1975 - 2005
2005: Longing for hair
1975: Acid rock
2005: Acid reflux
1975: Moving to California because it's cool
2005: Moving to Arizona because it's warm
1975: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2005: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
1975: Seeds and stems
1975: Hoping for a BMW
2005: Hoping for a BM
1975: Going to a new, hip joint
2005: Receiving a new hip joint
1975: Rolling Stones
2005: Kidney Stones
1975: Being called into the principal's office
2005: Calling the principal's office
1975: Screw the system
2005: Upgrade the system
1975: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2005: Children begging you to get their heads shaved
1975: Passing the drivers' test
2005: Passing the vision test
Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will
certainly change things..
The people who are starting college this fall across the
nation were born in 1987.
They are too young to remember the first space shuttle
blowing up on liftoff.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.
The CD was introduced the year they were born.
They have always had an answering machine.
They have always had cable.
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for
a Camel", or "de plane, Boss, de plane".
They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R.
McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.