63 ways to piss off a Cop - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
 
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-20-2007, 08:40 PM Thread Starter
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63 ways to piss off a Cop

1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.

4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if you can see his gun.

6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him by his first name.

11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out.

12. When he says no, cry.

13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.

14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.

15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.

16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.

17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"

18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.

19. After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."

20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.

21. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.

22. When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"

23. Trip and fall into him.

24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.

25. Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.

26. Chew on the pen, nervously.

27. Clean your ear with the pen.

28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.

29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....

30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.

31. Act like you are retarded.

32. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.

33. Mumble to yourself.

34. When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?

35. Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......

36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.

37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!

38. Ask if he watches Cops.

39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.

40. Giggle if he did.

41. Talk to your hand.

42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.

43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.

44. When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.

45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.

46. Try to sell him your car.

47. Ask if you can buy his car.

48. If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.

49. Play with the siren.

50. If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.

51. If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner

52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.

53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.

54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.

55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.

56. When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.

57. Turn your head and whistle.

58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.

59. If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.

60. If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.

61. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"

62. Tell him you like men in uniform.

63. Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party.


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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-20-2007, 08:42 PM
 
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-20-2007, 09:08 PM
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oh yeah, yur going under the jail.

'99 Kawasaki Ninja ZX-7R, My 3/4 Liter
".. speed, you can't touch it, but you damn sure can feel it! "
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-20-2007, 09:19 PM
 
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Or if you are drunk take the labels off the beer bottles and stick them on your forehead. When he asks you "Have you been drinking" say "No. I'm on the Patch"
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-20-2007, 09:44 PM
 
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or if he asks why u ran tell him "u wouldnt stop chasing me"...then file a lawsuit saying hes a reckless driver and get put on tv to show off ur busa
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-20-2007, 11:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by upshift View Post
or if he asks why u ran tell him "u wouldnt stop chasing me"...then file a lawsuit saying hes a reckless driver and get put on tv to show off ur busa
lol. Number 7 really pisses off cops. Btw if you even touch them they can charge you with assault on an officer so I wouldn't advise it. When I was little I used to ride along with the Sheriffs because my aunt was a sheriff and my moms a judge. Watched a guy get nightsticked (not sure if thats a word lol) because he came up behind an officer and tapped him on the shoulder.
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-21-2007, 12:07 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Ineffable View Post
lol. Number 7 really pisses off cops. Btw if you even touch them they can charge you with assault on an officer so I wouldn't advise it. When I was little I used to ride along with the Sheriffs because my aunt was a sheriff and my moms a judge. Watched a guy get nightsticked (not sure if thats a word lol) because he came up behind an officer and tapped him on the shoulder.
"Excuse me offi.." WHAK!
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-21-2007, 12:35 AM
 
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lol I had a cop pull his gun on me once because my friend broke down on the highway and called me. A cop happened to pull over right before I got there and I was getting out my my truck when he got out of his cruiser and he flipped ****. guess he thought it was an ambush or something. I wasnt really mad I kinda felt bad because the cop looked scared ****less until we explained ourselves.
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-21-2007, 01:05 AM
 
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Yes. Never try to touch a cop, you'll get pinned to the ground pretty damn fast. I have a friend who asked a cop if he would taser him once, he said no though.
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-21-2007, 01:08 AM
 
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i found that askin them y they pulled u over when u knwo y really seems 2 make them mad
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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-21-2007, 09:14 AM
 
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I constantly offer to buy a cops car from him, I dont understand why they say no. I'm offering em $20 for a crown vic, thats fair isnt it?
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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-21-2007, 09:16 AM
 
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For a crown vic thats abit high. I would offer him a 6pack and a box of Popeyes chicken.
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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-21-2007, 09:25 AM
 
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For a crown vic thats abit high. I would offer him a 6pack and a box of Popeyes chicken.



mmmmmmm Popeyes
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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-21-2007, 09:27 AM
 
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I found a good way to piss them off is tell them in a calm voice while looking them right in the eye, "dude, take the cuffs off- we can go behind the store and settle this old school". LOL- yeah well he didnt remove the cuffs- I think I might have embarrased him infront of the other two cops... But guess who spent the night in jail.
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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-21-2007, 09:43 AM
 
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Originally Posted by TOMMYTOM View Post
I found a good way to piss them off is tell them in a calm voice while looking them right in the eye, "dude, take the cuffs off- we can go behind the store and settle this old school". LOL- yeah well he didnt remove the cuffs- I think I might have embarrased him infront of the other two cops... But guess who spent the night in jail.
one of my buddies is a cop, I think I'll say that the next time he arrests me. he might get a laugh out of it, or just kick my ____
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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-21-2007, 11:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by George Carlin
Hey, you're a public servant... Go get me a glass of water!
Cops love that one.
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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 09-21-2007, 12:48 PM
 
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Might as well just say "taser me b*tch !!"...and then...
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