when girls don't put out - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
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post #1 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-21-2006, 09:22 PM Thread Starter
 
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when girls don't put out

I thought this was funny:

"I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her."

Last edited by byron12; 11-24-2006 at 12:25 PM.
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post #2 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-21-2006, 10:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by byron12 View Post
I thought this was funny:

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
:BAHA:
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post #3 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-21-2006, 10:38 PM
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post #4 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-21-2006, 10:45 PM
 
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:BAHA:
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post #5 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 12:14 AM
 
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post #6 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 03:00 AM
 
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fUNNY SH*T.
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post #7 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 03:28 AM
 
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Nice.



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post #8 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 03:29 AM
 
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Nice.
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post #9 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 03:32 AM
 
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Originally Posted by DLITALIEN View Post
I love that one.



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post #10 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 03:34 AM
 
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I love that one.
I like how it says "TRAC" on his shirt.
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post #11 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 03:42 AM
 
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Originally Posted by DLITALIEN View Post
I like how it says "TRAC" on his shirt.
The look on his face is priceless.



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post #12 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 05:19 AM
 
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Cool beans man, cool beans
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post #13 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 06:55 AM
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Is this a repost? I have seen this before either on here or in an email.
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post #14 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 06:56 AM
 
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Is this a repost? I have seen this before either on here or in an email.
New 2 me!
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post #15 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 07:00 AM
 
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Originally Posted by GR_Z750s_rider View Post
Is this a repost? I have seen this before either on here or in an email.
Yeah, it's an oldie, but a goodie.
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post #16 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 08:17 AM
 
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Good answer...Now...when she tells you she has a headache and you're not getting any...

Just go into the bathroom and rustle around in the medicine cabinet...when you come out and she asks what you were doing in there...

Tell her you just sprinkled Mr. Wiggly with aspirin...and she can take it orally...or as a suppository...her choice...
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post #17 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 08:49 AM
 
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:BAHA: I love that one! Never gets old!
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post #18 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 08:51 AM
 
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Sprinkled with aspirin!!!

Actually mother nature has this all worked out...Men peak at 18-19, womens urge peaks at 30 ish. Gives the species 15 - 20 years to chase each other and make new generations. If we both peaked at 18 then the next 40 years would be a complete drag!!!
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post #19 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 09:16 AM
 
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Originally Posted by smileyman View Post
Sprinkled with aspirin!!!

Actually mother nature has this all worked out...Men peak at 18-19, womens urge peaks at 30 ish. Gives the species 15 - 20 years to chase each other and make new generations. If we both peaked at 18 then the next 40 years would be a complete drag!!!

I don't know about you...but my peak is still "in the clouds" almost daily...besides..."old peoples' sex" is more about quality than quantity...

Something with age, you will learn...young sportbiker...
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post #20 of 44 (permalink) Old 11-22-2006, 09:23 AM
 
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Originally Posted by bumblebee View Post
I don't know about you...but my peak is still "in the clouds" almost daily...besides..."old peoples' sex" is more about quality than quantity...

Something with age, you will learn...young sportbiker...
EWWWW. old people sex is gross. I dont wanna picture you and the Mrs. doing the horizontal hokie pokie.
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