Groaners... - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
 
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-04-2005, 06:04 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,145
Groaners...

Even though they're groaners....Some of them are funny.

Grooaaaners!

1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and
get married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was
excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says,
"I've lost my
electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The
first replies, "Yes, I'm
positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender
says, "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."

4. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender
says, "Sorry we don't
serve food in here."

5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt
under his arm and
says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to
the other:
"Does this taste funny to you?"

8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green
Grass of Home.'" "That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's Not Unusual."

9. Two cows standing next to each other in a
field. Daisy says to Dolly,
"I was artificially inseminated this morning. "I
don't believe you,"
said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed
Daisy.

10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing
to look at either.

11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this
bull before.

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and
says, "My dog's cross-
eyed, is there any thing you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet,
"let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog
up and examines his
eyes. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put
him down." "What? Just
because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's
really heavy."

13. Apparently, one in five people in the world
are Chinese. And there
are five people in my family, so it must be one
of them. It's either my
mom or my dad or maybe my older brother Calvin or
my younger brother
Ho-Chin. But I'm pretty sure it's Calvin.

14. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the
other day but I couldn't
find any.

15. I went to the butcher's the other day to bet
him 50 bucks that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He
said, "No, the steaks are
too high."

16. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious
accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The
doctor replied, "I know you
can't - I've cut off your arms!"

17. I went to a seafood disco last week and
pulled a mussel.

18. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly;
but when they lit a fire
in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't
have your kayak and heat
it too.

19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

20. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is
the bar tender here?"
CharlieMavCBR is offline  
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-04-2005, 06:42 PM
 
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Oh God charlie...bumblebee is rubbing off on you !!!
Need4Speed is offline  
post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-04-2005, 08:53 PM Thread Starter
 
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Hey....LOL....I thought they were kinda funny. I got them in my email and thought TWF would enjoy these knee slapper groaners!!
CharlieMavCBR is offline  
post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-04-2005, 09:04 PM
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I'm emailing this one to my dad...

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly;
but when they lit a fire
in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't
have your kayak and heat
it too.

Rarely is the question stupid, but sometimes the answer is you need to run everything you read online through your own personal BS meter to determine if it makes sense to you.
larryg is offline  
post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-05-2005, 12:40 AM
 
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LOL...#5 I read as it as "bar" at first. hehehe
GSXR1000DJ is offline  
post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-05-2005, 08:07 AM Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GSXR750DJ
LOL...#5 I read as it as "bar" at first. hehehe
Don't feel too bad!!! My brother did the SAME thing. He stayed over last night and I told him to get on TWF and read the groaners thread. He read "bra as bar" too.

Can't figure out how you guys missed "bra"

CharlieMavCBR is offline  
post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-05-2005, 12:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlieMavCBR
Can't figure out how you guys missed "bra"



Those were great!
3BoyzNaBike is offline  
post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-05-2005, 02:22 PM
 
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I think we got #5 mixed up with the joke:

A man walks into a bar....the second man ducks. LOL
GSXR1000DJ is offline  
post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-05-2005, 06:26 PM Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GSXR750DJ
I think we got #5 mixed up with the joke:

A man walks into a bar....the second man ducks. LOL
Now that's a real groaner DJ!!!! Although, for some reason it's really funny when your totally intoxicated...
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-05-2005, 06:50 PM
 
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bumblebee is offline  
post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 01-05-2005, 11:32 PM
 
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Posts: 338

omg..those are hilarious...
i almost choked on my drink
BikesR4Girls is offline  
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