I had this sent to me today.
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What
setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of North Carolina."
And they say blondes are dumb...
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world"
The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
Q : What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A Rumor
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that
because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a
very special wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh!
Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger..
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
Got to love that fairy!
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf
balls, and sat down next to a beautiful young lady.
She kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf
Never-the-less, she continued to look at him thoughtfully
and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked,
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"