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I'm sure these rules will help you trying to be more squid like. These rules work best while your helmet is being worn on your elbow. This way the thing isn't hindering you from A) cursing at the jagoffs that won't move out of your way or B) flirting with passengers in cars as you pass.
Rule #1
Never lane split in an area where the cops don't have enough to do.
Exception to Rule #1.
It's ok to lane split in any area as long as there are enough of you, because out of a pack of 10, they're most likely only going to catch 1 or 2 of you. Just be faster than your pals.
Rule #2
If a car purposely moves over into the lane attempting to hinder you from white lining between him and the other car. Smash his tail lights. Rev your motor. And start doing a burnout, when they see the smoke coming from your rear tire, they'll move.
Exceptions to Rule #2.
Unless it's a cop car
Unless you're not wearing steel-toed boots
Unless you're on a road without many exits.
Rule #3
Always lane split, never ride on the shoulder. Cops HATE that. The shoulder is their own little private area for them to drive on and they get upset if anyone else does it. (jealous bastards)
Exceptions to Rule #3
Unless you're on an exit ramp, then who's going to know.
Unless, god forbid, someone got in front of you and you're not talented enough to lane split.
Rule #4
Rev up! The sound of your pipe echoing off the other cars as you pass them will probably only be heard by the cars you just passed, but Who Cares! You look cool and you at least sound good to yourself and any of your other squid friends splitting behind you.
Exception to Rule #4
Unless you don't want to be noticed.
Unless you're passing a cop car.
Rule #5
Never ever lane split near a toll plaza. Other cars will complain that you get to pay your money faster than them (heaven forbid). Toll plaza people have little better to do than to hold you there while some cop writes you a ticket. Cops always hide at toll plazas.
Exception to Rule #5
Lane splitting through a toll plaza is fine if you're planning on blowing the toll. However, make sure your bike is not pink, that your license plate is not yours and your leathers don't have your name on them.
Rule #6
When riding in a pack of 10 or more, throw all vehicular laws out the window, as they only apply to cars. You should lane split to get to the front of every intersection. Once the entire crew gets to the line, get into drag racing stance. If the light doesn't turn green within a few seconds, it's ok. Red lights are now optional... if enough of you are revving your engines, you can go. This is similar to the theory that it's ok to blow a light that recently turned if you honk first. Anyway, when all of you are ready to go through the intersection, if the light isn't turning green, just go through it anyway. Preferably someone should lead the pack while doing A) a rolling burnout or B) a 12 o'clock wheelie.
Exception to Rule #6
Unless there are more cops around than bikes.
Unless you don't know the area.
I hope all this helps for some of the squids out there and some of us who just don't care from time to time. :dthumb:
Rule #1
Never lane split in an area where the cops don't have enough to do.
Exception to Rule #1.
It's ok to lane split in any area as long as there are enough of you, because out of a pack of 10, they're most likely only going to catch 1 or 2 of you. Just be faster than your pals.
Rule #2
If a car purposely moves over into the lane attempting to hinder you from white lining between him and the other car. Smash his tail lights. Rev your motor. And start doing a burnout, when they see the smoke coming from your rear tire, they'll move.
Exceptions to Rule #2.
Unless it's a cop car
Unless you're not wearing steel-toed boots
Unless you're on a road without many exits.
Rule #3
Always lane split, never ride on the shoulder. Cops HATE that. The shoulder is their own little private area for them to drive on and they get upset if anyone else does it. (jealous bastards)
Exceptions to Rule #3
Unless you're on an exit ramp, then who's going to know.
Unless, god forbid, someone got in front of you and you're not talented enough to lane split.
Rule #4
Rev up! The sound of your pipe echoing off the other cars as you pass them will probably only be heard by the cars you just passed, but Who Cares! You look cool and you at least sound good to yourself and any of your other squid friends splitting behind you.
Exception to Rule #4
Unless you don't want to be noticed.
Unless you're passing a cop car.
Rule #5
Never ever lane split near a toll plaza. Other cars will complain that you get to pay your money faster than them (heaven forbid). Toll plaza people have little better to do than to hold you there while some cop writes you a ticket. Cops always hide at toll plazas.
Exception to Rule #5
Lane splitting through a toll plaza is fine if you're planning on blowing the toll. However, make sure your bike is not pink, that your license plate is not yours and your leathers don't have your name on them.
Rule #6
When riding in a pack of 10 or more, throw all vehicular laws out the window, as they only apply to cars. You should lane split to get to the front of every intersection. Once the entire crew gets to the line, get into drag racing stance. If the light doesn't turn green within a few seconds, it's ok. Red lights are now optional... if enough of you are revving your engines, you can go. This is similar to the theory that it's ok to blow a light that recently turned if you honk first. Anyway, when all of you are ready to go through the intersection, if the light isn't turning green, just go through it anyway. Preferably someone should lead the pack while doing A) a rolling burnout or B) a 12 o'clock wheelie.
Exception to Rule #6
Unless there are more cops around than bikes.
Unless you don't know the area.
I hope all this helps for some of the squids out there and some of us who just don't care from time to time. :dthumb:
