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post #1 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-06-2007, 07:18 AM Thread Starter
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Funny Ebay Ad

This is an older one but here is the text of the auction. Thought it would be fun to post some funny ebay ad's! I have some more to post!


This Helmet is like brand new. I bought it for my wife, but it's to
small for her big fat head.You know, it was all a big lie right from
the beginning. I asked her if she liked bikes, (i've been riding since
i was 9 years old.) She's like "Yeah, I love Motorcycles, they're
great!" Now, i'm thinking to myself, this chicks cool, she's hot, has
big boobs, and loves motorcycles. I gotta snag this one up
quick.Little did i know that as soon as i gave her the engagement
ring, all that would change. First, it was a subtle hint, you know,
that the wedding's going to be expensive, and that that band costs
just as much as my motorcycle. With all these wedding plans going on,
i hardly have time to ride my bike. I'm schleping all over the state
looking at reception halls, listening to cheesy wedding bands, and
picking out floral arrangements. She brings up the fact that i havn't
ridden my bike in a while now, (No kidding!! She won't let me out of
her sight for more than 5 minutes!) and that maybe i should sell it.
Now, that brings a whole lot of tension into the situation. I'm like
no way! Then i notice that our sex life has reduced dramatically. A
man has gotta do, what he's gotta do, so, i sell the bike, thinking
that things will get better. She promises me, that as soon as we get
married, she'll get a good job, and then i can get another bike. We
get married, and we're having sex everyday. Life is good. The Evil One
is looking for work for like, 6 months. I find it hard to believe that
she can't find a damn job, but who am i to say? She's just holding out
for that Management position she says. To be quite honest, i really
don't care, she's cleaning my pipes better than Roto Rooter. Then the
kicker�She tells me she's pregnant. All the while i thought she was
on the pill! I ask her how this happened, and she said the pill gave
her facial hair. (I really couldn't see a difference, after all she is
Italian). Fast Foward 9 months�i'm out breaking my back doing manual
labor, she's a big, fat, hairy lipped beach ball, with the disposition
of a rabid Pit Bull. Nothing i say, or do is good enough for her. The
day she gave birth, i thought again, that things will change for the
better. WRONG!! Now everythings about the baby. Me, i'm second fiddle.
Sex life? Ha! The only time i get some action is when i see her breast
feeding the little bastard! I'm going crazy, at least if i had a
motorcycle, i could take out some of my frustration. Even the guys at
work notice how miserable i've been. One day, my partner rolls up on a
brand new bike. I wanted to commit suicide. He knows how bad i wanted
another bike. He see's the look in my eye, and asks me if i would like
to take it out for a spin Friday night. It was truly the first time i
lit up since marrying that bitch. Friday rolls around, i cash my
check, and head on over to my partners house. I cruise around for a
while, and end up at this little bar on the edge of town. I head up to
the bar, place my helmet on it, and order a beer. I look over and see
this little hottie chatting it up with her friends. I notice that the
eye contact is getting more and more frequent. After a few more
minutes, she walks over to me and tells me she just loves motorcycles.
That they get her "excited". I ask her if she wants to go for a ride.
Her beautifully full lips widen with a pearly white smile. I take that
as a yes. I grab her by the hand, and lead her to the bike. She straps
on the spare helmet that was on the bike, and away we go. We ride for
hours. She taps me on the shoulder, and tells me her apartment is on
the next block. Would i want to stop in for a while and have another
beer. Who am i to say no? I watch her lead the way, and i can't keep
my eyes off of her tight lil' behind. I think back to the days when
old hippo ass looked like this. Well, once upstairs, one beer turned
into two, and so on. The next thing i know, i'm in bed with her, and
she was amazing! It was the best expierence i have ever had. Right
then i had an epiphany. I had to be happy. I wasn't going to live a
miserable existance for the rest of my life and something had to be
done. Long story short, i left my hairy beast of a wife. (She's done
good since i left. She remarried an Appliance salesman named Harold.)
While i was moving out, i came across the helmet. I don't ever want to
be reminded of my miserable past life, so please, make a bid. I have a
motorcycle payment to make! The helmet has no scratches, size MED and
I would rate it a 9 out of 10 Winning bidder to Pay with PAYPAL ONLY.
Winning Bidder to pay all Shipping costs. I ship UPS ONLY. No Zero or
Negative Feedback Bidders.

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post #2 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-06-2007, 07:36 AM
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THAT'S AWESOME!!!
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post #3 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-06-2007, 07:44 AM
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believe its a repost, still funny

2005 Honda CRF88RR - 2007 Honda CBR600RR
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post #4 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-06-2007, 07:49 AM Thread Starter
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I searched for it and didn't see it...maybe I am blind LOL

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post #5 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-06-2007, 07:52 AM
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post #6 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-06-2007, 08:09 AM
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GOOD story......


Difference between a Harley and a Hoover is the position of the DIRTBAG.
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post #7 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-06-2007, 08:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twinkies View Post
I searched for it and didn't see it...maybe I am blind LOL
yep repost, ad isn't linkable anymore though.

https://www.twowheelforum.com/showthread.php?t=1157

2005 Honda CRF88RR - 2007 Honda CBR600RR
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post #8 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-06-2007, 08:24 AM Thread Starter
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From 3 years ago lol!!!

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post #9 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-06-2007, 08:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twinkies View Post
From 3 years ago lol!!!
Well that is when the ad was put on ebay.

2005 Honda CRF88RR - 2007 Honda CBR600RR
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post #10 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-06-2007, 08:51 AM
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post #11 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-06-2007, 10:22 AM
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post #12 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-06-2007, 02:09 PM
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Anyone else feel that if the story is true that guy is a real ass.


Difference between a Harley and a Hoover is the position of the DIRTBAG.
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post #13 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-07-2007, 05:36 PM
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Nope. You're all alone on that one. His wife sucks.
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post #14 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-07-2007, 06:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Audiomechanic View Post
Nope. You're all alone on that one. His wife sucks.
i like what he said logan!

funny story, cant believe i read it all the way thru! i am a god at reading! thank you very much!

01 CBR929RE ------------- 01 DRZ400S SOLD ------------ 95 CBR900RR

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post #15 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-07-2007, 06:10 PM
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That was hilarious. He does sound like an ass though. Wonder if the second chick turned out to be the same way as the first....
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post #16 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-07-2007, 06:14 PM Thread Starter
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You know women.....

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post #17 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-07-2007, 06:25 PM
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poor bastard... godforbid i end up going through that. she hates the bike as it is... and got pizzeded when i told her i'd buy another one when i get enough seat time.


vroom vroom
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post #18 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-07-2007, 06:32 PM
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i'd get divorced over a woman telling me to stop riding...the bike came beofre her and it certianly will be there after.
I'm sure theres more to the story then he said, as to why there was no sex life, but i seriously can related to the baby and sex thing....I got lucky the baby wasnt mine! I'd love a wife over the bike, but dont have to get rid of the bike and stop riding to love her. Sounds like he learned enough that if the new girl pulled the same thing shed be gone this time around, not the bike!

Good post

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post #19 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-07-2007, 06:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Audiomechanic View Post
Nope. You're all alone on that one. His wife sucks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by twinkies View Post
You know women.....


you and my wife don't seem that way...

but I would have to say my wife I actually knew REALLY wanted to ride....She had a dirt bike before we married.

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post #20 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-07-2007, 07:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saverok View Post





but I would have to say my wife I actually knew REALLY wanted to ride....She had a dirt bike before we married.
man i got the shaft, my wife came w/ her own set of high interest credit card bills. i got her to ride a ninja 2fiddy for a year but not her cup of tea. now she babbles about kids while i try to inform her of the importance of a new gixxer 1000. im making absolutly no head way but i never give up.

01 CBR929RE ------------- 01 DRZ400S SOLD ------------ 95 CBR900RR

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