Retirement info for Air Force members - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
 
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-15-2006, 03:06 PM Thread Starter
 
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Retirement info for Air Force members

As a result of Senate-proposed force reductions and budget cuts, the Department of the Air Force has developed a program to reduce its number of personnel. This program is under test phase and will take effect 01 September 2006.

Under this new program, older airmen will be asked to go on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of the younger airmen who represent the future. Therefore, this program will phase out older airmen by the end of the next fiscal year.

The initial phase of the program will be known as SLAP (Specialty Late-Aged Program). Airmen who are SLAPPed will be given the opportunity to look for
jobs outside the Air Force.

SLAPPed airmen can request a review of their personnel records before actual retirement takes place. This phase of the program is called SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All airmen who have been SLAPPed or SCREWed may file an appeal with their chain of command with final authority at the MAJCOM level. This is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).

Under the terms of the new policy, an airman may be SLAPPed once, SCREWed twice, but may be SHAFTed as many times as the Air Force deems appropriate.

If an airman follows the above procedures, he/she will be entitled to get HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump-sum assistance Payment), unless he/she already has AIDS (Additional Income from Dependents or Spouse). As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any airman who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPed or SCREWed by the Air Force.

The government wishes to assure the younger airmen who remain on board that the Air Force will continue its policy of training airmen through Special High Intensity Training (****).

This Air Force takes pride in the amount of **** our airmen receive. We have given our airmen more **** than any other service. If any airman feels they do not receive enough **** at their current assignment, see your immediate supervisor.

YOUR SUPERVISOR IS SPECIALLY TRAINED TO MAKE SURE YOU RECEIVE ALL THE SHhhh YOU CAN STAND.
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-15-2006, 03:13 PM
 
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That sh*t is MAD FUNNY!!
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-15-2006, 03:15 PM
 
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-15-2006, 03:18 PM Thread Starter
 
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Yea it is, one of my AF buddies sent it to me!
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-15-2006, 03:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1BadCBR
Yea it is, one of my AF buddies sent it to me!
Chair Force is the way to go!
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-15-2006, 03:25 PM Thread Starter
 
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i know! Unfortunally I found out after I said I do in the Army.....
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-15-2006, 03:34 PM
Rae
 
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hubby has sent that one to me before...they def come up with some crazy stuff!!
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-15-2006, 03:46 PM
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is me till the
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-15-2006, 11:52 PM
 
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-16-2006, 01:36 AM
 
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It's funny because it's true!
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 08-16-2006, 05:15 AM
 
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