I know in our minds we’ve gone over what our perfect mate is, but the reality is there is no such thing as a perfect mate. The perfection you see in your significant other is her tolerance of your [email protected]
#$. Contrary to popular belief men just don’t seek Double D’s and a nice rear end; our requirements for that special one is a bit more in depth then that. I’m sure we could come up with a million things we as individuals need to make her “Ms. Right” but for a general sense I think this hits it on the head.
1) Support System
Most successful men have come to realize that a woman who has no goals or interests of her own, will have no interest in his goals and interests. A supportive spouse is essential for long-term relationship stability and will ultimately determine whether or not he succeeds or fails. The old adage "Behind every great man, is a great woman." -- holds an enormous amount of merit.
The saying is born out of observing the histories of the world's most successful men, how they persevered, and the support system in which they thrived. It's not a coincidence that even stronger, respectable women stood by their sides a majority of the time.
Whether your mate is a multi-million dollar marketing executive, a gym owner, or a goat-herder -- supporting his dreams and endeavors speaks volumes and is representative of your true love.
2) Being Sexy
There is nothing more tantalizing or satisfying, than having a beautiful woman to love and who loves you. Women naturally keep up their appearances whether they're in a relationship or not, but men hold an enormous amount of respect for those sistas who take the time to shine.
If you're a frumpy dresser who walks around with a permanent frown, be prepared for some extremely lonely nights during the dating years.
You don't have to wear the most expensive clothes, or pile on layers of makeup. But most men are visual creatures and our hearts are easily influenced by beauty and style. Once you capture us with your sexy image -- our minds take over and begin to concentrate on more important things.
This may seem "1950-ish", but men do still love women who are great around the house. Good food, a clean environment, washed clothes, and well-kept children -- are all-important characteristics in determining whether or not a woman is wife material, or just someone to hang out with.
Husbands around the world will tell you that most men do not fully appreciate those women who are great homemakers. It's an unforgiving job and not all women are good at it. For those who excel in this arena, there is undoubtedly a glorious future with a good man waiting for you.
Now before you ladies get too steamed over the idea of being a homemaker, the desire is no different than a woman wanting some old-fashioned basics from a man (i.e. someone who is courageous; able to provide some sense of physical security; someone to lift those heavy boxes; and someone to mow the grass, etc.)
4) A Spiritual Mind
If you have no belief in a higher power, don't come crying to us on Judgment Day! Men who hold a strong spiritual connection with God, need women who are equally in tune with their own spirituality. Even if you can't tithe as much as you would like, or attend services every week -- a strong moral fiber rooted in your religious beliefs is important.
Any disconnect on a spiritual level will surely cause an imbalance in your relationship. A man who believes in a divine power and who worships regularly, will retain a moral and ethical system of beliefs -- and most good Black men seek a woman of great character who also follows the same, or complementary system.
You won't agree on every aspect of faith and religion, but a common ground is necessary for sustained growth.
5) Smarty Pants
Most guys won't admit it, but we really do look for women who are as smart, or smarter than we are. Men don't know everything... (Though some of us think we do!), and usually find comfort in knowing we have an intelligent partner we can lean on.
We're not talking about a box full of college degrees here. But some level of academic success is a desire of many Black men. Guys believe that women who possess a sharp wit, are irreplaceable and command the utmost respect.
For men -- women with a high intelligence level are good for the duration of the relationship. This isn't necessarily true when those heated debates occur...(this is when guys wish women didn't know what they were talking about), but a woman with a strong mind is ultimately a blessing.
A worthwhile note here: All of these special assets work best when they are given with feeling and heartfelt desire. You have to want to support your spouse in his endeavors, and you have to want to be sexy, spiritual, and passionate about being his partner.
Simply going through the motions because you think its how you should behave, will soon become a tedious task you no longer want to participate in.