Showering..*Joke* - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
 
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-01-2004, 01:22 PM Thread Starter
 
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Showering..*Joke*

Found this over on KP..funny stuff..and so true..

How To Shower Like a Woman
> >
> > Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
> > to lights and darks.
> >
> > Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband
> > along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
> >
> > Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
> > more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
> >
> > Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
> > loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
> >
> > Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
> > vitamins.
> >
> > Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair
> > with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
> >
> > Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
> > until red.
> >
> > Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
> > Rinse conditioner off hair.
> >
> > Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet
> > surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
> >
> > Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
><
> > Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
> >
> > Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
> >
> > If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


> >
> > How To Shower Like a Man
> >
> > Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them
> > in a pile.
> >
> > Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
> > wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
> >
> > Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
> >
> > Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
> >
> > Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
> >
> > Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
> >
> > Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
> >
> > Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
> >
> > Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
> >
> > Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
> >
> > Rinse off and get out of shower.
> >
> > Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
> > hanging out of tub the whole time.
> >
> > Admire wiener size in mirror again
> >
> > Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
> >
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

Throw wet towel on bed.

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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-03-2004, 03:14 PM
Knee Dragger
 
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Hey!!

That's about right. :p
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-03-2004, 03:32 PM Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BusaBabe
Hey!!

That's about right. :p
Thats what my other half said too...

especially this one.. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

&

> > Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
> > hanging out of tub the whole time.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-05-2004, 01:45 PM
 
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That is so close to the truth it makes me laugh.
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-07-2004, 06:53 PM
 
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how true and I think I resemble that remark!!!
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-12-2004, 11:38 AM
 
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Just got a forward from my brother and instead of starting a new thread, it seemed to fit here pretty good. Might just have to turn this into the "Difference b/w Men and Women" thread...consider this thread

Apples and Wine.....

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.

Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid offalling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy....... The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. Share this with other women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked!

Now Men....
Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the $%#& out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-12-2004, 12:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fatburg

Now Men....
Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the $%#& out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
!!
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-12-2004, 12:05 PM
 
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Instead of wasting a bunch of time doing individual posts...just go here, it's easier

http://www.thejokefactory.org/JF_pic.../men&women.htm
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-12-2004, 04:56 PM
 
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LMAO!!!! WOW! That's funny! I for seriously USE apricot facial scrub too!! St. Ives medicated Apricot scrub, to b exact!! *Blush*

~* ChaR *~
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-12-2004, 04:58 PM Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlieMavCBR
LMAO!!!! WOW! That's funny! I for seriously USE apricot facial scrub too!! St. Ives medicated Apricot scrub, to b exact!! *Blush*

~* ChaR *~

and I bet u use a poofy too, dont ya!!
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-13-2004, 03:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Need4Speed750
and I bet u use a poofy too, dont ya!!
LMAO....Yes I DO! It's pink and blue. *blows raspberries at you* I like my facial scrub AND my poofy...So POOF you!



~* ChaR *~
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-15-2004, 04:36 AM
 
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hahahaha
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