ride. Thats part of who you are. I wish there were girls around here who rode, I think its hot.

Do you like doing other things to make up for the no affection Rae? If that is too personal, don't answer it. I am just trying to comprehend this stuff. I couldn't handle a relationship with no affection. That would drive me bonkers, but then again I am an extremely horny person, but that is every guy. We are like the boy scouts, always prepared. hmmm, this is getting tough, you guys are so literal...i dont mind answering, its just kinda hard to explain...but i dont know that ya'll will understand anyway...i will PM you as i dont really feel like trying to explain to everyone... as for everyone else, for me anyway, its not that i dont give affection when needed, its just that it is not my natural preference...i.e. i love my husband, he knows i love him and when he needs affection i give it, as you say Vol, guys are always extremely horny, he doesnt do without what he needs, interpret that as you will...

hmmm, this is getting tough, you guys are so literal...i dont mind answering, its just kinda hard to explain...but i dont know that ya'll will understand anyway...i will PM you as i dont really feel like trying to explain to everyone... as for everyone else, for me anyway, its not that i dont give affection when needed, its just that it is not my natural preference...i.e. i love my husband, he knows i love him and when he needs affection i give it, as you say Vol, guys are always extremely horny, he doesnt do without what he needs, interpret that as you will... gotcha, no need to pm, that was personal. Just not something I am use to, I had a lot of very needy girlfriends. Too needy, my current one shows just the right amount of emotion.

too late, check your PM's...

Hey Rae, I really hope you were not offended. It appears like my little comment got everyone on your back now! I didn't mean for it to come off like that.....Jappy, good luck with the dating thing, stick to your guns and keep riding it like you stole it.......:rofl:

:scratch:

Hugs =ok Kissing =nice Naked showers together =very nice Playing in the shower =very very nice Making love to the most beautiful woman =Extremly nice Knowing without a shadow of a doubt your beautiful wife WILL never lie or cheat =PRICELESS You see being in love is more then SEX, SEX, SEX, and yes there was a time when thats how it was, but then you grow-up past that, and realize that you have your whole life to spend together doing what ever on a raining day. If you don't think you can handle that, then don't get married it's that simple. If you get married, then in time, things will settle. Some people can except it and others can not. For me i've had girls cheat on me, so the one main important part i was looking for in a wife is someone who will never do that to me. Like my wife said you have to compromise. She's beautiful, i promise i don't do without, and i got what i was looking for. I only hope she can say the same about me. :dthumb:

Hugs =ok Kissing =nice Naked showers together =very nice Playing in the shower =very very nice Making love to the most beautiful woman =Extremly nice Knowing without a shadow of a doubt your beautiful wife WILL never lie or cheat =PRICELESS You see being in love is more then SEX, SEX, SEX, and yes there was a time when thats how it was, but then you grow-up past that, and realize that you have your whole life to spend together doing what ever on a raining day. If you don't think you can handle that, then don't get married it's that simple. If you get married, then in time, things will settle. Some people can except it and others can not. For me i've had girls cheat on me, so the one main important part i was looking for in a wife is someone who will never do that to me. Like my wife said you have to compromise. She's beautiful, i promise i don't do without, and i got what i was looking for. I only hope she can say the same about me. :dthumb: uhh ok, was that directed at me?

no it wasn't directed to anyone, I just simply put it there for those who don't understand things of this nature.:cheers:

no it wasn't directed to anyone, I just simply put it there for those who don't understand things of this nature.:cheers: OK just checking because I didn't want to have to fly all the way back from Iraq to FL and let the air out of your tires.......:lol:

Have you posted any pictures of your bike on here?

:yikes: thats good, i wouldn't want to shoot you when you break into my garage... j/k:whistle: We lose enough military guys and girls over there in Iraq. Come back safe and life to ride.:cheers:

:iagree: How do you feel about dry humping? Ladies forum or not...that had me ROLLING :rofl3:

yea there are pics of my bike on the honda treads.

this thread has really been :jacked:

this thread has really been :jacked: Seriously. Doods ruin everything.

