Dtroit Driving tips... LOL! - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
 
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-21-2005, 10:11 AM Thread Starter
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Dtroit Driving tips... LOL!

I got this on a email... and I'm sure us Michigan people can add a few...

Detroit Driving Tips:

1. First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Di-troit. NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo and here for the country Music hoe-down.


2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray!


3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00am to 10:00am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00pm to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.


4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. If you're first off the starting line when the light turns green, count to five before going. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.


5. Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.


6. Construction and renovation on I-94,I-96, I-75,I-275,I-375,The Lodge and The Southfield Freeways are a way of life. Just deal with it.


7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect or they are "out-of-towners."

8. All old men with white hair wearing a hat have total right-of-way.

9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY. Oh, and don't even think of allowing more than one car length between cars!


10. That attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in Detroit is NOT ornamental. "DO NOT get out of your c ar"


11. Never stare at the driver of the car wi! th the bumper sticker that says "Keep honking, I'm reloading."


12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving 'because they are so friendly in Detroit. I would suggest you duck.


13. I-275/I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.


14. It's not M-10, it's "the Lodge."


15. That's not a lake, it's a pothole.


16. If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you better hope you have a map.


17. The left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go a 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make a right. NOW you have gone left.









-Chris
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-21-2005, 11:01 AM
 
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2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray!

15. That's not a lake, it's a pothole.

I am never moving up there.
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-21-2005, 11:10 AM
 
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That is all true and then some.. lol..
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-21-2005, 11:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gas Man
I got this on a email... and I'm sure us Michigan people can add a few...

Detroit Driving Tips:

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray!

3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00am to 10:00am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00pm to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.

4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. If you're first off the starting line when the light turns green, count to five before going. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.

7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect or they are "out-of-towners."

9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY. Oh, and don't even think of allowing more than one car length between cars!

13. I-275/I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.

15. That's not a lake, it's a pothole.

17. The left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go a 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make a right. NOW you have gone left.

All the above rules of the road apply to Houston... with a few substitutions...

2. And drive Offensively

4. Only count to 3 but only after the 3 second time laps between the red to green light shift.

13 Our daily NASCAR is I-610 and the unofficial time is 10.25 minute lap


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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-21-2005, 12:54 PM
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lol, very similar to L.A. .... except rush hour is 24/7 here.

YA THINK???
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-21-2005, 01:02 PM
 
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"Schoenherr" . . . My german is a little rusty, but "beautiful mister?" WTF.
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-21-2005, 01:04 PM
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good thing the Big D is not the Big G...
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-21-2005, 02:37 PM Thread Starter
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I won't say that Detroit is the worse place to drive but if you can drive in the Detroit area you can drive anywhere and nothing will come to you as a surprise!




-Chris
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-21-2005, 02:42 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Gas Man
I won't say that Detroit is the worse place to drive but if you can drive in the Detroit area you can drive anywhere and nothing will come to you as a surprise!

Post up some pics of D-town so we know what areas you are talking about.
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-21-2005, 04:15 PM
 
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7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect or they are "out-of-towners."



actually most of the true detroiters ride with their turnsignals on constantly or hazards flashing
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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-21-2005, 09:21 PM Thread Starter
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You're right Hinks...




-Chris
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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-21-2005, 11:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hinks
7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect or they are "out-of-towners."



actually most of the true detroiters ride with their turnsignals on constantly or hazards flashing

Thats still not saying to much about the ppl there. Not all...just some.
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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-22-2005, 07:22 AM Thread Starter
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There never is too much to say about a true Detroit citizen... just take a stroll thru the town and you'll figure that out real fast...




-Chris
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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-22-2005, 07:38 AM
 
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well being from boston, most of those hold true here too...but i got one question.....what are those turn signal things you guys are talking about...we dont seem to have them around here on our cars and bikes
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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-22-2005, 10:47 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigface1
"Schoenherr" . . . My german is a little rusty, but "beautiful mister?" WTF.

Thing about it is....and I'll give you a little insight into the road names.....Schoenherr is pronounced shane-er. and Gratiot is pronounced grash-it.

Pot hole city up here. This winter was terrible on our roads. I'm making metal notes of all the "lakes" in our roads so I don't kill myself on the 7R.
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post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-22-2005, 12:41 PM Thread Starter
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Yeah...Chev is right on!!!




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