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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-11-2006, 06:31 PM Thread Starter
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Something to Affend Everyone

Some of these I've seen, others I haven't...
__________________________________________________ _____________

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE:

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan


What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.


What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag


Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.


What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?


Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any


What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.


What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.


What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs


What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes


What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.


Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.


What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you


What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.


Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.


What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.


What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"


Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.


Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Arkansas ?
Everyone has the same DNA.


Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.


Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."


Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.


Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.


Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong


What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.


What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.


What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".


How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!


Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides


AND....LAST BUT NOT LEAST



What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this..."


-My 2004 YZF-R1 - GYTR Exhaust, HID's, BMC Filter, PUIG DB, PCIII and more...
-2000 SV650 = Sold
-2003 R1 = Demolished, Sold
-2004 R1 = Lovin it!

http://www.myspace.com/r1upon1
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-11-2006, 06:36 PM
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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

06 CBR1000RR-two brothers, sportech windscreen, c/f hugger+exhaust guard, pazzos, OEM solo cowl


06 Blue/White GSXR 600-Sold
1990 Mustang-sold
2003 Cobra-sold

2002 BMW 325ci 5 speed

MA Army National Guard 1/181 Infantry
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-11-2006, 10:50 PM
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man that's funny lololololol
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-11-2006, 10:54 PM
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I have heard some of that stuff but it all gets funnier everytime.


"Engineers are social landmines." -Udo Schnumpf

Adam Dempsey
1995 Honda CBR600 F3
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-12-2006, 06:54 AM
 
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-12-2006, 07:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DempsRS
I have heard some of that stuff but it all gets funnier everytime.


Currently bikeless
Was 007 CBR 600RR
was '98 YZF 600R
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-12-2006, 07:17 AM
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-12-2006, 07:28 AM
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-12-2006, 08:13 AM
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That's friggin hilarious, and so true, especially about the BMW's.
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