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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-13-2005, 10:53 PM Thread Starter
 
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FWD: Actual police quotes

I know there was a similar thread posted not too long ago, but here is one I got forwarded today in an email. I like the last one
__________________________________________________ ________
>> The following were supposedly taken off of actual police car videos
>> around the country:
>>
>> "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
>> out after you wear them awhile."
>>
>> "Take your hands off the car, or I'll make your birth certificate a
>> worthless document."
>>
>> "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
>>
>> "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't
>> know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
>>
>> "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
>> write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
>>
>> "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
>> will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
>>
>> "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
>> again or I'll give you another ticket."
>>
>> "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
>> or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
>>
>> "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
>> ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in fertilizer."
>>
>> "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
>> oven."
>>
>> "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
>>
>> "Just how big were those two beers?"
>>
>> "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now
>> we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
>>
>> "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
>> yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
>>
>> and the best one . . .
>>
>> "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right , we
>> don't. Sign here."
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-14-2005, 07:57 AM
 
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pretty funny

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-14-2005, 08:07 AM
 
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-14-2005, 08:29 AM
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Quote:
"No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-14-2005, 08:38 PM
 
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recent one I heard:

"Did you know you were doing 85 in a 70?" - DOH!
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-15-2005, 12:29 AM
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got a popo escort today, and he was leading, all i had to do was introduce myself, great ****



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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-15-2005, 12:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drewpy
got a popo escort today, and he was leading, all i had to do was introduce myself, great ****
Its funny how it works. The cops get on the road and set the speed for everybody around, whether its 10 mph below the posted speed or 10+.

Better be careful about those escorts. They can get you that way also. They just write the ticket from pacing your speed.

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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-15-2005, 10:52 AM
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If the cop is going under the speed limit I WILL pass him. I don't care. He can't do anything about it!




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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-16-2005, 12:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gas Man
If the cop is going under the speed limit I WILL pass him. I don't care. He can't do anything about it!

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