Kinda reminds me of people who call off to work... All their excuses are the same tired drivel that I have heard 10,000 times, but they think it's amazingly unique and well thought out... A couple of good ones:
'My cousin was shot'
"OMG, is he going to be ok? When did this happen? Are you two close?"
'Yeah, he's going to be ok, it was two weeks ago and it was just his foot.'
"Ok, I am really going to need you to come in."
'My aunt is in the hospital...' *click*
30 seconds later... 'Sorry, my phone died, I am on my sister's...'
"Oh, ok, why were you calling off?"
'We had a fire last night at my house.'
"Ok, how's your aunt?"
'Umm fine... Do you know her?'
"I'll see you by 5."
'My turtle's sick'
"You've gotta be kidding me"