my kinda poetry
lol i lookin for poems for a project and here are some cool ones
Advice in Abundance
Unsolicited advice free and abundant:
So much of it there its often redundant.
When I was a lad and easily impressed:
I listened and nodded at the experts' behest.
Opinions they flaunted on a scale universal:
Expounding at length without forethought or rehearsal.
With style and emotion, each made a case:
Of factual content there was rarely a trace.
Middle age found me as the consummate cynic:
Quick to retort and given to mimic.
With the passage of time I relaxed my position:
Improvised wisdom doesn't require a logician.
In the twilight of life there is time for a chat:
I now render advice at the drop of a hat.
Each morning I go jogging thinking, "I'm as fit as in the past",
But the lungs aren't what they used to be, my esophagus is tighter than my arse.
So with every breath I strain and suck, and there's a pounding in my brain
Imagine what it's like to struggle to keep up with a granny and her
The legs are getting weaker with every step I take,
And I push myself to the limits to keep the old lady in my wake.
I've really turned it on, "my God I've really pulled away!
There's no way that she'll catch me now", it's really made my day.
Clippety-clop! Clippety-clop! "Hey sonny", she's on my back again!
That crusty old lady, and now two friends, and of course their zimmer-frames
"Oh ****! They're at my shoulder", and they thought that they'd go passed
But then I coat hangered everyone of them, I could cause they weren't that fast.
So now my jogging's over and I start the long walk home,
But no bad deed goes unpunished, especially if you're walking home alone.
And those dear old crusty biddies, they ambushed me in the street,
And stuck those zimmer frames ... well now I can't go jog for weeks.
A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat.
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bites.
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A curser used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out.
Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile.
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a back up happened to your commode.
Cut you did with a pocket knife.
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu.
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens, they'll wish they were dead.