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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 02:12 PM Thread Starter
 
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Funny medicine

Found this on another board and had to share.

These things were supposedly found in various medical charts.

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very
hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until
she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 02:30 PM
 
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 02:39 PM
 
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this is funny as hell ..wherd you find this ?
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 02:44 PM
 
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I've seen something like that floating around before, but yours is worded different..I like yours a TON better!

#6..I wish I could use that one rite now!
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 02:46 PM
 
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 03:12 PM
 
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thats good
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 04:29 PM
 
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Location: nashville,tn
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21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

that just great...

Quote:
They call me Mr. Saverok
Silence is golden: Duct tape is silver.
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 05:10 PM Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saverok View Post





21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

that just great...
That could be a compliment if you are talking about elephants
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