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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Dave wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Dave looks around the room as sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!"

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Dave asks,"Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Dave asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!"


A self-induced hangover - $100.00
Broken furniture - $200.00
Breakfast - $10.00
Saying the right thing - PRICELESS
 

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fatburg said:
smart smart man....haha :dthumb:

definitely :thumbs:

Here is one for ya:
Girls Night Out

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"

Well, the hours passed and the champagne was going down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing he'd probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him 12:00. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "oh ****," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, then tripped over the cat and farted."
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
CrunchieJD said:
OMG, they are both so funny! Thank you to both of you....I needed to laugh tonight! :dthumb:
Glad you liked it. I was going to post some of these in Bad Jokes for the Evening Crowd or whatever but I was too lazy to find that thread again.. "Some" people live on here and post 1 million threads so it is impossible to find something..
 

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double2000r6 said:
Glad you liked it. I was going to post some of these in Bad Jokes for the Evening Crowd or whatever but I was too lazy to find that thread again.. "Some" people live on here and post 1 million threads so it is impossible to find something..
Have you tried doing a scearch for it. LOL Just kidding MP. I work on the net for 10+hrs a day at work. I have seen the end of the internet way to many times and its boring. Atleast on TWF it never ends. Someone is always posting on there. :dthumb: :D
 

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GSXR750DJ said:
Have you tried doing a scearch for it. LOL Just kidding MP. I work on the net for 10+hrs a day at work. I have seen the end of the internet way to many times and its boring. Atleast on TWF it never ends. Someone is always posting on there. :dthumb: :D

dont mind him MP, he's just brain dead from trying to catch up to me for some reason. :lol: :lol:
 
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