a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft.
house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can
3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a
42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is
however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all Four
walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using a ceiling fan
as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you
get a hit. A ceiling fan
can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a 36-year-old man says
they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
11.) Playdough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do
not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in La Mesa, CA has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or
This is hilarious! However, I do believe I've read this before...I may be mistaken, but I believe Marion Bond West was the author of this. I've read many things from her about her children, and I just have to say it must have been interesting living in that household. See, I'm not much one for babies, but I love the stage when they do these kinds of things! I never did this kind of stuff because I knew my parents would have beat the $h!t outta me, so I guess I get to relive my childhood, even this kind of stuff, through him. Awesome quote!
nothing like waking up in the am to crayon all over the wall, cheerios on the floor, the heater turned up full blast, toys everywhere, the TV blastin, clothes on the floor, the kid chasing the dog whos chasin the cats..
My 9 mo son is always crawling around smiling and i figured out why!!!!!!!!! He's thinking about all the ruckus he can cause when he's able to walk!! j/k about the clorox!!!!!!!!
Now what you need to do is make sure you videotape all the stuff he does. Then when gets older and has children of his own and comes to you and says "Dad I just understand why they do this stuff" You can break out the video and show him why!!
And along the same lines as what Carrie was saying...show there girlfriend or boyfriend when they bring them over for you to meet. hehehe Nothing like watching your childs face turn bright red real quick.