I know there was a similar thread posted not too long ago, but here is one I got forwarded today in an email. I like the last one :lol:
__________________________________________________________
>> The following were supposedly taken off of actual police car videos
>> around the country:
>>
>> "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
>> out after you wear them awhile."
>>
>> "Take your hands off the car, or I'll make your birth certificate a
>> worthless document."
>>
>> "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
>>
>> "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't
>> know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
>>
>> "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
>> write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
>>
>> "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
>> will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
>>
>> "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
>> again or I'll give you another ticket."
>>
>> "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
>> or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
>>
>> "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
>> ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in fertilizer."
>>
>> "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
>> oven."
>>
>> "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
>>
>> "Just how big were those two beers?"
>>
>> "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now
>> we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
>>
>> "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
>> yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
>>
>> and the best one . . .
>>
>> "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right , we
>> don't. Sign here."
__________________________________________________________
>> The following were supposedly taken off of actual police car videos
>> around the country:
>>
>> "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
>> out after you wear them awhile."
>>
>> "Take your hands off the car, or I'll make your birth certificate a
>> worthless document."
>>
>> "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
>>
>> "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn't
>> know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
>>
>> "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
>> write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
>>
>> "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
>> will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
>>
>> "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that
>> again or I'll give you another ticket."
>>
>> "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
>> or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
>>
>> "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
>> ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in fertilizer."
>>
>> "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
>> oven."
>>
>> "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
>>
>> "Just how big were those two beers?"
>>
>> "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now
>> we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
>>
>> "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
>> yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
>>
>> and the best one . . .
>>
>> "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right , we
>> don't. Sign here."
