Things only a cop would say - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
 
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-17-2004, 03:47 PM Thread Starter
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Things only a cop would say

From an email I received...

Quote:

Things only a police officer would say:

"The answer to this last question will determine
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat
or a dog?"

"Fair?! You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a
place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy,
and step in monkey-poop."

"No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to
have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many
tickets as we want."

"I know, I know! Your kid is an honor student at the
juvenile detention center."

"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good
personal friend of yours. At least you know someone
who can post your bail."

"No, I don't believe they should use the electric
chair; I think they need to use electric bleachers."

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife
gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough; it's tougher if you're stupid."

"In God we trust; all others are suspects."

"Just how big were those two beers?"

"Your life is not my fault."

"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile."

"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?"

"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess
that means I can write anything I want on the ticket,
huh?"

"Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I
don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I AM
the shift supervisor?"

"Warning?! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you
not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-17-2004, 04:26 PM
 
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"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess
that means I can write anything I want on the ticket,
huh?"

Oh I can so hear the cops around here saying just that..UGH :shock:
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-17-2004, 04:36 PM
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Too funny!!!




-Chris
aka Gas Man



Was: 2002 Kaw ZX-9R
IS:


is me till the
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-17-2004, 10:35 PM
 
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I wonder what I would have to do to get my local cops to say some of these to me? :smilelol:
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-18-2004, 02:32 AM
 
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Those are classic..... :smilelol:

I am going to have to remember some of those for work tomorrow.
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-19-2004, 02:38 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calkidd
Those are classic..... :smilelol:

I am going to have to remember some of those for work tomorrow.

Let us know if you use any of these and the looks on the faces of the ppl you say them to.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-19-2004, 08:04 AM Thread Starter
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Uh... not recommended for real-life useage. :shock:
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-19-2004, 11:04 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GSXR750DJ
Let us know if you use any of these and the looks on the faces of the ppl you say them to.
why dont you try it, and see how quickly you end up in the back of a cruiser in handcuffs!! yeah, do that!!! do that!!!!
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-19-2004, 03:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Need4Speed750
why dont you try it, and see how quickly you end up in the back of a cruiser in handcuffs!! yeah, do that!!! do that!!!!

I'm crazy enough to say it and they will probley just look at me and laugh. Damn.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-28-2004, 11:39 PM
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"No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to
have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many
tickets as we want."




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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-29-2004, 10:24 AM
 
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:smilelol: ahhh...good stuff
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 08-29-2004, 10:41 AM
 
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"Life's tough; it's tougher if you're stupid."

God knows there are enough of those people on the road..
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-27-2005, 08:54 AM
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Bounce!

This one is worth some laughs!!



I know... I'm a




-Chris
aka Gas Man



Was: 2002 Kaw ZX-9R
IS:


is me till the
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