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My SO

12K views 147 replies 34 participants last post by  ceo012384 
#1 · (Edited)
My SO says that once married I shouldn't want to go anywhere that she doesnt want to or can not go!! I should drop all of my friends and make her my whole life!
~She goes to the bar to listen to bands once a week, but says that I can't because I drink and dance! And that she only goes because Im in irak so basicly once I get back I'll be forced to go!

And then she started talkin bad about ever friend I have and how if i were to go with them or anything it would be saying that they are more important than her!
~She has gotten out of bed before in the middle of it to go with her friends chasing their boyfriends around his other girls houses!!She said its not up for discussion!

I shouldn't go riding untill she has learned to drag a knee!!! Should never go on any long ride with out her!! And No marryed person would feel any way but how she does!!!

OH YEAH AND THIS IS AFTER 5YEARS W/O COMPLAINT OF MY LIFESTYLE!!
 
#3 ·
My SO says that once married I shouldn't want to go anywhere that she doesnt want to or can not go!! I should drop all of my friends and make her my whole life!
~She goes to the bar to listen to bands once a week, but says that I can't because I drink and dance! And that she only goes because Im in irak so basicly once I get back I'll be forced to go!

And then she started talkin bad about ever friend I have and how if i were to go with them or anything it would be saying that they are more important than her!
~She has gotten out of bed before in the middle of it to go with her friends chasing their boyfriends around his other girls houses!!She said its not up for discussion!

I shouldn't go riding untill she has learned to drag a knee!!! Should never go on any long ride with out her!! And No marryed person would feel any way but how she does!!!
You do mean drunk dancing, right :lol:

And before I get flamed (it's a f'n joke)
 
#24 ·
yeah, that's probably not your smartest post ever there sir...


I mean, c'mon she's a blonde. She'll get confused just at the poll.. " WTF is Tater's whore of an ex?"



But nah the controlling has gotta stop. all it'll do is push you away.
 
#23 ·
Has she ever exhibited this kind of dominating personality in the five years prior to this conversation?

I know this is a crazy question, but has she changed her birth control method lately? There are certain pills I steer clear of because I go a teensy bit nutty, ie putting x-boyfriend's stuff on lawn with a sign that says 'free.' Every little emotion was magnified by 1000 with this drug. A couple years later, my doctor told me about a report where this drug had similar effects on other women.
 
#26 ·
Look, I know, but seriously on that drug it felt like I wasn't in the driver's seat. I'm normally level-headed and rational regardless of my gender. Still, that stuff screwed me up for a bit. The same thing happened to my sister and according to my doctor a whole bunch of other women.
 
#27 ·
so yeah well...

if she just started exhibiting this behavior I would be a lil freaked out...if this is kinda standard, I would agree with the pic posted by Trip, that would be the best, most eloquent way to put it...

In no way shape or form is it ever healthy to expect things of your SO that you dont apply to yourself, its not at all healthy to limit yourself only to your SO, if you bury yourself in each other you will miss out on the rest of the world, you each need to keep your own interests, hobbies, friends, etc...and join the 2 often but still take time for yourselves. If you dont, and you stay together, years later you may end up hating your life and yourselves for killing the good you could have had by suffocating yourselves...then you hate each other and it doesnt work out anyway and you just wasted part of your life...:idk: :2cents:
 
#32 ·
Well, She called her friend who hates me and she even agreed with my sid of things!! So now she is agreeing with me a little, but still thinks that she should be able to ride 2 up with me anytime I go riding, and I think its fine for the ocasional ride, but not for dragging so she says I shouldnt be dragging then!

So Im going to show her this later and let her trip because I was talking about it to yall!
 
#42 ·
To piggy-back on what katherine was saying, what the heck made her suddenly make a DRASTIC change in her attitude after 5 years? 5 years is a long time and then to suddenly change one's mindset so drastically not only seems very unhealthy, but things like this almost never happen on their own. People just don't change their core values are years and years on a whim. There's a trigger some where.

My advice, if you love her and want to be with her, try and find that trigger (the source of her change of mind) and reverse it. If you can't, leave.

This has been a message from the AudioMechanic of love.
 
#45 ·
Thank you, Audiomechanic. That was much more eloquent that what I said but you hit the nail on the head.

Its a strange, sudden behavior change. Five years is a long term investment. You obviously had a successful relationship. Thats longer than many marriages these days. What happened to set her off?
 
#48 ·
Its a powerful thing to love/want/need someone so far away. Many relationships don't make it through something so difficult. I wouldn't be so quick to pull the trigger on the relationship. If you just started dating her, maybe, but after five years.... damn. Thats a long time to just throw away all that history.

My suggestion is ask her sincerely and with concern, "Baby, whats going on? Whats causing these unusual requests?"
 
#68 ·
Dood run. Unless u can get thru to her that is.

I say set her down and tell her u don't like the way this is going and see what she has to say about it. If she says something to back herself up let her know u don't want to have to live thru the army again w/ people telling u wat to do and that u dont think you can make that kind of commitment. Let her chew on that for a while.

Don't know if thats the best thing to do but thats wat I'd do.:idk:
 
#79 ·
insecurity

Sounds like she's insecure and whenever there is insecurity in a relationship there is always an opposite sex friend who she confides in and then eventually she accidently falls on his stomache :drool:
Drop her man, you don't need a relationship while we are over here in this unappreciative country.
Sorry, but I had to go there.
 
#80 ·
Sounds like she's insecure and whenever there is insecurity in a relationship there is always an opposite sex friend who she confides in and then eventually she accidently falls on his stomache :drool:
Drop her man, you don't need a relationship while we are over here in this unappreciative country.
Sorry, but I had to go there.
:iagree: because I know first hand what is going on back here :wink:
 
#81 ·
Not sure if it's been said before (skipped from page 1 to page 4), but you may wanna go ahead and take off. Some women (not all, of course) will meet a guy that they wanna get with, so they make life intolerable for you until you leave them, and that leaves them free to take off with the other dude, guilt-free. It sounds as if she might have some guilt about leaving a guy who is in such a dangerous occupation, and is trying to force you to break it off so she doesn't feel guilty. If you go along, I wouldn't be surprised to hear that she had come up with some other whacky, off-the-wall, crap.

Of course, I don't know crap about your situation, so this might all be completely wrong. :idk:
 
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