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post #1 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 08:35 AM Thread Starter
 
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A question for the Ladies

Ok Ladies..so we all have been down that road of total "awe" and admiration for someone. More so let's call it "head over heels" for someone. Let's say the guy you thought was IT (or the "it factor" I call him) pretty much led you on the entire stint of the "relationship" and just all of a sudden gave up. Even after you fought tooth and nail for this person. ONLY because you felt like HE was worth fighting for. How do you get over it? Oh and believe me..I've been drinking like a fish for the past month now...it doesn't help. Chances are it'll help for the time of drinking..then you go home and face **** ALONE and back to square one. It's not that Im weak...it's just that at my age..I really don't have time for drama, chaos and the like! Not to mention he did it the cowardly way, I had to hear it from his friend!! Not him! Any opinions, suggestions would greatly be appreciated.
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post #2 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 08:39 AM
 
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Time. Really, that's the only way to get over it.... Drinking excessively, while attractive on the surface, really isn't going to do much good (esp if you're bordering on depression at all)....

Allow yourself time, allow yourself to feel pain, sadness, anger... all of it. Don't try to rush the whole healing process - it's better to allow yourself to feel the whole spectrum of emotions.

And surround yourself with friends. Get out and DO stuff, have fun (even when you think you won't be able to)....

And there there'll come a day where you realize he wasn't worth all of the pain and agony, that he wasn't worthy of you (afterall, what kind of coward has a friend break that sort of news), and you'll start to feel better, a little bit at a time....
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post #3 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 08:40 AM
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Sleep with lots of guys. You'll get over him real quick.
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post #4 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 08:42 AM
 
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Sleep with lots of guys. You'll get over him real quick.
Only if they're "better" than the one she's tryin' to get over!
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post #5 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by neebelung View Post
Time. Really, that's the only way to get over it.... Drinking excessively, while attractive on the surface, really isn't going to do much good (esp if you're bordering on depression at all)....

Allow yourself time, allow yourself to feel pain, sadness, anger... all of it. Don't try to rush the whole healing process - it's better to allow yourself to feel the whole spectrum of emotions.

And surround yourself with friends. Get out and DO stuff, have fun (even when you think you won't be able to)....

And there there'll come a day where you realize he wasn't worth all of the pain and agony, that he wasn't worthy of you (afterall, what kind of coward has a friend break that sort of news), and you'll start to feel better, a little bit at a time....
Nee hit it right on the head, thats exactly it. The biggest thing is to go out and have FUN with friends, even if you dont think you can. You'll be surprised at how distracted you can get. My hubby and I are doing that right now for a single friend of ours, he just went thru a hella bad break up and is totally tore up, so we call him and talk to him often, and we take him out to bike nights and bring him out to hang out with us on the weekends so he's not sitting at home getting depressed.

And alcohol is BAD, it's a depressant and is not good when you are already depressed.
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post #6 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:04 AM
 
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Originally Posted by RedRidingHood View Post
Ok Ladies..so we all have been down that road of total "awe" and admiration for someone. More so let's call it "head over heels" for someone. Let's say the guy you thought was IT (or the "it factor" I call him) pretty much led you on the entire stint of the "relationship" and just all of a sudden gave up. Even after you fought tooth and nail for this person. ONLY because you felt like HE was worth fighting for. How do you get over it? Oh and believe me..I've been drinking like a fish for the past month now...it doesn't help. Chances are it'll help for the time of drinking..then you go home and face **** ALONE and back to square one. It's not that Im weak...it's just that at my age..I really don't have time for drama, chaos and the like! Not to mention he did it the cowardly way, I had to hear it from his friend!! Not him! Any opinions, suggestions would greatly be appreciated.
I have been there and sometimes you don't! I don't drink so that has never helped me! I don't think I have been led on but I have been given up on. And it hurts horribly. Sometimes its best to just move on, if he led you on he isn't worth it anyhow. Just be careful some guys will see you happy with someone else and decide they ****ed up. Then the ball is in your court. If he comes crawling back is he worth it? Men just suck sometimes!! Some are selfish and only think about thier feelings! You need to find a guy who cherishes you and cares about you not just gettin him a piece!
Drinking is never the answer. Its just leads to more problems. Try a new hobby or do something good with your free time!
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post #7 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:09 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RedRidingHood View Post
Ok Ladies..so we all have been down that road of total "awe" and admiration for someone. More so let's call it "head over heels" for someone. Let's say the guy you thought was IT (or the "it factor" I call him) pretty much led you on the entire stint of the "relationship" and just all of a sudden gave up. Even after you fought tooth and nail for this person. ONLY because you felt like HE was worth fighting for. How do you get over it? Oh and believe me..I've been drinking like a fish for the past month now...it doesn't help. Chances are it'll help for the time of drinking..then you go home and face **** ALONE and back to square one. It's not that Im weak...it's just that at my age..I really don't have time for drama, chaos and the like! Not to mention he did it the cowardly way, I had to hear it from his friend!! Not him! Any opinions, suggestions would greatly be appreciated.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Personally I would find that mo fo and knock his teeth down this throat.

I think what you need is closure...if that means that you find him and kick him where it counts, then do it. If that means that you find some clever way to embarrass him in front of his new girl (if he has one), then do that too. Until you get the closure that you need, everything about the relationship is going to eat away at you.

Drinking will not solve your problems it only hides them. It hides what you're feeling. The only way to overcome it is to confront it. It's been a very long time since I've let someone in like that. It is hard, but you are the only one that can control how the situation makes you feel. Get the closure that you need, and live your life for you.
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post #8 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:13 AM
 
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Originally Posted by devilstonic View Post
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Personally I would find that mo fo and knock his teeth down this throat.

I think what you need is closure...if that means that you find him and kick him where it counts, then do it. If that means that you find some clever way to embarrass him in front of his new girl (if he has one), then do that too. Until you get the closure that you need, everything about the relationship is going to eat away at you.

Drinking will not solve your problems it only hides them. It hides what you're feeling. The only way to overcome it is to confront it. It's been a very long time since I've let someone in like that. It is hard, but you are the only one that can control how the situation makes you feel. Get the closure that you need, and live your life for you.

Something tells me you enjoy that new song by Carrie Underwood.
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post #9 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:14 AM
 
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Something tells me you enjoy that new song by Carrie Underwood.
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

That one?
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post #10 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:16 AM
 
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Originally Posted by TaintedLove View Post
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

That one?
I'm not a country fan, but that song is classic...
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post #11 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:17 AM
 
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I'm not a country fan, but that song is classic...
I played it alot a few months back LOL!!! It was my ringtone too. But I am not a country fan either!
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post #12 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by TaintedLove View Post
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

That one?
Well the funny thing about that is that there is no such thing as 'cheating' with me. I'm a pretty open minded person. What could be considered cheating with some people, seems like good clean fun for the whole family to me.
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post #13 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:22 AM Thread Starter
 
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Hehe

Quote:
Originally Posted by VatorMan View Post
Something tells me you enjoy that new song by Carrie Underwood.
Yea not a country fan eithier..but that song has gutts..and totally what I needed to hear when it came out. Although it wasn't a matter of cheating per say..it still hits him where it hurts.."precious toys all f'd up" hah.
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post #14 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:24 AM Thread Starter
 
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Anyone?

Quote:
Originally Posted by devilstonic View Post
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Personally I would find that mo fo and knock his teeth down this throat.

I think what you need is closure...if that means that you find him and kick him where it counts, then do it. If that means that you find some clever way to embarrass him in front of his new girl (if he has one), then do that too. Until you get the closure that you need, everything about the relationship is going to eat away at you.

Drinking will not solve your problems it only hides them. It hides what you're feeling. The only way to overcome it is to confront it. It's been a very long time since I've let someone in like that. It is hard, but you are the only one that can control how the situation makes you feel. Get the closure that you need, and live your life for you.
Oh believe me..I hear ya! Right now I'm over the shedding tears for the ****er..I want to rip out his heart and shove up his A**! Or choke him while laughing the entire time. Strap him to a chair naked and paper cut him with grade A xerox paper and throw rubbing alcohol over him..light him on fire..Oh yea...lol. Not that I'd do all that, but..it helps to think it over

Anyone live around Houston? lol
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post #15 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by RedRidingHood View Post
Oh believe me..I hear ya! Right now I'm over the shedding tears for the ****er..I want to rip out his heart and shove up his A**! Or choke him while laughing the entire time. Strap him to a chair naked and paper cut him with grade A xerox paper and throw rubbing alcohol over him..light him on fire..Oh yea...lol. Not that I'd do all that, but..it helps to think it over

Anyone live around Houston? lol
lol, no but we could gather a posse, I think southwest flies down there CHEAP!!
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post #16 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:27 AM Thread Starter
 
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Depression

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rae View Post
Nee hit it right on the head, thats exactly it. The biggest thing is to go out and have FUN with friends, even if you dont think you can. You'll be surprised at how distracted you can get. My hubby and I are doing that right now for a single friend of ours, he just went thru a hella bad break up and is totally tore up, so we call him and talk to him often, and we take him out to bike nights and bring him out to hang out with us on the weekends so he's not sitting at home getting depressed.

And alcohol is BAD, it's a depressant and is not good when you are already depressed.

Indeed. Depression sucks, and unfortunately I was hit w/ that "label" early on in my teen years. It helps that I work in club environment..but there's the alcohol factor..sooo easy to just grab a drink and "forget". You and your hubby are good ppl for helping that man out!! Thanks for the advice
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post #17 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:27 AM
 
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lol, no but we could gather a posse, I think southwest flies down there CHEAP!!
Voodoo anyone?? :P
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post #18 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:29 AM Thread Starter
 
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Damn!

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Originally Posted by devilstonic View Post
lol, no but we could gather a posse, I think southwest flies down there CHEAP!!

Sounds tempting..however, I have spent over 1g to get to see him when he lived in Diego. Any wonder why I don't have a bike!!! (myself)!
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post #19 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:29 AM
 
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I actually have a voodoo doll from New Orleans. Any one here practice voodoo?
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post #20 of 138 (permalink) Old 07-26-2007, 09:31 AM Thread Starter
 
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Better

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Originally Posted by Rider View Post
Sleep with lots of guys. You'll get over him real quick.
Been there, done that..doesn't help because the majority of guys I find that I attract are little submissive bitches that can't handle "my sex". So there again...screwed. I need a man w/ intelligence, and ****ing set of nutts..anyone like that round' here? lol
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