Lifetime Gold Supporting Member
'07 Rally Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Western N.C. (The Great Smoky Mountains)
A few for laughs!
>> > MILK BATH
>> > A blonde heard that milk baths would make her
>> > beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave
>> > 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note,
>> > he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she
>> > probably meant 1.5 gallons so he knocked on the door
>> > to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and
>> > the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15
>> > gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The
>> > blonde said, "I need to fill my bathtub up with milk
>> > and take a milk bath." The milkman asked, "Do you
>> > want it Pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up
>> > to my boobs, I can splash it in my eyes."
>> > BMW >> > A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
>> > the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few
>> > minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the
>> > story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."
>> > She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
>> > SPEEDING TICKET >> > A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
>> > her very nicely if he could see her license.
>> > She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your
>> > act together. Just yesterday you take away my license
>> > and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
>> > KNITTING
>> > A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
>> > the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to
>> > see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
>> > Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
>> > lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window,
>> > turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!"
>> > the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
>> > BLONDE ON THE SUN
>> > A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
>> > day. The Russian said, "we were the first in space!"
>> > The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
>> > The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first
>> > on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at
>> > each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on
>> > the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
>> > Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not
>> > stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
>> > IN A VACUUM
>> > A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It
>> > was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on
>> > Science & Nature. The question was, "If you are in a
>> > vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
>> > She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or
>> > off?"
>> > FINAL EXAM
>> > The blonde reported for her university final
>> > examination that consists of yes/no type questions.
>> > She takes her seat in the! examination hall, stares at
>> > the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit
>> > of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin
>> > and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet:
>> > Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails. Within half an
>> > hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is
>> > still sweating it out. During the last few minutes
>> > she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering
>> > and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her
>> > and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in
>> > half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."