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2,837 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Mississippi Student Absentees

These are real notes written from parents in a Mississippi school district.
The spelling has been left intact.

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.
Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent.
She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent
on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days.
Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.
He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because
she has been bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. (This is my favorite one)
He had diahre dyrea direathe the ****s.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

I kept Billie home because she had to go
Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday.
We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch,
and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday.
We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired.
She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday.
He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday.
She was in bed with gramps.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

Please excuse Brenda, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever,
sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick,
fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached
all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There
must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

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My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.
Please execute him

LMAO!!!! :lol:

My mom actually sent in a note with me when I was kid, and said that almost exact statement. The school nurse at the time, questioned me on it :smash:

I cant believe I remembered that..too funny

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396 Posts
That shiznit was funny. LMAO. That's why my wife writes the notes. Not me.

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2,837 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
The school I went to would execute you if your parents write a f'd up note like that. Hey C who are the bikini chicks in your 2 wheel pics? I would assume you are one of them since you linked to it? I just noticed that link and clicked it and the only pic was 4 chicks, a baby and some HD guy looking like he is signing autographs or something.
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