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post #1 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-19-2006, 05:37 PM Thread Starter
 
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new drugs for women...

if only these really existed


NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.


ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.


PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.


NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.
itgirl25 is offline  
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post #2 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-19-2006, 05:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itgirl25 View Post
if only these really existed


NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.


ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.


PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.


NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.
1BadCBR is offline  
post #3 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-19-2006, 05:56 PM
 
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Posts: 614
I suppose you've heard the one about alcohol increasing a persons estrogen levels!

Lab testing has shown that men, when intoxicated;

lose co-ordination,
Become overly emotional,
Talk incessantly, often about the most trivial subjects!
Go through rapid mood swings
Lose the ability to read maps or operate a vehicle.

No further research was considered necessary!

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post #4 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-19-2006, 09:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Chuckademus View Post
I suppose you've heard the one about alcohol increasing a persons estrogen levels!

Lab testing has shown that men, when intoxicated;

lose co-ordination,
Become overly emotional,
Talk incessantly, often about the most trivial subjects!
Go through rapid mood swings
Lose the ability to read maps or operate a vehicle.

No further research was considered necessary!

Plus, excellent in bed
1BadCBR is offline  
post #5 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-19-2006, 09:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1BadCBR View Post
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post #6 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-19-2006, 09:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itgirl25 View Post
if only these really existed


NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
I think we can all agree on these five...
OneSickPsycho is offline  
post #7 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-19-2006, 10:01 PM
 
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pretty funny.
BravoX1 is offline  
post #8 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 12:50 PM Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1BadCBR View Post
Plus, excellent in bed
lasting longer does not always = better.
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post #9 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 01:11 PM
 
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Originally Posted by itgirl25 View Post
lasting longer does not always = better.
SOOOO true!

Quantity doesn't equal QUALITY.
neebelung is offline  
post #10 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 02:43 PM
 
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[QUOTE=itgirl25;229215]if only these really existed

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

Now ya'll want us to take the time and energy to lift the seat and put it back down too, but yet how many women out there are to damn lazy to even look before down before they sit, hell gravity does most of the work.

Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for my comments as I two am married, get b*tched out constantly for not putting the seat down, don't understand women's logic on this, and find great amusment at hearing my wife's screams at 3:am when she falls in and refuses to ever have to look.n:
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post #11 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 02:50 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itgirl25 View Post
lasting longer does not always = better.
Quote:
Originally Posted by neebelung View Post
SOOOO true!

Quantity doesn't equal QUALITY.
How shall I respond to these statements
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post #12 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 02:55 PM
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I think there is another that they take, that we(men) dont know about.

Nosexitol
Removes all sexual desire for a period of 30 days for all men that they know longer that 1 week.
Rider is offline  
post #13 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 02:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuckademus View Post
I suppose you've heard the one about alcohol increasing a persons estrogen levels!

Lab testing has shown that men, when intoxicated;

lose co-ordination,
Become overly emotional,
Talk incessantly, often about the most trivial subjects!
Go through rapid mood swings
Lose the ability to read maps or operate a vehicle.

No further research was considered necessary!



When did men start reading maps?



marko138 is offline  
post #14 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 03:04 PM
 
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Posts: 163
You shouldn't have to respond. There are 2 types of people in this world, the quick and the dead. Consider everything in life a race.
riding triumph is offline  
post #15 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 03:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GR_Z750s_rider View Post
I think there is another that they take, that we(men) dont know about.

Nosexitol
Removes all sexual desire for a period of 30 days for all men that they know longer that 1 week.

There's an antidote for that one, though... it's called foreplay.








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post #16 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 03:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by neebelung View Post
There's an antidote for that one, though... it's called foreplay.



ouch!




ouch!
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post #17 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 03:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by 1BadCBR View Post
ouch!
I know, it was mean... I was actually only teasin....
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post #18 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 03:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neebelung View Post
I know, it was mean... I was actually only teasin....
If you only knew.....
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post #19 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 03:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neebelung View Post
I know, it was mean... I was actually only teasin....
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post #20 of 109 (permalink) Old 09-20-2006, 03:48 PM
 
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funny at that tho.
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