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post #1 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 01:38 PM Thread Starter
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ATM. Men vs Women

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender."
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.


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post #2 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 01:40 PM
 
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post #4 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 01:42 PM
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100% accurate.
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post #5 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 01:59 PM
 
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"26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles."
"27. Release Parking Brake."

"WHAT'S THAT DAMN SMELL?"
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post #6 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 02:01 PM
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so true...


Saw ATM, thought something TOTALLY different...

Been hanging around OSP WAY too long!

Quote:
Originally Posted by drewpy View Post
they make the one i posted in a strap on version
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post #7 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 02:02 PM
 
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post #8 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 02:07 PM
 
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Oh you better boy, the ladies will be here in a minute to you.
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post #9 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 02:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bikergal View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shift View Post
Oh you better boy, the ladies will be here in a minute to you.
Naw- they know its true.
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post #10 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 02:10 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shift View Post
Oh you better boy, the ladies will be here in a minute to you.
hey my sister sent to me
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post #11 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 02:10 PM
 
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Bro thats some funny ****
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post #12 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 02:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TOMMYTOM View Post
"26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles."
"27. Release Parking Brake."

"WHAT'S THAT DAMN SMELL?"
I had to beep and flash my lights about 100 times to get this dumb bitch to stop the other day. She was driving a BRAND NEW BMW.... and she's pouring smoke out the right rear tire and it smells like chit. She finally pulls over and I told her her parking brake was on...
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post #13 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 02:28 PM
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copy n paste to email... send to wife who runs a bank...




-Chris
aka Gas Man



Was: 2002 Kaw ZX-9R
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is me till the
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post #14 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 02:31 PM
 
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post #15 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 03:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ceo012384 View Post
I had to beep and flash my lights about 100 times to get this dumb bitch to stop the other day. She was driving a BRAND NEW BMW.... and she's pouring smoke out the right rear tire and it smells like chit. She finally pulls over and I told her her parking brake was on...
You might think she would notice the induced drag... ? But I guess not. LOL
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post #16 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 03:43 PM
 
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post #17 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 03:50 PM
 
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You would be surprised. I was sitting at a stop light once with an ex GF and put on the E-Brake when she wasnt looking and she drove a good 5 miles before she noticed the smoke in the back window and the smell.
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post #18 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 04:36 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TOMMYTOM View Post
You might think she would notice the induced drag... ? But I guess not. LOL
A woman? nahhh.
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post #19 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 04:46 PM
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sadly enough, after working for years at a bank, this is SOOO true...

my all time fave was also the one where they would pull up to the glass, where there was obviously NO drawer and no speaker and try to speak to me thru the bullet proof glass!!
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post #20 of 51 (permalink) Old 09-25-2007, 05:51 PM
 
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I use to forget the E-brake every once and awhile in my jeep. It had enough torque that Id forget and didnt notice it... But It didnt really work all that well
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