It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in
front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened
his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir,
I need to see your ticket not your stub."
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, " Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop
gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his
hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was
delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
Best for last......
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class,
I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and
asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to
laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles
knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I
guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."