Am I Politically correct here?? - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-27-2005, 08:00 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
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Am I Politically correct here??

One of my lawyers sent me this and told me I could stay out of trouble if I followed these suggestions...

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

2. She is not a SCREAMER or a MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4. She is not a DUMB BLONDE - She is a LIGHT HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

10. She is not a Tramp - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

12. She is not a TWO-BIT Hooker - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS

6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has MALE SWINE EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

11. It's not his butt crack you see hanging out of his pants.... .It's REAR CLEAVAGE
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-27-2005, 08:59 AM
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I'm totally Mens #2 & 9!!!




-Chris
aka Gas Man



Was: 2002 Kaw ZX-9R
IS:


is me till the
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-27-2005, 09:41 AM
 
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Add 3,4,5 to my list. Well add em all I guess.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-27-2005, 04:27 PM
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I love that you're taking on #5!!




-Chris
aka Gas Man



Was: 2002 Kaw ZX-9R
IS:


is me till the
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