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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
My good friend Prusaczyk came to this country from Poland as a mail order husband.
He and his American wife got along pretty good considering his english was very poor. One day he came to my door in a panic, said he was in trouble and needed a lawyer.

I took him to visit one of my attorneys. He asked me to stay with him during the consultation and this is the conversation I heard...

Prusaczyk: "I need a divorce, what do I do?"

Attorney: "Well, I have to determine your circumstances before we go foreward, let me as you a few questions." Do you have any Grounds

Prusaczyk: "yes, an acre and a half"

Attorney: "No I mean the foundation"

Prusaczyk: "Concrete"

Attorney: "You don't understand, does either of you have a grudge?"

Prusaczyk: "No, we have carport"

Attorney: "I mean, how are your relations?"

Prusaczyk: "Still in Poland"

Attorney: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage"

Prusaczyk: "No, We have HiFi stereo and really good DVD player"

Attorney: Does your wife beat you up?"

Prusaczyk: "No, I always up with coffee before her"

Attorney: "Is your wife a Nagger?"

Prusaczyk: " I am ashamed you use such word, but she is white"

The Attorney, obviously frustrated sighed and asked, "So why do you want this divorce?"

Prusaczyk: "She going to kill me"

The Attorney sat upright in his chair, looked at my friend and asked,"Are you sure?...Do you have any Proof?"

My friend Prusaczyk started nodding his head, "she going to poison me, when she come home from store, I find this in purse..."

And with tears in his eyes, my friend Prusaczyk pulled from his pocket...

you guessed it...

a bottle of Polish Remover...

· Banned
6,147 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
A popular barber shop had a new robotic barber installed. A fellow came in for a haircut. As the robot began to cut his hair it asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "130." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about physics, astronomy, investments, insurance, and so on. The man listened intently and said, "This is really cool." Later, another gent came in for a haircut and the robot asked him as it began the haircut, "What's your IQ?" The man responded, "100." So the robot started talking about football, baseball, and so on. The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool." Later on, a third guy came in to the barbershop. As with the others, the robot barber asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied, "40."

The robot then said, "So, I understand you Democrats are really excited about Hillary running for president?"
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