How to make a woman/man happy - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2007, 02:34 PM Thread Starter
Chicken Strip
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 70
How to make a woman/man happy

How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45 give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget :
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
AJCrader is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2007, 03:58 PM
Premium Member
 
fpzx10's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Northeast Alabama
Posts: 2,237
Gonna have to wait to rep you again.
fpzx10 is offline  
post #3 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2007, 05:19 PM
 
1BadCBR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Georgia
Posts: 7,007
Send a message via Yahoo to 1BadCBR
Quote:
Originally Posted by fpzx10 View Post
Gonna have to wait to rep you again.
1BadCBR is offline  
post #4 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2007, 05:43 PM
Sportbike Junkie
 
dscort's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: wauseon ohio
Posts: 665

01 CBR929RE ------------- 01 DRZ400S SOLD ------------ 95 CBR900RR

dscort is offline  
post #5 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2007, 05:46 PM
TWF Board Of Directors
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 10,074
rept
Rider is offline  
post #6 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-29-2007, 06:22 PM
Factory Racer
 
Bassplayer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: San Leandro, CA
Posts: 1,431
Send a message via AIM to Bassplayer
so true....rept
Bassplayer is offline  
post #7 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 10:36 AM
Knee Dragger
 
Katherine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 392
Send a message via MSN to Katherine
Insider's Guide to Common Male Vocabulary

Can I help with dinner?
Translation: Why isn't it already on the table?

Uh huh, Sure, honey, or Yes, dear.
Translation: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

It would take too long to explain.
Translation: I have no idea how it works.

I'm getting more exercise lately.
Translation: The batteries in the remote are dead.

We're going to be late.
Translation: Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac.

Take a break, honey. You're working too hard.
Translation: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

'That's interesting, dear.
Translation: Are you still talking?

Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love.
Translation: I forgot our anniversary again.

You expect too much from me.
Translation: You want me to stay awake?

That's women's work.
Translation: It's difficult, dirty and thankless.

You know how bad my memory is.
Translation: I remember the theme song to Rocky V, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.

Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself; it's no big deal.
Translation: I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.

I do help around the house.
Translation: I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket.

Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing.
Translation: I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon.

I can't find it.
Translation: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.

What did I do this time?
Translation: What did you catch me doing?


I heard you.
Translation: I have no idea what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me.

You look terrific.
Translation: Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving.

I missed you.
Translation: I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry, and we are out of toilet paper.

I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are.
Translation: I'm lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again.

We share the housework.
Translation: I make the messes, you clean them up.

This relationship is getting too serious.
Translation: You're cutting into the time I spend with my truck.

I don't need to read the instructions.
Translation: I am perfectly capable of messing it up without printed help.

Haven't I seen you before?
Translation: Nice ass.

I'm a Romantic.
Translation: I'm poor.

I need you.
Translation: My hand is tired.

I am different from all the other guys.
Translation: I am not circumcised.

I want a commitment.
Translation: I'm sick of masturbation.

You're the only girl I've ever cared about.
Translation: You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me.

I really want to get to know you better.
Translation: So I can tell my friends about it.

It's just orange juice, try it.
Translation: Three more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head.

She's kinda cute.
Translation: I want to have sex with her till I am blue.

I don't know if I like her.
Translation: She won't sleep with me.

I miss you so much.
Translation: I am so horny that my male roommate is starting to look good.

Was it good for you?
Translation: I'm insecure about my manhood.

How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?
Translation: Is my penis really that small?

I had a wonderful time last night.
Translation: Who the hell are you?

Do you love me?
Translation: I've done something stupid and you might find out.

Do you really love me?
Translation: I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later.

How much do you love me?
Translation: I've done something really stupid and someone's on their way to tell you by now.

I have something to tell you.
Translation: Get tested.

I'll give you a call.
Translation: I would rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again.

I've been thinking a lot.
Translation: You're not as attractive as when I was drunk.

I think we should just be friends.
Translation: You're ugly.

I've learned a lot from you.
Translation: Next!

Last edited by Rae; 03-30-2007 at 10:46 AM.
Katherine is offline  
post #8 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 10:40 AM
Low
First 1000 Member
 
Low's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Never Ending Season H-Town
Posts: 3,082
Send a message via AIM to Low
You do realize that Male Bashing is not allowed.... Right!?!
Low is offline  
post #9 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 10:42 AM
Knee Dragger
 
Katherine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 392
Send a message via MSN to Katherine
Does this mean I lose my hard-earned rep points?

