Another couple jokes... - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
 
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-26-2007, 12:47 PM Thread Starter
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Another couple jokes...

Two jumper cables go into the bar and ask for a drink... The bartender looks at them and says, "We usually don't serve your kind, but I can make an exception if you promise not to start anything."

A wife wants to get something special for her husband for their anniversary... He has always gone on and on about her 'Beautiful Butt' so she decides to get that tattooed... on her butt... When she works up the courage to get it done she quickly realizes it is way to painful for her to bear, so she decides to compromise and just get the initials 'B.B.'... She gets home that evening and is very excited to show her husband... After a romantic dinner she slips into something sexy and seductively dances for her husband... Finally she says, "I've got something very special for you" turns around and bends over... Her husband replies, "That's great, but who's 'Bob'?"
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-26-2007, 01:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OneSickPsycho View Post
Two jumper cables go into the bar and ask for a drink... The bartender looks at them and says, "We usually don't serve your kind, but I can make an exception if you promise not to start anything."

A wife wants to get something special for her husband for their anniversary... He has always gone on and on about her 'Beautiful Butt' so she decides to get that tattooed... on her butt... When she works up the courage to get it done she quickly realizes it is way to painful for her to bear, so she decides to compromise and just get the initials 'B.B.'... She gets home that evening and is very excited to show her husband... After a romantic dinner she slips into something sexy and seductively dances for her husband... Finally she says, "I've got something very special for you" turns around and bends over... Her husband replies, "That's great, but who's 'Bob'?"
ah ha ha ah ha

whose B(_*_)B
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-26-2007, 01:20 PM
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Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest. The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France." The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door. "Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon."

****************************

A wife says to her friend, "Our sex life stinks." Her friend says, "Do you ever watch your husband's face when you're having sex?" She says, "Once, and I saw rage." Her friend says, "Why would he be angry during sex?" The wife says, "Because he was looking through the window at us."

Good [email protected]#$ ain't cheap, and cheap [email protected]#$ ain't good.



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The only difference between suicide and killing yourself is whether of not you had fun doing it.
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-26-2007, 02:22 PM
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-26-2007, 03:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 777Customs View Post
****************************

A wife says to her friend, "Our sex life stinks." Her friend says, "Do you ever watch your husband's face when you're having sex?" She says, "Once, and I saw rage." Her friend says, "Why would he be angry during sex?" The wife says, "Because he was looking through the window at us."
Frickin' hilarious!

Wow! you are fast, you were haulin' @$$ when I past you.
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-26-2007, 04:17 PM
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The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "YOU CAN
BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE."

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on,
you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law.

You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my
meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.



After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind

of sex that I want.


Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my
back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet
and hands.



Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?


The wife replied, "The @#$%in' funeral director would be my first guess."

Wow! you are fast, you were haulin' @$$ when I past you.
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-27-2007, 06:55 AM
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A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods at night. The little boy turns to the pedophile and says "I'm scared mister, it's getting dark out here." The pedophile turns to the little boy and says "You think you're scared? I gotta walk outta here alone!"

Life isn't fair. All you can do is try to make it unfair in your favor.
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-27-2007, 08:51 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tormigroin View Post
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods at night. The little boy turns to the pedophile and says "I'm scared mister, it's getting dark out here." The pedophile turns to the little boy and says "You think you're scared? I gotta walk outta here alone!"


That's flucking terrible.
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-27-2007, 10:10 AM
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Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw
an old man walking with his legs spread apart.


One of the students said to his friend: "I'm sure he has Petry
Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."

The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man
surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks just as we learned in
class."

Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They
approached the old man and one of the students said to him:
"We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you
walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have.
Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said: "I'll tell you, but first you'll tell me what
you think."

One of the students said: "I think it's Petry Syndrome."

The old man said: "You thought.......... but you're wrong."

Then the other student said: "I think you have Zovitzki
Syndrome."

The old man said: "You thought.......... but you're wrong."

So they asked him: "Well, what do you have?"

And the old man said: "I thought It was a fart--but I was wrong."

Good [email protected]#$ ain't cheap, and cheap [email protected]#$ ain't good.



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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-27-2007, 10:25 AM
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Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle...

From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break
down in the parking lot.

The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near
the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.

Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.

Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. On
regaining to her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have eleven stitches in his forehead.

Good [email protected]#$ ain't cheap, and cheap [email protected]#$ ain't good.



http://www.myspace.com/777customs

The only difference between suicide and killing yourself is whether of not you had fun doing it.
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