Road to the Superbowl 2006 - Next Stop Detroit
I have just got to get this out. MFP. Detroit Superbowl 2006????!?!?!? LMAO. What a joke. The 1983 debacle will look successful when these clowns get done once and for all ruining the name of Detroit. For all of those out of state this is a warning to you - please be gentle as the media is going to have a field day. Detroit has as much chance of being ready next February as the Lions have a chance of actually playing in the game with no offensive line and Joey "Ball Game" Harrington calling the signals, if you can call it that - standing there and getting hit or picked off is more like it. What a joke. Issues:
1. Roads - MFP - I drive them everyday and dispite the overabundance of orange cones in the Summer staring at you like Vietcong in the rice paddies and suffering through multiple detours and making your 30 minute ride to work an exercise in futility and adding 1-2 hours to boot. The roads SUCK. Pot holes big enough to hide CHUD in them and not just 1 or 2 like 100. I just got new tires - so much for that. Did I say MFP? Roads are NFG. If you are coming here good luck I hear there is a magical stretch of road in the U.P. that is smooth but I believe that to be an urban legend.
2. Weather - again MFP. The snow melts faster than they clear the roads because the state and counties are bankrupt and thus cut back on the number of trucks and use the we'll wait until it stops snowing or until spring, whichever comes first, to plow the roads. It is a joke. Even cities that are somewhat affluent like Rochester are packing up their game and headed out West depending on the overburdened county to take up the slack. Another joke - if you are coming here pray it doesn't snow during that week or hope you have a hummer and I am not talking about the beotch on Mich Ave or McNichols that will love you all night for $20.
3. Aesthetics - OMG where to start? The city looks like it went on a three week heroin bender and got its ass kicked by some bullies for wearing a Winger shirt to school. 67% of ALL buildings in Detroit are vacant - houses, churches, schools, businesses - 67% - solution - tear down the decriped ones and leave a nice overgrown nasty looking vacant lot and oh by the way shut down the pos People Mover (believe me NEVER EVER EVER ride the people mover) in the process because some jackass decided to design the people mover to where it is attached to every festering run down building in the city. Every time they take down a building it is a debacle due to that. Everyone is like OMG the people mover! Like it is some critical form of transportation - for christ sake it goes like a 1/4 mile around the city to old vacant buildings - the only use for it is to park at Greektown and ride it to Cobo - WOHOO. There is like 10 billion parking spots for free alot closer. Oh yeah and instead of tearing down the $5 a week hotels where the crackheads multiply like rabbits let's tear down the David Whitney, the one building in Detroit that could be renovated with its $1 million marble lobby, etc. They are talking about "fixing up" the vacant buildings - with what duct tape and calk? Another joke.
3. A city in jeopardy - Detroit has a $260 million deficeit. Nice. Schools are shutting down by the dozens. Red Wings not playing = about $90 million of that. Bars shutting down when they should be thriving and building new ones. They have an idiot for a Mayor who with his entourage is more interested in partying at the mansion instead of taking care of business. Hey but the Detroit PD has a new Navigator.
4. Casinos - Nice. Real f'ing nice. About 6 years ago let's build "temporary" casinos and then in 2 years build the "real" ones - what is left - the god damn pos temporary casinos. Why? Because no one can make a f'ing decision. The only decent one is Greektown. The only saving grace Detroit has is that Windsor is spending $400 million on their casino and people that are smart can stay across the river, eh.
5. Hotels - what a joke. They are renovating one. The Ponchatrain. Wow that will hold 3 million people you dumb shyts. No new hotels like they are supposed to have. Another debacle with not enough hotels and pissed off NFL fans and media is just waiting to happen.
I could go on but I lost interest. There is no way they are going to be ready. Oh at least Ford Field - Home of the Lions - is brand spanking new and state of the art - a true marvel in itself and at least the field the game will be played on is awesome. That place is truly pheonomal. Way way way way way too nice for a **** team like the Lions to be playing in but definately a good spot for the big game - too bad it is not in Miami or Jacksonville or New Orleans or somewhere more deserving of a Super Bowl. The All Star Game is coming here this year - that is supposed to be the first test but can't really compare as it is a smaller crowd and in the Summer plus less publicity. For those of you out of state football fans and of course you Enchanted Mitten dwellers please pray for Detroit - they need a MIRACLE. There is a better chance of the hockey season starting.