A Motorcycle can always wait until you get home.
A Motorcycle doesn't care if you always spend the holidays with your family.
A Motorcycle doesn't flush the toilet while you are taking a shower.
A Motorcycle doesn't have softball practice on the day you move.
A Motorcycle doesn't turn your bathroom into a library.
A Motorcycle doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on, or hair spray.
A Motorcycle isn't allergic to your cat.
A Motorcycle never forgets to flush the toilet.
A Motorcycle never has to call "the wife".
A Motorcycle never leaves the toilet seat up.
A Motorcycle never suffers from performance anxiety.
A Motorcycle never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
A Motorcycle will always respect you in the morning.
A Motorcycle will never make a scene because there are other Motorcycles
A Motorcycle won't ask "Am I the first?".
A Motorcycle won't ask for a transfer just when you're up for promotion.
A Motorcycle won't ask to be put through Medical school.
A Motorcycle won't come home late, stinking of beer.
A Motorcycle won't consume all your food or liquors.
A Motorcycle won't drag you to a John Wayne Film Festival.
A Motorcycle won't eat all the popcorn or send you out to get Milk Duds.
A Motorcycle won't fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow.
A Motorcycle won't fall asleep too soon.
A Motorcycle won't grab cash from your purse while you're asleep.
A Motorcycle won't insist the little bikes be raised catholic, jewish, or orthodox vegetarian.
A Motorcycle won't leave town on New Year's Eve.
A Motorcycle won't lie to you about having a vasectomy.
A Motorcycle won't make you go to the drugstore.
A Motorcycle won't make you sleep on the wet spot.
A Motorcycle won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over.
A Motorcycle won't need to be sucked off.
A Motorcycle won't pout if you have a headache.
A Motorcycle won't run off with a cheerleader or an ex-nun.
A Motorcycle won't say "Let's keep trying until we have a boy.".
A Motorcycle won't take you to a disco and dump you for a flashy blonde.
A Motorcycle won't tell you he's outgrown you intellectually.
A Motorcycle won't tell you that size doesn't matter.
A Motorcycle won't want to come on your face.
A Motorcycle won't want to join your support group.
A Motorcycle won't wear shorts to your office party.
A Motorcycle won't work your crossword with ink.
With a Motorcycle, you don't have to play Florence Nightingale during
the flu season.
All Motorcycles are fresh and stiff.
Motorcycles aren't into leathers and chains, talking dirty, or swinging with fruits and nuts.
Motorcycles aren't jealous.
Motorcycles can get away any weekend.
Motorcycles can handle rejection.
Motorcycles don't care if you make more money than they do.
Motorcycles don't compare you to a centerfold.
Motorcycles don't leave dirty shorts on the floor.
Motorcycles don't leave you wondering for a month.
Motorcycles don't mind if you enjoy them and a movie at the same time.
Motorcycles don't play the guitar and try to find themselves.
Motorcycles don't tell you they like you better with longer hair.
Motorcycles never asnwer your phone or borrow your car.
Motorcycles never expect you to have little Motorcycles.
Motorcycles never have to tell you what they did while on vacation.
Motorcycles never want to take you home to mom.
Motorcycles stay hard for a week.
Motorcycles won't give you a hickey.
Motorcycles won't go through your medicine chest.
Motorcycles won't leave hair on the sink or a ring in the tub.
Motorcycles don't care if you are a virgin.
Motorcycles won't tell anyone you're not a virgin.
Motorcycles won't tell anyone you're not a virgin anymore.
Motorcycles won't tell other Motorcycles you're a virgin.
Motorcycles won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.
Motorcycles won't write your name and number on the men's room wall.
It's easy to drop a Motorcycle.
No matter what age group you are in, you can always get a fresh Motorcycle.
Nobody calls you a bigot for having a favorite kind of Motorcycle.
89. The average Motorcycle is at least seven inches long.
With a Motorcycle, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
With a Motorcycle, you never have to say you're sorry.
You always know where YOUR Motorcycle has been.
You can have as many Motorcycles as you can handle.
You can keep as many Motorcycles as you want.
You don't have to wait until halftime to talk to your Motorcycle.
A Motorcycle will never call and say, "I have to work late, honey." ...
and then come home with the smell of Channel No. 19 on him.
Motorcycles won't ask about your last lover...
...or speculate about your next.
You can fondle Motorcycles in a showroom...
...and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
A Motorcycle will never leave you for...
(a) another woman.
(b) another man.
(c) another Motorcycle.
A Motorcycle never...
(a) snaps your bra.
(b) pinches your butt.
(c) gives you a nuggy.
A Motorcycle will never...
(a) contest a divorce.
(b) demand a property settlement.
(c) seek custody of _anything_.
Afterwards, a Motorcycle won't...
(a) want to shake hands and be friends.
(b) say, "I'll call you a cab.".
(c) tell you he's not the marrying kind.
(d) tell you he is the marrying kind.
(e) call his mother, ex-wife, or therapist.
(f) take you to confession.
Motorcycles won't ask...
Am I the best?
How was it?
Did you come?
How many times?
Motorcycles won't make you...
(a) wear kinky clothes.
(b) go to be with your boots on.