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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-19-2007, 08:18 AM Thread Starter
 
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Creative Writing 101

Buddy sent me this:

You know that book Men are from Mars, Women from Venus? Well, here's a prime example of that. This assignment was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted) and Gary (last name deleted).


English 44A
SMU
Creative Writing
Prof. Miller
In-class Assignment for Wednesday


Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.

Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.


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At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her Asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
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Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.

"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his trans-galactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.


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He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.

"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel." Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her.

She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth -- when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.


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Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race.

Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans.

The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"


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This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.
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Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
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A$$hole,
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Bitch.
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-19-2007, 08:38 AM
 
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Bet you didn't count on that assignment turning out like that professor.

That was a disaster waiting to happen though. Dif people have dif thoughts and ways of thinking. Sure some people can work togeather and wright a great paper, then theres others that simply cannot do it. I'm one of the ones who if I have to wright a paper, I'm doing it myself.
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-19-2007, 08:45 AM
 
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That is awesome! I would love to try that with someone, just to see how different we really are.

Great story too...
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-19-2007, 09:18 AM
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lock those two in a room for a few hours and see what happens

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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-19-2007, 09:21 AM
 
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LOL if we did this as a thread on TWF....it could get ugly! Might be good entertainment.
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-19-2007, 09:32 AM
 
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we did that as a thread for a while, each person posted one sentance or so... Let me find it....
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-19-2007, 09:34 AM
 
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Twinks did this at her place, it lived for a while and then kinda of died out. But it was fun while it lasted.
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-19-2007, 09:35 AM
 
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Here you go TWF "The Story Thread"
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-19-2007, 09:59 AM
 
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Good thing I said something before doing something stupid and reposted it!! Thanks guys!

That's some funny chit.
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-19-2007, 10:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justpucky View Post
Here you go TWF "The Story Thread"
I didn't look, but I think that is the same one in which Trip displayed his ability to say "the end" in about 20 difference languages...
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-19-2007, 10:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onesickpsycho View Post
I didn't look, but I think that is the same one in which Trip displayed his ability to say "the end" in about 20 difference languages...
That would be it. They wouldn't end it though.

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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 07-19-2007, 10:41 AM
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Oh BTW, you forgot the end of that story you just posted. It had a couple more lines left on it.


(Rebecca)
F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.


(TEACHER)
A+ ......... I really liked this one.

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