And this isn't male bashing. Simply an exchange of ideas. I'm just trying to understand you better.

Katherine is offline  
post #10 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 10:48 AM
Rae
Supporting Member
'07 Rally Veteran
 
Rae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: NW, Florida
Posts: 5,213
I dont see it as male bashing, I see it as a fellow woman letting you guys know that when you say one thing, we have the translator (or if youve been a married for a few years you know from those wifely psychic powers) and we know EXACTLY what you really mean!!
Rae is offline  
post #11 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 10:49 AM
Sportbike Junkie
 
1hottbikechic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Frederick, MD
Posts: 668
Send a message via AIM to 1hottbikechic Send a message via Yahoo to 1hottbikechic
She earns my rep points That's for sure. Welcome to my life.... hahaha

Rockin it www.sportbikegurls.com!
Ride Smart, Ride Safe
1hottbikechic is offline  
post #12 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 10:49 AM Thread Starter
Chicken Strip
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 70
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katherine View Post
Does this mean I lose my hard-earned rep points?

And this isn't male bashing. Simply an exchange of ideas. I'm just trying to understand you better.

hun,
men are simple creatures, but we make it seem hard, just watch for 5 minutes and you will have us totally figured...that is if you are willing to accept that it is such, otherwise you will over analyze it just like most women

case in point...I told my fiance that I was talking to somone at work, she asked who, and I told her...she knows noone from my work, never a chance is why, but she got all butt hurt because she assumed it was a female and I was cheating on her...women are the ones that are impossible...I dunno any women named CHUCK!!!
AJCrader is offline  
post #13 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 10:53 AM
Factory Racer
 
devilstonic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 1,058
Battle of the sexes, let's fight!


SportbikeGurls.com Co-founder

devilstonic is offline  
post #14 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 10:55 AM
Knee Dragger
 
Katherine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 392
Send a message via MSN to Katherine
Wow. My rep points grew exponentially with that post. SWEET!
Katherine is offline  
post #15 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 10:58 AM
Knee Dragger
 
Katherine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 392
Send a message via MSN to Katherine
Quote:
Originally Posted by AJCrader View Post
I dunno any women named CHUCK!!!
I was this close *holds fingers minutely apart* to being named Grover, Jr.
Katherine is offline  
post #16 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 10:59 AM
TWF Board Of Directors
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 10,074
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katherine View Post
Wow. My rep points grew exponentially with that post. SWEET!
You have a long way to go newbie!
Rider is offline  
post #17 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 11:08 AM
Low
First 1000 Member
 
Low's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Never Ending Season H-Town
Posts: 3,082
Send a message via AIM to Low
Quote:
Originally Posted by devilstonic View Post
Battle of the sexes, let's fight!

Oh yeah... Now we Rollin'



hehe I have done my job for the day, Let's get it on!!

Low is offline  
post #18 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 11:50 AM
Factory Racer
 
devilstonic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 1,058
Quote:
Originally Posted by Low View Post
Oh yeah... Now we Rollin'



hehe I have done my job for the day, Let's get it on!!

You win, all my good ones are on my hard drive at home. Dang it! Defeated again! I guess I'll go to the kitchen get the beer and make a pie.


SportbikeGurls.com Co-founder

devilstonic is offline  
post #19 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 11:55 AM
Knee Dragger
 
Katherine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 392
Send a message via MSN to Katherine
Quote:
Originally Posted by devilstonic View Post
You win, all my good ones are on my hard drive at home.
I gotcha back, devilstonic.

(These are a little on the male bashing side, Low, just a little).

Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

Q: What do men and sperm have in common?
A:They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

Q: Why do men masturbate?
A: It's sex with someone they love.

Q: What is the difference between a toad and a horny toad?
A: One goes, "ribbit," the other goes, "rub it."

Q. What does a woman's ******* do when she is having an orgasm?
A. He is usually home with the kids!

Q: Why don't men have a mid-life crisis?
A: They're stuck in adolescence.

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they are practicing to be men.

Q: What is the definition of nothing?
A: When a man with an erection walks into a brick wall and injures his nose.
Katherine is offline  
post #20 of 47 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 11:57 AM
Factory Racer
 
devilstonic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 1,058
Awesome, thanks sista!!

Here are a couple I just remembered.

Q: Why are men like parking spaces?
A: The good ones are taken, the rest are handicap.

Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
A: Because their balls fall over their a$$holes and they vapor lock.

SportbikeGurls.com Co-founder

devilstonic is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome