A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell, and the owner tells him
the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador Retriever sitting
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk
when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government;
so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting
from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders,
because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of
their most valuable spies for eight years running."
"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't
getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a
job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly
wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some
incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got
married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants
for the dog.
The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a damn liar. He didn't do any of that crap."