You see being in love is more then SEX, SEX, SEX, and yes there was a time when thats how it was, but then you grow-up past that, and realize that you have your whole life to spend together doing what ever on a raining day. If you don't think you can handle that, then don't get married it's that simple. If you get married, then in time, things will settle. I disagree... That is what love is to you. To some people it is non stop sex, others it may be not physical at all. Love is what we want to make of it. Strict morals usually clouds this from people. Also this grow up and mature thing is what boring people say when they forget how or never learned to have a good time.

ok, this is THE reason why I don't kiss any more. Yes at one time I did but because of what happened, I will no longer. I let one person get close to me, more then anyone ever could or would. And then he left. It messed me up. So I've made it a rule that kissing is out. It's to personal and I won't allow someone to ever get that close to me again. I know we've all had our hearts broken male and female, and I know I should be over it by now, but I"m not. To me kissing is more intimate then sex. It's like holding hands is more romantic then flowers and candle light. Leaning into someone and being able not to talk, just enjoy being near that person is more erotic then anything out there. As for the sex, or "putting out", I mean on the first date. Hell not even on the 5th date! I would like to be in something more serious before it goes that far. I'm old ppl, I'm not young and horny all the time like I was in my 20's. :lol: I'm far from a prude but I'm also not a ho. I feel that if you do the horizontal mambo with someone in the first week of meeting them, you basically lost all the fun part of courtship. Hell, leading up to the "act" itself is the best part. I mean, I don't rule out "look for the cannelloni" and "Is that really you boobs or a bra" game. :lol: I just don't want to "give it up" so soon. As for kids, honestly, I don't want any. Period. I've never had the desire to have them, nor will I ever. Like I said, kids are a blast for a few hours but then they get to go home. I don't dislike kids, I just don't want to be around them. Also, I'd rather not play second best to someones kids. I'm sorry if that sounds selfish, but I've always been second best to every guy I've dated and I refuse to ever be that again. So that's the deal.. :willy: As much as a head ache as it is.. Oh and DL the comment about "I like older women" cracked me the f**k up! I literally fell out of my chair!! Thanks! :dthumb: that made my morning!!

I bet she told ya'll didn't she.....:yikes: :lol:

:zowned:

Maybe shan needs a dating subforum so you single sportbikers can meet other single sportbikers. My BF and I met on SB.ws.... :lol: Totally unintentional, but we do joke that we met on the internet. :)

.. Maybe she just doesn't like kissing :) You guys should be jumpin all over this, cmon now, what guy really likes kissing? It's just something you HAVE to do to get where you want! I know I only really kiss my girlfriend because she likes it every now and then, not me, so really I just do it for her. Oh and good luck Jappy, and whoops I didn't mean to post in the women's forum :) I love makin out! I'm good at it.

I love makin out! I'm good at it. Every dood thinks he is the :king: of making out.

Oh and DL the comment about "I like older women" cracked me the f**k up! I literally fell out of my chair!! Thanks! :dthumb: that made my morning!! Thanks...I was serious. Older women know what they want. They don't play baby games. And the ones i have met know how to do the do. :wink:

Also this grow up and mature thing is what boring people say when they forget how or never learned to have a good time. actually i would have to disagree, and not just cuz my hubby said it...i have always been really mature for my age (aka Boring), he has always had a fun and young outlook and while yes we can be old boring married peoples the older we get the younger at heart I get!! i think being around him helps me to go out and have fun, we do more fun things now and enjoy life now waaayyyy more than when we first got married, even if we dont act like bunny rabbits!!! so as for the good time thing, every day baby!! as we talked in our Pm yesterday, everyone has a different idea of what the perfect person for them is...so i will just leave it at that... As for you jappy, you stick to your guns girl, dont change for anybody!! There is a guy waiting for you...maybe he will pull up next to you at a light on a killer bike and sweep you right up!!! :lol:

I love makin out! I'm good at it. +1 Makin' out is one of those things from our teen years that so many people forget about! Whether it's snuggled up on the couch, or in the car, or in a movie theatre, it's so highly erotic... just the build up and anticipation of what comes later, and the sheer closeness.... *sigh*

actually i would have to disagree, and not just cuz my hubby said it...i have always been really mature for my age (aka Boring), he has always had a fun and young outlook and while yes we can be old boring married peoples the older we get the younger at heart I get!! i think being around him helps me to go out and have fun, we do more fun things now and enjoy life now waaayyyy more than when we first got married, even if we dont act like bunny rabbits!!! so as for the good time thing, every day baby!! as we talked in our Pm yesterday, everyone has a different idea of what the perfect person for them is...so i will just leave it at that... I don't know if he is boring, I am just stating that comment about growing up and being mature is normally stated by people who don't want to have a good time. As bikers I like to think we all never really "grow up" and be "mature" because we are all willing to take the risk to be on the bike and not be responsible old farts.

