My dad called me and said that one of his CD RW drives wasn't working, so I went and checked it out. Ended up having to call tech support.
Me: Hi, the CD-RW drive isn't working.
Her: How many CD drives do you have?
Her: Try the other one.
Me: Yeah, the other one works fine, but it's just a CD-ROM. I need the CD-RW to work.
Her: What do you want the drive to do?
Me (honestly what I said to her): Uh, I'd like it to work. You know, read and write to a CD-RW, which is what it is made for!
Her: Well, what exactly are you trying to do?
Me (honestly): Uh, I'm trying to read a CD-RW so that I can save changes to a file, but it won't even read the disk.
Her: Have you tried saving the file to a different location?
Me (even more angry): OMG, what does that have to do with the CD-RW working? I need to save these files to a CD-RW, not the hard drive and not a floppy. A CD-RW. Do you understand that? The CD-RW is not working, which is why I'm calling you. The rest of the damn computer works. I need the CD-RW to work, do you understand????
After about 5 minutes of that, I finally got her to give me directions to fix the damn CD-RW. I was pissed. Then she had the nerve to ask me to fill out an online survey about her performance.
Oh, and one of my other favorite comments from tech support when the INTERNET CONNECTION is not working: In the future, please check online for any fixes. Hey dumbass, I can't GET online, that's why I'm f'n calling you on the phone.