Even though they're groaners....Some of them are funny.
1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and
get married. The
ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was
2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says,
"I've lost my
electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The
first replies, "Yes, I'm
3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender
says, "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."
4. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender
says, "Sorry we don't
serve food in here."
5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt
under his arm and
says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to
"Does this taste funny to you?"
8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green
Grass of Home.'" "That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's Not Unusual."
9. Two cows standing next to each other in a
field. Daisy says to Dolly,
"I was artificially inseminated this morning. "I
don't believe you,"
said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed
10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing
to look at either.
11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this
12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and
says, "My dog's cross-
eyed, is there any thing you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet,
"let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog
up and examines his
eyes. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put
him down." "What? Just
because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's
13. Apparently, one in five people in the world
are Chinese. And there
are five people in my family, so it must be one
of them. It's either my
mom or my dad or maybe my older brother Calvin or
my younger brother
Ho-Chin. But I'm pretty sure it's Calvin.
14. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the
other day but I couldn't
15. I went to the butcher's the other day to bet
him 50 bucks that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He
said, "No, the steaks are
16. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious
accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The
doctor replied, "I know you
can't - I've cut off your arms!"
17. I went to a seafood disco last week and
pulled a mussel.
18. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly;
but when they lit a fire
in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't
have your kayak and heat
19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
20. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is
the bar tender here?"