ok, this is THE reason why I don't kiss any more. Yes at one time I did but because of what happened, I will no longer. I let one person get close to me, more then anyone ever could or would. And then he left. It messed me up. So I've made it a rule that kissing is out. It's to personal and I won't allow someone to ever get that close to me again. I know we've all had our hearts broken male and female, and I know I should be over it by now, but I"m not. To me kissing is more intimate then sex. It's like holding hands is more romantic then flowers and candle light. Leaning into someone and being able not to talk, just enjoy being near that person is more erotic then anything out there. As for the sex, or "putting out", I mean on the first date. Hell not even on the 5th date! I would like to be in something more serious before it goes that far. I'm old ppl, I'm not young and horny all the time like I was in my 20's. :lol: I'm far from a prude but I'm also not a ho. I feel that if you do the horizontal mambo with someone in the first week of meeting them, you basically lost all the fun part of courtship. Hell, leading up to the "act" itself is the best part. I mean, I don't rule out "look for the cannelloni" and "Is that really you boobs or a bra" game. :lol: I just don't want to "give it up" so soon. As for kids, honestly, I don't want any. Period. I've never had the desire to have them, nor will I ever. Like I said, kids are a blast for a few hours but then they get to go home. I don't dislike kids, I just don't want to be around them. Also, I'd rather not play second best to someones kids. I'm sorry if that sounds selfish, but I've always been second best to every guy I've dated and I refuse to ever be that again. So that's the deal.. :willy: As much as a head ache as it is.. Oh and DL the comment about "I like older women" cracked me the f**k up! I literally fell out of my chair!! Thanks! :dthumb: that made my morning!! This is like a huge contradiction... You want to be number 1 in a guys life, but you don't want to accept the responsibility of making him number 1 in your life... Like you said you don't want to be close with him, so maybe you should just stay single and have a good time. That way you won't risk anything again...

I don't know if he is boring, I am just stating that comment about growing up and being mature is normally stated by people who don't want to have a good time. As bikers I like to think we all never really "grow up" and be "mature" because we are all willing to take the risk to be on the bike and not be responsible old fart. bout time you got on here!! :lol: reading back to what he said (i just did that) he said you "grow past that"...i beleive he was referring to the evolution of a relationship...but i dont think he meant it in the context we both read it in...and yes there are those people who are the "grow up and be mature" type that are boring to tears, but i dont think we have any of those on here!! LOL, i dont think any biker could be considered boring since we all take the risk to get out there on 2 wheels!!! edit~ i am done with this thread, i keep getting off topic, sorry Japs!!

bout time you got on here!! :lol: reading back to what he said (i just did that) he said you "grow past that"...i beleive he was referring to the evolution of a relationship...but i dont think he meant it in the context we both read it in...and yes there are those people who are the "grow up and be mature" type that are boring to tears, but i dont think we have any of those on here!! LOL, i dont think any biker could be considered boring since we all take the risk to get out there on 2 wheels!!! edit~ i am done with this thread, i keep getting off topic, sorry Japs!! LOL, I had to go work. Yeah I went back an reread it. I did take it out of context a bit. I still think that what I said has some bearing to what was said. Some relationships never develop into that type of relationship and the people are perfectly content. It just all depends on your definition of love. It is especially clear if you look at other cultures.

This is like a huge contradiction... You want to be number 1 in a guys life, but you don't want to accept the responsibility of making him number 1 in your life... Like you said you don't want to be close with him, so maybe you should just stay single and have a good time. That way you won't risk anything again... I agree with this summation... Jappy, I don't mean it as a criticism, but it just seems like you might have some internal issues you need to work out/get over before you attempt to start a relationship (or even date) again. We've all had horrific things happen to us, and I'm sure we've all said, "I'm never dating again! I'm never letting someone in my heart again..." or something to that effect. Trust me, we've all been there...... :cry: But (I just had this conversation with my male roommate the other day), there's a time when you realize it's WORTH the risk, it's WORTH opening yourself up again.... what you get in return (when you let yourself love someone, and allow them to love you in return) makes it all worthwhile.

I agree with this summation... Jappy, I don't mean it as a criticism, but it just seems like you might have some internal issues you need to work out/get over before you attempt to start a relationship (or even date) again. We've all had horrific things happen to us, and I'm sure we've all said, "I'm never dating again! I'm never letting someone in my heart again..." or something to that effect. Trust me, we've all been there...... :cry: But (I just had this conversation with my male roommate the other day), there's a time when you realize it's WORTH the risk, it's WORTH opening yourself up again.... what you get in return (when you let yourself love someone, and allow them to love you in return) makes it all worthwhile. Thank you for putting it so much nicer than I can. I have trouble not being harsh.

LOL, I had to go work. Yeah I went back an reread it. I did take it out of context a bit. I still think that what I said has some bearing to what was said. Some relationships never develop into that type of relationship and the people are perfectly content. It just all depends on your definition of love. It is especially clear if you look at other cultures. no argument there, i think he was mainly explaining it, not saying others have to be that way, it brings into play that there is someone for everyone, and if you love someone, you do what needs to be done to keep the relationship...some people need the physical constantly and the relationship is based on that and feelings of love whereas some relationships are primarily non physical, more mental...but there is still the love there... i think that will also hold true for Jappy... I think i am reading her differently, i dont think she was saying she wants to be #1 and he wont be, i think maybe she meant she wants to be #1 and he will be her #1 but whoever she finds will have to accept her for who she is, we all carry baggage and when she finds someone who loves her in spite of what some people may think are weird traits, that someone will accomodate her needs and she will need to accomodate that persons needs in turn within her boundaries as she has already stated them so the person who gets into a relationship with her knows what to expect up front...at least she is letting people know whats what, and if that makes it more difficult, so be it, perhaps in time she can relent a little on some things as she sees fit... jappy, let me know if I am way off base here but i think thats mostly what you meant...

no argument there, i think he was mainly explaining it, not saying others have to be that way, it brings into play that there is someone for everyone, and if you love someone, you do what needs to be done to keep the relationship...some people need the physical constantly and the relationship is based on that and feelings of love whereas some relationships are primarily non physical, more mental...but there is still the love there... i think that will also hold true for Jappy... I think i am reading her differently, i dont think she was saying she wants to be #1 and he wont be, i think maybe she meant she wants to be #1 and he will be her #1 but whoever she finds will have to accept her for who she is, we all carry baggage and when she finds someone who loves her in spite of what some people may think are weird traits, that someone will accomodate her needs and she will need to accomodate that persons needs in turn within her boundaries as she has already stated them so the person who gets into a relationship with her knows what to expect up front...at least she is letting people know whats what, and if that makes it more difficult, so be it, perhaps in time she can relent a little on some things as she sees fit... jappy, let me know if I am way off base here but i think thats mostly what you meant... How I came to my conclusion is she said she would never let anyone that close again, but she wants his attentions solely on her. It just sounds like she wants him to risk everything, while she risks nothing on the relationship. And this crap about not settling is utterly bogus, nothing is perfect on this earth and you will have to compromise if you want to be in a lasting relationship. Not on the level of like making you get rid of your bike, but there will be some things you have to let go. Life is about sacrifice and the sooner people learn that, the better their life will be.

How I came to my conclusion is she said she would never let anyone that close again, but she wants his attentions solely on her. It just sounds like she wants him to risk everything, while she risks nothing on the relationship. And this crap about not settling is utterly bogus, nothing is perfect on this earth and you will have to compromise if you want to be in a lasting relationship. Not on the level of like making you get rid of your bike, but there will be some things you have to let go. Life is about sacrifice and the sooner people learn that, the better their life will be. :iagree: Once again, I could not agree more. Every relationship has it's ups and downs, and each person makes sacrifices in order to make things work. Relationships don't just fall in your lap, and work out perfectly with no effort... it takes work, each and every day. It takes compromise and consideration. But again, it's all worthwhile. The way I look at it, all the crappy boyfriends/girlfriends, all the psychos, all the jerks make you that much more appreciative of the right person when you find them. :hug:

Got baggage? Pack light.

Got baggage? Pack light. http://forums.randi.org/images/smilies/flags/VATICANCITY.gif

And this crap about not settling is utterly bogus, nothing is perfect on this earth and you will have to compromise if you want to be in a lasting relationship. Not on the level of like making you get rid of your bike, but there will be some things you have to let go. if its regarding to my "dont settle" I meant dont settle for some bum off the street that is going to treat you like trash, and i realize that we cant be treated like princesses all the time but we should be trated with respect and dignity by any person we are in a relationship with...not like a piece of property that is told what to do, when to do it, etc (as it seems she may have been treated previously)...i think this is one we are both basically agreeing on the main principles but coming at it from different areas, i am a huge advocate of compromise as i mentioned earlier...SO, i agree to respect your opinion (whatever it may be) and leave it at that...:hug:

if its regarding to my "dont settle" I meant dont settle for some bum off the street that is going to treat you like trash, and i realize that we cant be treated like princesses all the time but we should be trated with respect and dignity by any person we are in a relationship with...not like a piece of property that is told what to do, when to do it, etc (as it seems she may have been treated previously)...i think this is one we are both basically agreeing on the main principles but coming at it from different areas...SO, i agree to respect your opinion (whatever it may be) and leave it at that...:hug: I think she said at the beginning she would never settle, so it wasn't directed at you. Well getting treated like property or a piece of trash would fall into and above the getting rid of the bike category. I wouldn't expect anyone to settle for that.

I think she said at the beginning she would never settle, so it wasn't directed at you. Well getting treated like property or a piece of trash would fall into and above the getting rid of the bike category. I wouldn't expect anyone to settle for that. i edited my response a teensy bit, but we are pretty much saying many of the same things...just differently...as i said as well as nee, any relationship must have compromise...and I am sure jappy realizes that...

i edited my response a teensy bit, but we are pretty much saying many of the same things...just differently...as i said as well as nee, any relationship must have compromise...and I am sure jappy realizes that... Yeah that is what I meant, don't settle if they want you as a different person, but you can't be totally resistant to change if you want to make a relationship work.

Yeah that is what I meant, don't settle if they want you as a different person, but you can't be totally resistant to change if you want to make a relationship work. Can someone change Vol's user title to "Resident Dr. Phil" please? :lol:

Can someone change Vol's user title to "Resident Dr. Phil" please? :lol: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

:lol: Oh c'mon...... (I'm only kiddin' of course!)

Can someone change Vol's user title to "Resident Dr. Phil" please? :lol: oh i totally agree, but make it "Sometimes Angst Driven Dr. Phil"!!! :lol::lol:

:cursin:

oh i totally agree, but make it "Sometimes Angst Driven Dr. Phil"!!! :lol::lol: :lol: Niiiiice! We could just abbreviate it... Make him SADDP! LMAO!

:cursin: :hug: now now dear, calm down...:lol: we only tease ya cuz we like ya!

:lol: Niiiiice! We could just abbreviate it... Make him SADDP! LMAO! :rofl:

:skep:

Well I suppose I can toss out my :2cents: I suppose I can understand the no kissing thing. I have also vowed to never let anyone as close to me as a past girl had. Ive been in relationships some of them long term, but Im always up front and honest about the fact that I have no intentions of falling in love again. Most of the time they think they will change my mind and then when they realize they aren't going to they leave. Which is ok. I don't mind and to be completely honest. I LOVE it this way. Ive been with my current girlfriend for about 4 years now and things are fine. She knows what to expect from me and she knows that I care about her but Im never going to let her get so close to me that I "need" her. She knows that someday she will either have to move on or give up on the having kids dream. The only thing I would have to really disagree with is the fact that you say you want to be his #1 and you aren't willing to make him #1. I know this has been discussed earlier but Im saying it for a diffrent reason. You said that you won't let someone close to you again. Which I totally respect and actually encourage, but then in reality YOU are your own #1. You are putting your emotional safty ahead of him. Which again is fine. But if you are't willing to take the chance of being hurt they you can't really expect him to take that chance, which is what he would be doing by making you #1. Just remember that most people are out there looking for exactly what you are looking for. Someone to put them first. So if you aren't willing to do that then maybe you should take some more time and sort things out till you are ready.

Well I suppose I can toss out my :2cents: I suppose I can understand the no kissing thing. I have also vowed to never let anyone as close to me as a past girl had. Ive been in relationships some of them long term, but Im always up front and honest about the fact that I have no intentions of falling in love again. Most of the time they think they will change my mind and then when they realize they aren't going to they leave. Which is ok. I don't mind and to be completely honest. I LOVE it this way. Ive been with my current girlfriend for about 4 years now and things are fine. She knows what to expect from me and she knows that I care about her but Im never going to let her get so close to me that I "need" her. She knows that someday she will either have to move on or give up on the having kids dream. The only thing I would have to really disagree with is the fact that you say you want to be his #1 and you aren't willing to make him #1. I know this has been discussed earlier but Im saying it for a diffrent reason. You said that you won't let someone close to you again. Which I totally respect and actually encourage, but then in reality YOU are your own #1. You are putting your emotional safty ahead of him. Which again is fine. But if you are't willing to take the chance of being hurt they you can't really expect him to take that chance, which is what he would be doing by making you #1. Just remember that most people are out there looking for exactly what you are looking for. Someone to put them first. So if you aren't willing to do that then maybe you should take some more time and sort things out till you are ready. Nicely put, just one question about your quote "I refuse to tip toe carefully through life, simply to arrive safely at death. " in your sig. By not willing to take the chance to get close to people again, you are tip toeing carefully through life. Love is a lot scarier then riding super fast on a bike.

And wanted to ask everyone to vote for my bike for BOTM in June ! LoL.. OK, really, I just wanted to let Jappy know that there are guys out there who feel like her ! Maybe she is a Dental assistant, or Hell even a Dentist, Oral Surgeon, whatever, and just doesn't enjoy the thought of trying to choke someone out with her tongue ! From the Male side of the house, I definitely know what she means about the Kid thing, as I will be 42 this June, and I can not find any one over the age of 20 who doesn't have kids ! If I could find someone like herself that owned/rode there own bike, I would fall over in Disbelief !:cheers: Any how, Good Luck, and like everyone said, don't give up, or comprimise, I haven't, and I won't, even if it means I die Old & Lonely OH, and if this is an interview process for a possible date, consider this my Resume ! :readng: Steve.

hey this guy sounds like he has potential!!:lol:

TWF Dating service! :lol: Shan you need to start chargin these folks an $9.95 a month! LOL j/k Wild Monkey :)

For the vote of confidence Rae, and Pickle, did I hear you say you would pay for my first Year of "TWF Dating Service" ?..... Oh, and if this thread is an interview, Jappy... :nopicsbs: You may now return to your normal :whore: 'ing... LoL.. Steve.

