They Walk Among Us - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
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post #1 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-23-2006, 01:42 PM Thread Starter
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They Walk Among Us

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. Caution... They Walk Among Us! ====================



While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." They Walk Among Us!! ====================



I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . They Walk Among Us!!! ====================



My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". . They Walk Among Us!!!! ====================



My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk... They Walk Among Us!!!!! ====================



My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... They Walk Among Us!!!!!! ====================



I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned... They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! ====================



I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"... They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!! ====================



While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces. Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!! ====================



They walk among us AND reproduce!




-Chris
aka Gas Man



Was: 2002 Kaw ZX-9R
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is me till the
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post #2 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-23-2006, 01:45 PM
 
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My mom sent me that last week, funny stuff.
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post #3 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-23-2006, 01:51 PM
 
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I think I work with most of them...
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post #4 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-23-2006, 02:08 PM
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Pretty funny. Thanks for the laugh. My son bought a sleeve for his iPod when he was in Florida and it was the larger iPod, so I told him I'd bring it to the Apple store to exchange it for him. I didn't have the reciept, but had the package and everything that went with it. The guy at the front counter said he couldn't exchange it without a reciept. When I asked why he responded that I could have bought it somewhere else for less money. After trying to inform him several times that there would be no advantage for me to buy it somewhere else for less money and then exchange it there for the EXACT SAME ONE but in a size that fit, he had his manager come over. His manager quickly realized the validity of my point and promptly made the exchange. They walk among us
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post #5 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-24-2006, 07:30 AM
 
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Wow.



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post #6 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-25-2006, 01:50 AM
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Scary but true! the do walk among us!

Submit your ride for the TWF Bike of the Month here


Currently ride 1987 GSXR 50, 1996 Ducati M900, 2005 GSXR 1000
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post #7 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-25-2006, 02:41 AM
 
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I work a part time job doing security at a bar, you can't imagine what walks among us!
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post #8 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-25-2006, 02:51 AM
 
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funny stuff, they do walk among us and most are in the military.
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post #9 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-25-2006, 04:33 AM
 
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they walk among us but most of them scrape their knuckles when they walk...
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post #10 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-25-2006, 05:47 AM
 
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Originally Posted by tatersalad View Post
they walk among us but most of them scrape their knuckles when they walk...
You've got reps!



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post #11 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-25-2006, 05:50 AM
 
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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh feeding the habit....
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post #12 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-25-2006, 05:53 AM
 
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ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh feeding the habit....
Yes...but I don't support your lifestyle.



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post #13 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-25-2006, 03:03 PM
 
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Theeeeere Heeeeere..................
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post #14 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-25-2006, 03:57 PM
 
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The bar I work at happens to be a biker bar. (mostly harleys) Uncanny how many of these people have had skin grafts (you can tell cause they all wear muscle shirts) or limp or whatever. And still I see it all the time some fool drunker than 10,000 indians hop on his bike and go like a bat out of hell. (I can use the indian reference without offending anyone cause I am part native american)
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post #15 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 10:17 PM
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I am a manager... call center sales...

I had a guy try to call off work one day because... "my turtle is sick."

Another good one...

"I cannot come to work today" Why not? "Umm... I am not feeling well." Ok, what's wrong? "....uh.... ..... ....." Hello? You still there? "yeah" Ok, why are you calling off? "My kids are sick." Really? Didn't you just say you weren't feeling well. "Yeah I am sick too" Ok, what's wrong, have you been to the doctor? "nah, it's not really that bad, I am feeling much better." Ok, so then you are coming in, right? "yeah, I will just be a little late."

More...

They come in before the shift to pick up their paychecks... I hand them over... Then an hour later I get the call... "I am way too sick to come in today, I have been in bed or on the toilet all day." Didn't I just hand you your paycheck no more than an hour ago. "Yeah" So you weren't in bed all day? "No, I was" Ok, you need to be here today. "Ok."

In an interview...

So you are still employed at "such&such"... Where do they think you are today? "I called off sick." MmmK... How are you in terms of reliability? "I am always on time and never call off...." Except for today, right? "F*ck... Yeah today was my first call off." Well, I'll tell you what, as soon as we have a position open that will fit a candidate of your caliber, we will call you...

You would be amazed at the number of times people have dropped the F-bomb, answered their cell phone, and/or I have caught lying in the interview.

So your application says you have been on the phones working at 'Such&Such' for well over a year and left because of a disagreement with management, can you elaborate? "Yeah, I was only there for 3 months and they terminated me because they didn't like me." Ok, well we will contact you when a position is available fitting a candidate of your caliber...

They walk among us...
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post #16 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 10:24 PM
 
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mamma always says stupid is as stupid does........
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post #17 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 10:44 PM
 
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this one isn't as funny, but...

my wife and i went shopping the other day for work close for her. so we go into jeans wharehouse and they are having a 50% off sale. well that was fine and dandy, except for the fact that on half of the racks was a card with a "50% off" chart, because apparently the people of hawaii can't divide by 2 in their head.
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post #18 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 10:47 PM
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Originally Posted by super hulk View Post
The bar I work at happens to be a biker bar. (mostly harleys) Uncanny how many of these people have had skin grafts (you can tell cause they all wear muscle shirts) or limp or whatever. And still I see it all the time some fool drunker than 10,000 indians hop on his bike and go like a bat out of hell. (I can use the indian reference without offending anyone cause I am part native american)
Ah yes, ethnic slurs are always ok, as long as the come from someone of that particular ethnicity... Reason #127 of what the hell is wrong with this country...
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post #19 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 10:49 PM
 
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Ah yes, ethnic slurs are always ok, as long as the come from someone of that particular ethnicity... Reason #127 of what the hell is wrong with this country...
ah screw just offend eveyone in a slur and get it over with
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post #20 of 30 (permalink) Old 08-27-2006, 10:59 PM
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ah screw just offend eveyone in a slur and get it over with
I don't like double standards and this is one that really flames my sphincter... Either it's offensive or it's not... You can't call yourself a name, but be offended if someone else uses it... THAT'S JUST STUPID!
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