My Notes on a 1977 JC Penney Catalogue - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
 
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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 11:46 AM Thread Starter
 
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My Notes on a 1977 JC Penney Catalogue

Shamlessly stolen from a friend who posted it on another board....

Sorry for the long babbling...oh well I am sure you will get where I am going with this.




A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often forum fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking. I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:


Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom:


There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes.

The clothes are fantastic.

Here's how to get your ass kicked in elementary school:

Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.

Here's how to get your ass kicked in high school:

This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Here's how to get your ass kicked on the golf course:

This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you, and as a one-piece, it's slightly more effective as a deterrent against ass-rapery.

Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:

If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his matching coffee cup.

Here's how to get your ass kicked at the beach:

He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.

How to get your ass kicked in a meeting:

If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.

How to get your ass kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day:

Dear god in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.

As does your search for chest hair.

And this -- Seriously. No words

Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What. The. [email protected]!!!!!! I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.

Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?





I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled "Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best."


And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and a blonde girl with a look on her face that says "I love the way your junk fights against that fabric."


Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:


I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors. That said, I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:


Man, that's sexy.
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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 11:55 AM
 
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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 11:57 AM
 
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man fuzzy toilet covers are the chit
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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 12:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by neebelung View Post
Here's how to get your ass kicked pretty much anywhere:


And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and a blonde girl with a look on her face that says "I love the way your junk fights against that fabric."
First one, guy on the right, worst thing I've ever seen.

Second one.... she's looking RIGHT at it! Shameless! She loves the c*ck.
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 12:09 PM Thread Starter
 
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The more I look at the pics, the more it makes me laugh...
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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 01:03 PM
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thats got me rolling, gross!!
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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 01:16 PM
 
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Can we have some shots from the panty and bra section please?
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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 01:19 PM
 
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And this -- Seriously. No words

Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What. The. [email protected]!!!!!! I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.
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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 01:23 PM
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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 02:58 PM Thread Starter
 
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Can we have some shots from the panty and bra section please?
Bear in mind, ahem... waxing wasn't as en vogue as it is now...
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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 04:03 PM
 
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That's an old photo of me... I love to rock the mini-tie. Give me a call
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post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 06:37 PM
 
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thats SO FAR from attractive. holy crap that scared me. oh yeah, if those dudes are alive, introduce them to something called a hair trimmer.
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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 07:35 PM Thread Starter
 
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thats SO FAR from attractive. holy crap that scared me. oh yeah, if those dudes are alive, introduce them to something called a hair trimmer.


Obviously this lil number wasn't available back then:

http://shaveeverywhere.com/

(it's worksafe )
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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 07:38 PM
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thats hilarious nee

2005 Honda CRF88RR - 2007 Honda CBR600RR
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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-13-2007, 07:42 PM Thread Starter
 
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thats hilarious nee
Be sure to click the main menu and peruse the whole site (including the music vid )

This site was going around a couple years ago, but it's still just as funny.
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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-14-2007, 01:13 AM
 
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Be sure to click the main menu and peruse the whole site (including the music vid )

This site was going around a couple years ago, but it's still just as funny.
I just spent 20 minutes watching all of that.... friggin hilarious.
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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-14-2007, 09:03 PM
 
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Can we have some shots from the panty and bra section please?
Back when I was 10 or so I thought I was in heaven looking at the bra and panty section of the JC Penny catalog. Then when I found a "Fredericks of Hollywood" catalog I think my boys dropped.

Then I got my hands on a birthing book. Nothing says "I want a baby" like peeing, pooping, farting, vomiting, and having 8strangers watch your Vagina tear as you shove a 7lb bloody mucas soaked wiggling turd out of your body. Birthing is sooo beautiful. Then the afterbirth discharge. Makes me cry everytime.

Still none of that clothing is half as bad as the pink shirt popped colar spiked highlighted hair gelled so hard Snell approved it waxed body cologne bathing necklace wearing white guys who think they are black punks you see running around now. Dear god what will we think 30years from now about our clothing???
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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-15-2007, 05:00 AM
 
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in about 1990 my grandma made me and my little brother matching hawaiian shirt and shorts outfits out of the same fabric. I can now see that she stopped paying attention to style in 1977, a full 13 years before! i will try and dig up a picture when I am home over thanksgiving you will LOL and spew chunks of turkey at the monitor.
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