For the vote of confidence Rae, and Pickle, did I hear you say you would pay for my first Year of "TWF Dating Service" ?..... Oh, and if this thread is an interview, Jappy... :nopicsbs: You may now return to your normal :whore: 'ing... LoL.. Steve. Before you go whippin out the :nopicsbs: , you oughta post up some more for our... er... HER consideration! (the one ones in your album are too small/too far away). :tt:

There should be one of me at the CROT from last year... look further in the gallery, ooops, Shan may have deleted it so I could load up those pic's for BOTM, let me see what I can do. Trust me, Uncle Sam hasn't let me get too Fat/Out of shape since that pic ! LoL. Yes, that's right, I too am currently serveing.... Go Army, Beat Navy ! Steve.

Got the pic of me at the CROT uploaded, however, it is now pending approval ! BTW, I go there quite often, as a spur of the moment, as it is only about a 3 hour trip from here in Augusta ! My motto is, if it won't fit in the tail bag, I'll just buy what I need when I get there ! :cheers: Steve.

We'll be right here waitin.... :tt:

jappy, maybe you should get a puppy. unconditional love for you and you don't hafta kiss 'em.

jappy, maybe you should get a puppy. unconditional love for you and you don't hafta kiss 'em. but they kiss you... waiting for those pix monkey...:tt:

I believe he is the one that approves pic's before they actually become visible ! Hey Rae, where in NW FL ? I live in Pensacola when my Rich Uncle isn't keeping me busy ! Steve !

Wow, I knew it wouldn't take long for date offers. Got to love the internet.

I believe he is the one that approves pic's before they actually become visible ! Hey Rae, where in NW FL ? I live in Pensacola when my Rich Uncle isn't keeping me busy ! Steve ! Awesome!! we live in Ft Walton!! We gotta get together!! we always go out with a group of friends on Sundays, but this weekend we are hitting up Thunder Beach in Panama City!! Got plans?

I just checked my photo's, and there is actually still the pic of me at the CROT visible, you just have to scroll past the pic's I uploaded for the BOTM ! View away !!!! :hawk:

I just checked my photo's, and there is actually still the pic of me at the CROT visible, you just have to scroll past the pic's I uploaded for the BOTM ! View away !!!! :hawk: :lol: i love the last one....

I just checked my photo's, and there is actually still the pic of me at the CROT visible, you just have to scroll past the pic's I uploaded for the BOTM ! View away !!!! :hawk: There is one of someone at the gap, is that you?

Yep. That's me ! It was early that morning, but that was a great day of riding ! I met up with some fellow HayaBusa.org members, and we rode the Dragon, Cheroholla Skyway, and some other roads for good measure ! I haven't taken any trips yet this year, BUT, I am getting that itch, just have to get through the next 3 weeks, and then my work schedule gets very, er...... "Flexible" ! :cheers: Now that you have singled it out Rae, I guess I'm gonna have to go see what that last pic is, since I can/t remember ! Steve.

Some where a few pages back, RaeRR hit it on the head. ok now for my contradicting myself. I guess I'll have to explain what I mean by #1. I don't mean that we need to be attached at the hip 24/7 and I need 24/7 attention, but it would be nice to be included in a few things. I don't mean football games and that kinna sh*t, meaning if they decide to make an important life decision then why can't I be involved in it? I don't have to give my opinion on what they're about to do, unless asked to give one, I just want to be involved so I can be supportive. Keep me in mind that since I'm a part of their lives that their decision will also effect me. That if they want me in their lives, then involve me in it. I'm tired of the "Oh yea, BTW this is my gf!" Like I'm something they forgot but figured they needed to introduce me because someone will ask whom they are with. I'm not kidding, this happens to me all the time. Sorry, but that hurts. Now as for kids, it comes down to this: Parents will always put their children first. I understand that. But I've dated guys with kids and we've made plans to do things and at the last minute "kid" will call, ask Daddy if he wants to do what ever, and I'm blown off. It sucks! I'm sorry but I find that BS. Now if "kid" were ill, and Dad had to scoot and take care of Jr. then ok!! that's different!! That I can understand. Also, I've been the last minute baby sitter to many time. I think Dad is coming over to be with me but really he's just dropping his kids off so he can go out with the guys. umm NO! :tt: that's crap. Also, I'm willing to give myself to some one but with conditions. There are conditions in life and if I can accept others, mine need to be accepted as well. Like RaeRR said, I let them know ahead of time what's up. I will not BS anyone on what I'm looking for or what I need from them. I refuse to BS someone into a false sense of hope that things will be different. I am who I am and if they cant deal with it, then so be it. But at least they can say that I never pulled the wool over their eyes and led them to believe different. Now as for compromise. I realize there are sacrifices in life. Hell, we all do them daily. But the was I see it is, a relationship is not a sacrifice, it's a compromise. When I'm the one ending up sacrificing everything and no compromise, that's just wrong. For anyone! I'm not going to give up who and what I am to keep this person happy. Now I know I sound like a hard headed b**ch, but really I'm not. I've just learned to like myself a lot more and I'm not willing to change all of me for someone. I'm not an over demanding person. Either that be someones time, attentions or what have you. But, one thing I do demand is respect. We all should! So this thread has really gone on and on. I hope I explained myself a little better and the situation I'm in. I know I didn't do a good job of it. Cut me a break, I was trying to think after a 12 hr night at work. Even I re-read what I typed and it was confusing. sorry! :sorry:

