A few motorcycle jokes
A biker went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the biker and asked, "Are you a real biker?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on Harleys. My momma was pregnant with me when she rode on the back of my Daddy's Harley, then as a little boy I rode on the back with my Daddy until I finally got my own Harley. I've been riding a Harley ever since. So yes, I guess I am a real biker."
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women; when I shower, watch TV, eat, whatever, everything seems to make me think of women." Then she got up and left.
The biker was thinking about what just happened when a man sat down next to the biker and asked, "Are you a real biker?"
He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."
A biker walks into a bar and sits next to another biker.
First biker - Hey, I'm Jimmy.
Second biker - I'm Brian
First biker - Where are you from?
Second biker - I'm from Long Island.
First biker - HEY, I'm from Long Island too! What part?
Second biker - Riverhead
First biker - WOW! I'm from riverhead too!! I live on the cul-de-sac
Second biker - MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!! I live in the cul-de-sac too!!!
First biker - Dude, this is getting scary. I live in the red house, next to the Wilsons
Second biker - NO FREAKIN WAY MAN!! HOW CAN THIS BE?!?!? I LIVE THERE TOO!!!
BARTENDER - OH, here we go again, the O'Connor brothers are so drunk, they don't recognize each other.
A Bro’ was walking down the street, sportin’ his colors when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. Instead of beating him to a bloody pulp, the Bro’ took out his wallet, extracted two dollars and said, "It took a lot of balls for you to hit me up money, so I’ve gotta believe you’re in bad shape. Let me ask you this. If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?" "Hell no," said the homeless man. "I stopped drinking 25 years ago."
"Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?" the Bro’ asked. "No, I don't gamble," the homeless man said. "I need every damn nickel I can get just to stay alive."
"Will you spend the money on motorcycles or anything related to hot rods instead of food?" the man asked. "Absolutely not!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't ridden in 20 years and I haven’t had a car for at least 5 years."
"Well," said the Bro’, "I lied man. I'm not going to give you two dollars. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my Old Lady."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, my clothes are ragged and I probably smell pretty bad."
The Bro’ replied, "Hey, man, that's okay! I just want her to see what a man looks like who's given up beer, gambling, motorcycles and cars!"