Excerpts from your pet's diary... Dog vs Cat - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-29-2007, 08:30 PM Thread Starter
 
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Dog Vs Cat

________________________________




Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...
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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-29-2007, 08:55 PM
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________________________________




Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now...

That never gets old...
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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-29-2007, 08:59 PM
 
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that's funny.

i hate cats.
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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-29-2007, 09:02 PM
 
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Gotta love the kittahs!!

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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-29-2007, 09:04 PM
 
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that's funny too.
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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-29-2007, 09:06 PM Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by onesickpsycho View Post
That never gets old...
I've never seen it before...
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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-29-2007, 09:10 PM
 
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Here's one for the kittah haters...

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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 08:53 AM
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Death to the Haters!

We will get you!

Cuz we have BIG friends....
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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 08:57 AM
 
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I want a pet tiger!! Like this one:



Rawwrrr baby, yea!!

Last edited by devilstonic; 03-30-2007 at 09:14 AM.
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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 09:06 AM
 
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thats pretty funny ive never read that before but if you think about it its probably true in someway.
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post #11 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 09:30 AM
 
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That's great.
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post #12 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 10:45 AM
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Hum devilstonic, did that 'guy' lose a bet or something... because that 'guy' is looking awfully
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post #13 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 10:48 AM
 
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Hum devilstonic, did that 'guy' lose a bet or something... because that 'guy' is looking awfully
He must have, either that or he likes wearing children's clothing.
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post #14 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 05:08 PM
 
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damnit ebbs I would have repped ya on that one two...I'll get ya later...

that some funny chit....

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post #15 of 28 (permalink) Old 03-30-2007, 05:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by devilstonic View Post
I want a pet tiger!! Like this one:



Rawwrrr baby, yea!!


hmmm, oddly enough that looked like my Halloween outfit.

i was drunk and needed a costume to get into a party, i went to rite aide but all the adult costumes were dumb. So i bought a todler full body tiger outfit, and wore that... tore the arms and legs off and put them on over my work clothes, and i wore the hood (tiger head) over my head.

actually looked pretty cool, not flaming like that guy.


I still got it in the trunk of my car if you were serious DT
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post #16 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-25-2007, 11:58 AM
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Excerpts from your pet's diary... Dog vs Cat

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt
me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine
lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I
are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I
make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my
dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I
once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike
fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates
what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little
hunter" I am. Bastards!

There w as some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the
noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I
must learn what this means, and how to use it to my
advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking. I must try this again
tomorrow-- but at the top of the stairs. I am
convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies
and snitches. The dog receives special privileges.
He is regularly released - and seems to be more than
willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The
bird has got to be an informant. I observe him
communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain
that he reports my every more. My captors have
arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
cell, so he is safe. For now...




-Chris
aka Gas Man



Was: 2002 Kaw ZX-9R
IS:


is me till the
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post #17 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-25-2007, 11:59 AM
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post #18 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-25-2007, 11:59 AM
 
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I was hangin out w/ a girl that had cats last night, they were pretty cool. one had dandruff.

i think i've read this here before, but still funny
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post #19 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-25-2007, 12:10 PM
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Thats why im a dog fan, cats are too deppressing

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post #20 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-25-2007, 12:15 PM
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That never gets old...

As far as the dog vs. cat stuff... I love both... Dogs require A LOT more attention though... Which is why I have a cat...
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