That particular pic is the screen saver on my laptop ! That is a Kick A@@ road, that goes up to a peak that is cut thru solid black stone ! I thought you meant the last pic on page one, the last pic on page 2 was from a little camel watching I did about a year ago, don't really care much about that one... Just thought it was kind of funny. I am afterall, a Reserveist, who has been active since Sept. of '04. Steve.

Some where a few pages back, RaeRR hit it on the head. ok now for my contradicting myself. I guess I'll have to explain what I mean by #1. I don't mean that we need to be attached at the hip 24/7 and I need 24/7 attention, but it would be nice to be included in a few things. I don't mean football games and that kinna sh*t, meaning if they decide to make an important life decision then why can't I be involved in it? I don't have to give my opinion on what they're about to do, unless asked to give one, I just want to be involved so I can be supportive. Keep me in mind that since I'm a part of their lives that their decision will also effect me. That if they want me in their lives, then involve me in it. I'm tired of the "Oh yea, BTW this is my gf!" Like I'm something they forgot but figured they needed to introduce me because someone will ask whom they are with. I'm not kidding, this happens to me all the time. Sorry, but that hurts. Now as for kids, it comes down to this: Parents will always put their children first. I understand that. But I've dated guys with kids and we've made plans to do things and at the last minute "kid" will call, ask Daddy if he wants to do what ever, and I'm blown off. It sucks! I'm sorry but I find that BS. Now if "kid" were ill, and Dad had to scoot and take care of Jr. then ok!! that's different!! That I can understand. Also, I've been the last minute baby sitter to many time. I think Dad is coming over to be with me but really he's just dropping his kids off so he can go out with the guys. umm NO! :tt: that's crap. Also, I'm willing to give myself to some one but with conditions. There are conditions in life and if I can accept others, mine need to be accepted as well. Like RaeRR said, I let them know ahead of time what's up. I will not BS anyone on what I'm looking for or what I need from them. I refuse to BS someone into a false sense of hope that things will be different. I am who I am and if they cant deal with it, then so be it. But at least they can say that I never pulled the wool over their eyes and led them to believe different. Now as for compromise. I realize there are sacrifices in life. Hell, we all do them daily. But the was I see it is, a relationship is not a sacrifice, it's a compromise. When I'm the one ending up sacrificing everything and no compromise, that's just wrong. For anyone! I'm not going to give up who and what I am to keep this person happy. Now I know I sound like a hard headed b**ch, but really I'm not. I've just learned to like myself a lot more and I'm not willing to change all of me for someone. I'm not an over demanding person. Either that be someones time, attentions or what have you. But, one thing I do demand is respect. We all should! So this thread has really gone on and on. I hope I explained myself a little better and the situation I'm in. I know I didn't do a good job of it. Cut me a break, I was trying to think after a 12 hr night at work. Even I re-read what I typed and it was confusing. sorry! :sorry: That makes a lot more sense, I can see where you are coming from now. Those arent unreasonable terms. You didnt provide us with enough info at first, so we got to debating lol.

I can't make it this weekend, as I am currently here in Augusta, Ga. I should be able to make it home around Memorial Day weekend, but I will have to see how my work load here goes ! If/when I know I'm gonna be home with my bike, I will shoot 'Ya a PM ! Hooking up with a bunch of fellow S/B riders is always cool ! The trip from P-Cola to FT. Walton is a great place to stretch my 'Busa's leg's ! Steve.

I can't make it this weekend, as I am currently here in Augusta, Ga. I should be able to make it home around Memorial Day weekend, but I will have to see how my work load here goes ! If/when I know I'm gonna be home with my bike, I will shoot 'Ya a PM ! Hooking up with a bunch of fellow S/B riders is always cool ! The trip from P-Cola to FT. Walton is a great place to stretch my 'Busa's leg's ! Steve. i'll hold you to that!! :lol: we just added a busa to our group a few weeks ago, and my buddy just bought one yesterday, so we are up and coming for the busa riders!! we have a kat that runs with us from time to time, couple hondas (600 & 1000 rr's) and a couple gixxers, ans a suz, we'd love to have ya!!! we dont do anything crazy mind you, just get out and enjoy the ride!!

And "Thank's" for inviting me ! I will definitely get together with youse guy's ! Don't worry, I neither allow peer pressure to influence my actions, nor do I try to influence others to act against their better judgement ! I do like speed, however, when riding with a group for the first time, I always hang at the back, until I see how the dynamics of the group are ! Steve.

Well Jappy, I'm going use your own quote to respond to your most recent update, "Well isn't that just kick you in the crotch, spit on your neck fantastic!!" :lol:

The pic in question... approved by me... http://www.twowheelforum.com/photopost/direct_data/500/medium/Drgon05_011.jpg

That makes a lot more sense, I can see where you are coming from now. Those arent unreasonable terms. You didnt provide us with enough info at first, so we got to debating lol. lol I know... I'm sorry. Like I said these 12 hr nights kick my butt some mornings. When I went back and re-read what I wrote, even I couldn't understand it. I guess I would of made a great Engineer. lol (That isn't directed toward you Vol, I posses a BSME) I was beginning to think that I was being unreasonable. I'm glad I've been told different. Maybe I should just stay single. It's not a bad thing, it's just a lonely thing.

Now, if you could just find & post one of Jappy, we might be able to help her out ! :willy: Steve.

Now, if you could just find & post one of Jappy, we might be able to help her out ! :willy: Steve. ask and you shall receive. here's her pics she posted from awhile back. no :drool: , you'll short circuit your keyboard. :dthumb:

Jappy, in a totally non-gay way, dang girl, your hot!!! you shouldnt have any trouble getting a guy!!!

Jappy, in a totally non-gay way, dang girl, your hot!!! you shouldnt have any trouble getting a guy!!! :iagree: God bless the USA! LOL

she is adorable, isn't she?! :here: :dthumb:

Man! I miss a few days and look where how far this thread has gone. :crazy:

It all started because I was pandering for votes for my bike to be BOTM /June ! Now, as for Jappy's pics, 1st, it makes me homesick, seeing that water ! 2nd, Man, I LOVE Tattoo's on ladies, and it looks like hers are done right ! 3rd, who the hell needs any more than that ! I'm IN. Where do I send my Resume !!!!! Steve.

Jappy, in a totally non-gay way, dang girl, your hot!!! OMG! :BAHA: I just wet myself! :lol:

Where do I send my Resume !!!!! Steve. Applications are being accepted Monday thru Friday 7 a.m. till 3 p.m. CST. in c/o TWF! :wink: j/k! lol

OMG! :BAHA: I just wet myself! :lol: And now I can't stand up! :lol:

Hey J, I can totally agree with what you posted in your SECOND try at explaining this stuff. That's great :) My question would be do you present your likes/dislikes more like your original post or more like that second one when you're laying things out for someone? I know that my reaction to the original would have been "ummm, bye" whereas with the second one I definitely would have at least stuck around through dessert. That doesn't do you much good in dealing with the married/with kids jackholes, but maybe something to think about when you DO meet someone with potential. Personally, the affection thing would be and overall deal breaker for me...but you ARE beautiful and if you ever get out to the Left Coast here I'd be happy to ride with you and run interference when necessary :hug: Oh yeah...and :yup: to whoever suggested maybe getting away from B.G...

ask and you shall receive. here's her pics she posted from awhile back. no :drool: , you'll short circuit your keyboard. :dthumb: Ahem...my name is Derek. How are you? We should go out sometime. Maybe i can take you on my bike? What? You have two? The same model? Damn! That didn't work.

Ahem...my name is Derek. How are you? We should go out sometime. Maybe i can take you on my bike? What? You have two? The same model? Damn! That didn't work. :rofl: that is friggin hilarious!!!

I don't think I could actually top an actual proposition for a date, unless, ummmm yes, it just might work if I ask for a personal tour guide while in B.G. with a bunch of friends from another web site that is having it's national get together there in June, which is my B-day month... Oh Man, I think that might work ! :help: I can't stop myself ! :twfrox: (Shameless plug, hope it helps me with BOTM) Robin, How to Stop this Madness... :yikes: :leaving: Steve.