Philosophy of Ambiguity For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity... - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 09:29 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,162
Philosophy of Ambiguity For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity...

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6 . I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
22. One nice thing about egotists: They don`t talk about other people.
23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God
Brizz is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 09:30 AM
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 9,233
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brizz View Post
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
I always use that quote in my sig at Christmas time.
neebelung is offline  
post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 09:30 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,162
Sorry im trying to break out of my bad mood.
Brizz is offline  
post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 09:39 AM
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,809
I will stick this here Maybe it will make Brizz Smile


Everything I Really Need to Know in Life, I Learned from Star Wars



1. Never trust men in dark helmets

2. It really isn't necessary to be fluent in over six million forms of communication.

3. Before kissing ANYBODY, make sure they're not related to you.

4. You may have family members in suprisingly high positions

5. Before you kill someone make sure they aren't your father

6. THIS goes there, THAT goes there

7. Cute cuddly widdle teddy bears usually will eat you alive unless you can prove you are a god.

8. Never stand on a trap door leading to a Rancor pit

9. Never,never,never underestimate the power of the Dark Side

10. Its never my fault

11. There are those who are less forgiving than Vader

12. Always let the Wookie win

13. Whining about something never helps. (Tosche Station)

14. Watch your hands when sword fighting

15. Electricity really hurts

16. Never tell someone the odds

17. Always accept apologies

18. Try not. Do or do not. There is no try

19. Don't get cocky

20. Don't try to make friends via the Death Star com-link

21. Mind what you have learned, save you it can

22. Don't jump down garbage chutes

23. The hard part of a jail-break is getting out; plan for it.

24. Cold weather can cause one to hallucinate

25. Blowing on a torch will not put it out

26. Don't use technology you don't understand

27. Never underestimate the powers of a Jedi

28. Don't give into your anger

29. Grasping at your throat will not stop the choking

30. You shouldn't always listen to your parents
TaintedLove is offline  
post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 09:54 AM
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 9,233
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brizz View Post
Sorry im trying to break out of my bad mood.
No apologies necessary.. it's a great list!!

Why so grumpy, Brizzy?
neebelung is offline  
post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 09:58 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,162
Not sure..Ever woken up and was in a bad mood for no reason at all?
Brizz is offline  
post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 10:10 AM
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,058


I snort laughed when I read these ones.

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

I hope your day gets better hun!
devilstonic is offline  
post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 10:39 AM
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 9,233
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brizz View Post
Not sure..Ever woken up and was in a bad mood for no reason at all?
Hmmm... very rarely. But it happens. Just try to avoid people at all costs, as they'll wear on your nerves quickly. Hopefully it'll all be better tomorrow.
neebelung is offline  
post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 11:03 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,673
I always thought #1 should read... Don't sweat the petty things, but pet the sweaty things...
OneSickPsycho is offline  
post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 11:13 AM
TWF Champion
 
Phenix_Rider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: SouthWest, PA
Posts: 3,230
Send a message via AIM to Phenix_Rider
Quote:
Originally Posted by neebelung View Post
Hmmm... very rarely. But it happens. Just try to avoid people at all costs, as they'll wear on your nerves quickly. Hopefully it'll all be better tomorrow.
Heh- that sounds like me everyday

Check This: Hot New Artist Sailing up the charts!

'07 Ninja 650R Candy Plasma Blue
Got Gear?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NONE_too_SOFT View Post
All riders take risks- what you wear usually reflects your respect for the bike and general knowledge of riding.
Phenix_Rider is offline  
post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 11:47 AM
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 142
Nice list
Mutag is offline  
post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 12:01 PM
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 9,233
Quote:
Originally Posted by onesickpsycho View Post
I always thought #1 should read... Don't sweat the petty things, but pet the sweaty things...
That's how I read it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phenix_Rider View Post
Heh- that sounds like me everyday
Oh hardly... I've never seen (well, read) you bein' grumpy!!
neebelung is offline  
post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 12:10 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,162
Brizz is offline  
post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 12:21 PM
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,058
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brizz View Post
This pic should be posted in your other thread about gettin stuck behind the secksay styles.
devilstonic is offline  
post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 12:29 PM
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 9,233
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brizz View Post
Icanhascheezeburger ALWAYS makes ya feel better...
neebelung is offline  
post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 06-13-2007, 12:56 PM
TWF Champion
 
Phenix_Rider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: SouthWest, PA
Posts: 3,230
Send a message via AIM to Phenix_Rider
Quote:
Originally Posted by neebelung View Post
That's how I read it.


Quote:
Originally Posted by neebelung View Post
Oh hardly... I've never seen (well, read) you bein' grumpy!!
Awww

Check This: Hot New Artist Sailing up the charts!

'07 Ninja 650R Candy Plasma Blue
Got Gear?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NONE_too_SOFT View Post
All riders take risks- what you wear usually reflects your respect for the bike and general knowledge of riding.
Phenix_Rider is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome