Recordings from Snakemann's log book - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-09-2005, 12:16 PM Thread Starter
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 6,147
Recordings from Snakemann's log book

Here are some transcripts from Snakemann's Audio log book. You don't want to get pulled over in the Florida Panhandle by this guy...

"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them for a while."

"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will get you help. Oh..did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

"Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.... Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

"Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey crap."

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Just how big were those two beers, fellah?"

"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

"You didn't think we gave tickets to pretty women? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
bumblebee is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-09-2005, 12:18 PM
 
DLIT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Drinking Soju in Korea
Posts: 17,886
Send a message via AIM to DLIT
... I hate Cops. mainly the ones that give me tickets.
DLIT is offline  
post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-09-2005, 12:23 PM
Moderator
Lifetime Gold Supporting Member
'07 Rally Veteran
 
jeeps84's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Western N.C. (The Great Smoky Mountains)
Posts: 20,168
Send a message via MSN to jeeps84
Quote:
Originally Posted by bumblebee
"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

Submit your ride for the TWF Bike of the Month here


Currently ride 1987 GSXR 50, 1996 Ducati M900, 2005 GSXR 1000
jeeps84 is offline  
post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-09-2005, 12:26 PM
First 1000 Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: FL
Posts: 461
Funny.......... I tend to be more professional b/c of this




Good quotes though......I hadn't heard a lot of them.
snakemann is offline  
post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-09-2005, 01:11 PM
V-Twin Moddin
 
Gas Man's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 38,916
Cause THE MAN is watching you Snake?




-Chris
aka Gas Man



Was: 2002 Kaw ZX-9R
IS:


is me till the
Gas Man is offline  
post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-09-2005, 01:37 PM
 
99birdv6's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Posts: 1,513
haha, this is soooooo true.
99birdv6 is offline  
post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-09-2005, 01:55 PM
First 1000 Member
April 2006 BOTM Winner!
'07 Rally Veteran
 
R1up0n1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Camp Hill / Hbg, PA
Posts: 9,790
Send a message via AIM to R1up0n1
Quote:
Originally Posted by snakemann
Funny.......... I tend to be more professional b/c of this




Good quotes though......I hadn't heard a lot of them.
and I got pulled over and received a citation by a cop with a stop watch! WTF!! I still can't wait to have my day in court Aug 22nd!


-My 2004 YZF-R1 - GYTR Exhaust, HID's, BMC Filter, PUIG DB, PCIII and more...
-2000 SV650 = Sold
-2003 R1 = Demolished, Sold
-2004 R1 = Lovin it!

http://www.myspace.com/r1upon1
R1up0n1 is offline  
post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-09-2005, 02:31 PM
First 1000 Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: FL
Posts: 461
Yeah we read that rant
snakemann is offline  
post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-09-2005, 02:58 PM
First 1000 Member
 
Guideon72's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Renton, WA
Posts: 543
Send a message via MSN to Guideon72
I love those quotes...I believe they used the birth certificate one on Law and Order once

Snake: Would you really get in trouble for using lines like that in the field?


-G

ďJeezus Snyder...You've always had more horsepower than sense!" -Joe M.
Guideon72 is offline  
post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-09-2005, 03:15 PM
First 1000 Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: FL
Posts: 461
Quote:
Originally Posted by Guideon72
I
Snake: Would you really get in trouble for using lines like that in the field?
Yeah

If you want a side show, go work @ the improv. or save the comedy for the cast of Reno 911 no place for it in the real world.
snakemann is offline  
post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-09-2005, 05:22 PM
First 1000 Member
 
Mudpuppy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: State of Euphoria
Posts: 2,845
i couldn't be a cop.. i would abuse the power way too much and get in trouble quick.. those are pretty funny though...

Mudpuppy
TWF Resident Maniac
Wide Open Sportbikes

God told me to skin you alive

Mudpuppy is offline  
post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-10-2005, 02:12 PM Thread Starter
Banned
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 6,147
Snakemann was called to assist a rookie in a patrol car in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading east towards Georgia on I-10.

When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the rookie pulled over immediately. Snakemann pulled over right behind him and asked, "hey rookie, why'd you stop?"

"Iím not dumb," replied the rookie. "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."
bumblebee is offline  
post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-10-2005, 02:15 PM
First 1000 Member
April 2006 BOTM Winner!
'07 Rally Veteran
 
R1up0n1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Camp Hill / Hbg, PA
Posts: 9,790
Send a message via AIM to R1up0n1
Quote:
Originally Posted by bumblebee
Snakemann was called to assist a rookie in a patrol car in hot pursuit of a Camaro heading east towards Georgia on I-10.

When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the rookie pulled over immediately. Snakemann pulled over right behind him and asked, "hey rookie, why'd you stop?"

"Iím not dumb," replied the rookie. "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."


-My 2004 YZF-R1 - GYTR Exhaust, HID's, BMC Filter, PUIG DB, PCIII and more...
-2000 SV650 = Sold
-2003 R1 = Demolished, Sold
-2004 R1 = Lovin it!

http://www.myspace.com/r1upon1
R1up0n1 is offline  
post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-10-2005, 02:30 PM
Ace
First 1000 Member
 
Ace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Nagasaki Saki
Posts: 2,006
Send a message via Yahoo to Ace
Quote:
Originally Posted by snakemann
Yeah

If you want a side show, go work @ the improv. or save the comedy for the cast of Reno 911 no place for it in the real world.

I have a buddy who is a cop. After the movie "Super Troopers" they all pull crap like that. For real. See who can say stupid stuff like "Meow" the most in a traffic stop. A few friends met up with him one night when he was working. He was in a lot pulled over talking to another patrol car. A guy ran a red light but got caught at the next light about 200 yards away or so. so they did rock paper sissors to see who was going to go pull them over and how quickly they could do it all and issue the ticket and be back in the parking lot. It was pretty impressive how fast they did all of this. I am guessing it was like 3 minutes total.

Never under estimate 15 beers, a little enlightenment, and the power of Rob Base and DJ Easy Rock ~Earl
Ace is offline  
post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 08-11-2005, 12:30 AM
Moderator
Lifetime Gold Supporting Member
'07 Rally Veteran
 
jeeps84's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Western N.C. (The Great Smoky Mountains)
Posts: 20,168
Send a message via MSN to jeeps84
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ace
I have a buddy who is a cop. After the movie "Super Troopers" they all pull crap like that. For real. See who can say stupid stuff like "Meow" the most in a traffic stop. A few friends met up with him one night when he was working. He was in a lot pulled over talking to another patrol car. A guy ran a red light but got caught at the next light about 200 yards away or so. so they did rock paper sissors to see who was going to go pull them over and how quickly they could do it all and issue the ticket and be back in the parking lot. It was pretty impressive how fast they did all of this. I am guessing it was like 3 minutes total.
I wish I was that lucky. Every time I've been stopped. It take 30 minutes to an hour.

Submit your ride for the TWF Bike of the Month here


Currently ride 1987 GSXR 50, 1996 Ducati M900, 2005 GSXR 1000
jeeps84 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome