Women need not enter! - TwoWheelForum: Motorcycle and Sportbike forums
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post #1 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-03-2004, 02:41 PM Thread Starter
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Women need not enter!

Stolen from the internet, only intended as humor...

Quote:
HOW ARE WOMEN LIKE PARKING SPACES?
The best ones are taken & the rest are handicapped.

HOW MANY MALE CHAUVINISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
None. Let the bitch do the dishes in the dark.

WHAT IS LOVE?
The delusion that one woman differs from another.

WHY ARE CYCLONES AND TORNADOES USUALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
Because they don't come very often but when they do come, they make a hell of a noise and when they go, they take half your house with them.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR WIFE & YOUR JOB? After 2 years your job still sucks.

WHY DID GOD CREATE LESBIANS? So feminists couldn't breed.

WHY DO WOMEN RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
Because they don't have balls.

WHY DO MEN FART MORE THAN WOMEN?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

WHY IS A WOMAN LIKE A LAXATIVE?
They both irritate the **** out of you.

WHAT'S WORSE THAN A MALE CHAUVINIST PIG?
A woman who won't do as she's told.

WHAT IS IT CALLED WHEN A WOMAN IS PARALYZED FROM THE WAIST DOWN?
Marriage.

WHY DO MEN DIE BEFORE THEIR WIVES?
They want to.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WOMAN WITH PMS, & A ROTTWEILER?
Lipstick.

HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO FIX A VACUUM CLEANER?
Why the hell should we fix it, we don't use the damn thing.

WHY ARE WOMEN LIKE SCREEN DOORS?
Once they get banged a few times, they loosen up.

WHAT IS A WIFE?
An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.

WHY DO WOMEN HAVE BOOBS?
So men will talk to them

WHY DO WOMEN CLOSE THEIR EYES DURING SEX?
They can't stand to see a man having a good time.

WHAT'S SIX INCHES LONG, TWO INCHES WIDE & DRIVES WOMEN WILD?
A hundred dollar bill

WHY DO WOMEN HAVE PERIODS?
Because they deserve them.

WHY DID THE WOMAN CROSS THE ROAD?
who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen anyway?
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post #2 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-03-2004, 03:56 PM
 
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WHAT IS A WIFE?
An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.


OUCH!! insert smiling LOL smilie here..
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post #3 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-03-2004, 06:38 PM
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so very bad

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post #4 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-03-2004, 06:41 PM
 
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WHY ARE WOMEN LIKE SCREEN DOORS?
Once they get banged a few times, they loosen up
I install screen doors about six times a week, i'm gonna tell my client that one next time they say it's to hard to close. LMFAO!!!
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post #5 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-04-2004, 09:21 AM
 
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Quote:
WHY ARE CYCLONES AND TORNADOES USUALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
Because they don't come very often but when they do come, they make a hell of a noise and when they go, they take half your house with them.
this has got to be my favorite! ohhhhh, how funny things are often true!
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post #6 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 08:29 PM
 
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maybe you should close this one
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post #7 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 08:32 PM
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That's some funny stuff ShanMan...Very funny stuff...
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post #8 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 08:32 PM
 
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post #9 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 09:46 PM
 
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good grief u people dig up old threads
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post #10 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 09:47 PM
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Nuthin like an Admin with a great sense of humor...

YA THINK???
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post #11 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 09:50 PM
 
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Yeah, im nice like that.. and since most of these old threads were started way back when and I postwhored in most of them.. i cant say too much negative about it!
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post #12 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 09:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2FURYUS
Nuthin like an Admin with a great sense of humor...

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post #13 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 10:18 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by junk yard jon
maybe you should close this one
None of us would have seen it again if you hadn't brought it back to the front page.

But I think it's funny.
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post #14 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 10:24 PM
 
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the TWF chicks have a good sense of humor for the most part.. Im sure they'll all know its just in fun.
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post #15 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 10:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Need4Speed
the TWF chicks have a good sense of humor for the most part.. Im sure they'll all know its just in fun.
They should know it's just in fun since they bash men in here too.
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post #16 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 10:32 PM
 
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yeah they do.. and we just sit here and take it.... but i guess we're used to that by now
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post #17 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-25-2005, 10:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Need4Speed
yeah they do.. and we just sit here and take it.... but i guess we're used to that by now
Don't most guys sit there and take it? Well, except for the ones who like hit their girls and all, cause that is sometimes the reason for doing so. That's why you gotta get 'em in check FIRST!
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post #18 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-26-2005, 12:03 AM
 
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Roffles
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post #19 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-26-2005, 12:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhoenixGirlie
Roffles

does that mean?
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post #20 of 33 (permalink) Old 06-26-2005, 03:26 AM
 
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like rotflmao but so much better...truth be told...its probably like I shouldnt have been pui.
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